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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Top 50 Poster
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OP
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909 |
Chronically Logical (Neil Cotton)
My road had many 3 prong forks I’ve always gone straight ahead Never dared turn left or right Had to keep my fam’ly fed
I ‘m chronically Logical Pushing the risky aside I ‘m chronically Logical Using the true and tried Holding tight & in control I ‘m chronically Logical
Now I examine my life style No high priced cars or threads I’m mired deep in the past Barely know the interweb
I ‘m chronically Logical Pushing the risky aside I ‘m chronically Logical Using the true and tried Holding tight & in control I ‘m chronically Logical
Have I out thought myself Am I afraid of chance I’m glad I’m still the same I wouldn’t have all I have
I ‘m chronically Logical Pushing the risky aside I ‘m chronically Logical Using the true and tried Holding tight & in control I ‘m chronically Logical
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 |
Neil,
Really like the message here, and the lyrics generally carry it well. I can here how "chronically logical" could really serve as a hook. Might be some opportunities to fine tune and wordsmith here or there, In particular, I think the bridge could maybe move the song forward a bit more. As it stands, it doesn't add much to the overall theme. Keep working this one, Neil--I like it.
Kind regards,
Deej
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,144 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,144 Likes: 26 |
I like this. I can feel the melody in the lyrics. I'm guessing you already have one in mind. Deej mentions a bridge, but I'm not sure I see one. It looks like verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, unless you have something different in mind musically for the third verse.
There's a bit of humor in the hook, "chronically logical," but aside from the use of "interweb," I don't see any more humor. I wonder if you could find a way to add a joke or two or some playful internal rhymes? For instance...
Now I examine my life style No high priced cars or threads I’m mired deep in the past Barely know the interweb
could be...
I guess you'd smile at my life style No high priced cars or threads I’m stuck fast in the distant past Barely know the interweb
Of course, I always tend to do things this way. It doesn't mean It's the right way to go. Just a suggestion.
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