Dave has done a remix after feedback from Gavin
Please have a listen


https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13797262




Sad Theme.
I read a story about 5 years ago concerning a teenage girl who was born with facial disfigurements.
All through her life she had been bullied taunted and a figure of fun for the callous.
Firstly a lyric came from it, then our song
Please have a listen
Travis



Deej( Dave Lekich) saw my lyric on the forum and offered to compose a melody and do a vocal.
Having heard Dave's unique voice and seen his work around JPF i couldn't refuse
Travis


https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13792598


SAME AS YOU INSIDE
v
Look at me, tell me what you see
in my eyes is there laughter or pain?
Talk to me don't turn your head away
been through all that time and again
c
I'm the same as you inside, hurt and I cry
here I am reaching out to you
Seems I'm forever on the outside
wipe away a tear and sigh another sigh
I'm the same as you inside, hurt and I cry
v
Someone to love me be my best friend
and say all the things best friends say
No longer turn my head at cruel things said
just need someone to ask, you OK?
b
Words can be sweet and please the soul, 
words can be brutal and spear the heart.
words won't show the bruises they've made
but leave inward scars that time never fades
c
I'm the same as you inside, hurt and I cry
here I am reaching out to you
Seems I'm forever on the outside
wipe away a tear and sigh another sigh
I'm the same as you inside, hurt and I cry

Well done, Travis and Deej:

Great story line and message. It can be a cruel world sometimes. Reminds me of the hope on the horizon as new medical and surgical break-through's are happening on almost a daily basis now. Thanks for sharing. ----Dave

Very nicely done.
Perfect match, music to lyric.

Vic

I like this very much. A lot of emotion in the vocals. Is it just me, or is there a bit of a Cat Stevens sound to Deej's voice?

The only bit I'm not sure about is the "hurt and I cry" as an aside in my right ear. It's a good idea, but something doesn't sound quite right to me. Also, when Deej sings "been through all this," it sounds to me as if he is telling us he's been to New Orleans.

Great job!

Lovely song...heartfelt, sincere

Lovely song...heartfelt, sincere

Hi Dave
Yiur informed feedback is always welcome and appreciated.
Hope you are keeping welll?
Regards
John

Hi Vic
Pleased you liked this one Deej did a great job
Regards
John

Thanks Gavin
I liked the backing vocals but i suppose you can't please everyone
Good that you liked the song anyhow
Thanks for your ears and thumbs up
Travis

I did like this one John.
Really liked Deej's singing in there, also the guitar playing.

Hi Deej, do you record your vocals and guitar at the same time?

Regards
Mimmo

Thanks Neil. Pleased it worked for you
Travis

Dave, Vic and Neil:

Thanks for stopping in for the listen. Travis provided some beautiful lyrics, and the melody almost magically fell into place. I’m glad they meshed, and that you enjoyed the tune.

Hope all is well with each of you.

Regards,

Deej

Gavin:

Appreciate the listen. Cat Stevens, huh? Well, that’s fine by me (but do I have to give up my efforts to join a Bee Gees cover band?). Anyway, I don’t think I’m anywhere near either universe, but I’ll settle for the next galaxy or two over.

As for the song, this recording was actually a pretty quick take, principally intended to give Travis a feel for where I was going with it. But, as it turns out, I think acoustic style works well, so I'm not planning on adding much more to it.

I agree though that the backing vocals might benefit from some fine tuning. For example, I meant for the “I hurt, I cry” to be more stereo than dominant in the right ear. While I do think the backing vox are moderately respectable here, it’s worth trying to tweak. I’ll play with it and see if I can soften it some.

Sadly, I have not yet been to New Orleans—maybe one day! :-)

Thanks again for the input, and kindest regards,

Deej

Mimmo,

Thanks for giving this one a spin and glad you liked it. As for your question, I recorded the guitar first, then the vocal, then the backing vocals (though see my note to Gavin above—the backing vox are worth revisiting). I record them on separate tracks primarily because then I can adjust each distinctly in my DAW. But, I also do it because I find I don't play as well when I'm singing at the same time.

When I first started on JPF, I was just recording g/v on my laptop in GarageBand, single track. For example, the first song I posted here—“Lonely Tonight”—was done that way. I somewhat cringe when I listen to it now--probably one I should revisit as I’ve improved (albeit slightly) in production (I’d like to think at least).

All the best,

Deej

Hi guys,


Very nicely done, I appreciate your work here.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Thanks again Calvin for your support. Pleased you liked this one as well
Travis

Hi Deej.
Yeah, I would do the same if I recorded guitars. Lately I don't do much live guitars, my fingers are sore and I won't be able to play for a long time. so I usually try to get help on the live recording from friends here and there.
Thanks for sharing.
Mimmo

Hi Mimmo
Look forwards to working with you again soon
Take it easy too!
Cheers
John

Awesome tune,cool style of vocals with some great music,the right blend there.Mike

Thanks Mike great feedback and rightly for Dave's work.
How about mine lol?
Cheers john

LOL,i would include your lyrics in the "awesome tune" sentence,Travis.But if i must,yes,your lyric is something to sing about,i enjoyed it.Mike

Thanks for the return visit Mike.
You're right or it would be just an instrumental lo!
Cheers
Jo h

Calvin and Michael,

Thanks much for the listen and kind words. Glad you enjoyed the tune.

All the best,

Deej

Travis that is an excellent song, I just loved the lyric and I don`t think anyone else could have
got this across as well as Deej He is just excellent with the vocal and music ...and really I don`t think
anyone could have "fit this lyric, great song hats off to you two.

Hi Lane
Not seen you around for a while.
Thanks for your feedback and thumbs up
Travis

imo...

Tremendously sincere. The story, melody and vocal line were a real good fit for DJ's voice and style.

The story could have come off as ripped-from-the-headlines and gratuitous in someone else's song....but in this one, it didn't to my ear. The lyrics were lovely and evocative and flowed easily from the melody and sounded like someone really meant them.

Very nice dual effort. Regards.

Martin

Thanks Martin for that generous feedback.
Very much appreciated
Travis

This is a real tug in the heartstrings songs for our times. I was a bullied child myself back in the days when we were usually told to just toughen up.

Hi Brian
Thanks for your comments and stepping forward as a victim of bullying.
Sadly the field is wide open for bullies be it at school in the work place or within the home.
There's no excuse and no way is it acceptable.
Regards
Travis

Lane, Martin and Brian:

Thanks for stopping in and for your kind comments. I can't say enough how much these affecting lyrics struck me when I first read them. I'm pleased I could do well by them (and by Travis, who wrote them), and that you all enjoyed it. Travis nailed what it's like to feel like an outsider. Whether we are different by color, gender, sexuality, or, in the case of this song's inspiration, a physical disfigurement--or really any other difference between one and the so-called "norm", in the end, we all have one common denominator: We want to be like and loved. We deserve both. And we shouldn't tolerate the bullies who aim to make themselves feel superior by making the rest of us feel worse.

Again, appreciate the listen.

Kindest regards to you all,

Deej

Hi Travis and Deej...this song and performance are obviously heartfelt. But without your intro, I would have no idea what the song was about. Someone seems to need a friend and ,yes, words can hurt. Those ideas are a little...trite. You
need some show in your opening lines to explain why your character feels the way they do. Many modern songs are underwritten and leave it to a video to do the heavy lifting. I'm somewhat more old fashioned and think the song should
speak for itself. I also think if you tried to pitch this, a publisher would say it needs more detail. If it's a message song, the message needs to be clear.

Hi Couchgrouch,
Thanks for your feedback.I played the song to a few people before any explanation behind it and the concensus seemed to be, it's about racial or sexual intolerence?
Which of course puts bullying in the frame
So if it made them think of these issues, it has worked.
Perhaps the lyric is twee and trite to you but conversley it might mean much more to someone else so it's subjective.
I appreciate your comments, the song being at a work in progress stage, could well see a change or two.
However the theme will remain and of course Dave's excellent vocal/ music
Cheers
Travis

Hey, Couch,

Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. While I don’t entirely agree with your take on this—and would assert that there’s far more to these lyrics than “I need a friend and words hurt”—I’m also of the mind that every critique is an opportunity to learn and that every song can be improved by them. So I really appreciate your feedback--we’ll definitely give it consideration as we look to evolve the tune. Again, thanks for stopping in and sharing your thoughts--your input is very helpful.

All the best to you,

Deej

https://www.thesourcefm.co.uk/whats-on/sophies-springboard-show/

Played on SOURCE RADIO CORNWALL.

Guys, I don't know where in the song they'd have gotten racial or sexual intolerance, but if they did, good for you and good for them. I'd recommend a listen to Mark Wills' Don't Laugh at Me as an example of the points I made. Hey, I could be wrong and congrats on the radio play.

It is very vague, im not seeing the racial intolerance, but maybe somebody who experiences it can. It doesnt point to it lyrically

It's funny reading comments about songs here. it tells alot about human nature. I immediately chuckle when I see the Cowrite monikers.

its like. "hey this one must be good, cause a co-writer is listed"

Some of you wrote together and it was wonderful, then when not together, it's not so wonderful.

I get ideas sometimes just by reading these comments, they add more drama than the song, and provide insight to us humans.

Congrats on the radio play.

Thanks Coach.
I suppose everyone forms their own meaning when listening to the lyric
I do it, it might be totally distanced from what the writer had in mind but that's how i percieve it to mean.
It incidently gets a further play by the BBC tomorrow night an email confirmed
Travis

Basically the same reply i gave Couchgrouch, Fdemetrio.
I wrote it about a girl who was bullied due to her facial disfigurement for want of a better term.
Others heard it differently.
A further radio play tomorrow
Cheers
Travis

A new remix which i hope address' one or two feedback comments.
Thanks once again for your support and help
Travis

Travis and Deej:

Excellent work. That acoustic sounds superb. Nicely done. That lyric hits hard. Very heartfelt and knowing the back story brings it home further. Very good work.

Dave

Thanks Dave your comments are appreciated.
Thanks for the listen
Cheers
Travis

A wonderful song you have here travis. I like the massage to the story.

Good luck.

Thanks Irwin but i think Dave should take the thanks for his outstanding work on this.
But great to receive your feedback
Regards
Travis

Hey Travis/Deej,

Got here a bit late, but I got here John! Well, well, this was a real treat in all respects! Peanut butter & jelly for sure. Hey Gavin, didn't hear original, but noticed your Cat Stevens comment--Deej's voice is a combination of Cat Stevens and David Becker!

steady-eddie

Eddie,

Appreciate the listen and the kind comments. To my detriment, I'm sure, I'm not familiar with David Becker--but now I'm curious so will have to check him out. Good to see you back here, Eddie. You input is always valued and the JPF is not the same without you!

Hope all is well in your world,

Deej

Thanks, Irwin, for the listen here and glad you enjoyed the tune. Travis is being far to modest here: there's no song without the lyrics, and his made my job pretty easy.

All the best to you,

Deej

I am very late to this thread, but loved this piece. I was thinking of my autistic son as I heard this without first reading the back story. His was a long hard road as he was mainstreamed from kindergarten through high school. If Neil Young is still searching for a heart of gold, he would find it in my son. He never reciprocated the abuse he received.

Thank you for this beautiful collaboration. It will be timeless.

Hi Perry
Thanks for the thumvs up and sharing your sons story. My youngest son was also bullied due to problems with his legs.
Kids can be cruel.
Cheers
Travis

Hey guys,

Came back for another listen. Just plain enjoyed it! (no pun intended)

It's nice sometimes to come back and listen to a song that you first heard a week or so earlier, (those of us that are evaluating/critiquing/etc) as we're more apt to listen as a lay person to a song and just "feel" it in a more natural manner. This one feels/sounds very good to me. This is why sometimes composers & lyricists sometimes when having delved into their own music need to put a song on the shelf for a couple of weeks when unsure of arrangements or lyrics--this gives your brain an opportunity for a "fresh" listen which can be valuable for the polishing stages especially--at least one of my methods for what its worth.

Congrats guys!

steady-eddie

Thanks Ed for a further listen. Much appreciate your thumbs up
John