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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
A lyric i found hard to write.
(First draft)
Penned it after i saw a story about a teenage girl who was born with a terrible facial disfigurement. She was bullied, taunted and laughed at by morons who got their enjoyment out of destroying the poor kids soul. The bridge was written for another song but fitted. It has also been pinched from me and appears in various forms on the net with the author as Anon. SAME AS YOU INSIDE v Look at me, tell me what you see in my eyes is there laughter or pain? Talk to me, don't turn your head away been through all this time and again c I'm the same as you inside, hurt and I cry here I am reaching out to you As it Seems I'm forever on the outside wipe away a tear and sigh another sigh I'm the same as you inside, hurt and I cry v Someone to love me be my best friend say all the things best friends say No longer turn my head at cruel things said just need someone to ask, you OK? b Words can be sweet and please the soul, words can be brutal and spear the heart. words won't show the bruises they've made but leave inward scars that time never fades c I'm the same as you inside, hurt and I cry here I am reaching out to you Seems I'm forever on the outside wipe away a tear and sigh another sigh I'm the same as you inside, hurt and I cry
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 |
Travis,
This is a terrific lyric. I think it would have resonated without the context you set, but that made it all the more magnetic. That second verse is killer. I agree the bridge as written fits, but I'm going to challenge you to revisit. Everything that precedes and follows that bridge is her/him singing to us--but the bridge loses that voice. It reads like an external narrator has inserted him or her self into the narrative. The first two lines can work, but bring it home in those last two lines of the bridge--make it personal from her/his perspective; make me feel the hurt.
All that said, this might be the best "first draft" I've read from you (and there's been a ton of great stuff). This has the making of something really special.
Oh, and for what it's worth, I'd go with just "Same as You" as a title.
All the best,
Deej
Last edited by Deej56; 09/27/18 11:48 PM.
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