19 registered members (glynda, AntonyRobWells, Dave Rice, John W. Selleck, Everett Adams, couchgrouch, Gavin Sinclair, 4 invisible),
and 750
guests, and |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
#1144679 - 09/14/18 05:02 PM
Re: It just don't hurt that much
[Re: sharthejoysheila]
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 37
Spanky9
Casual Observer
|
Casual Observer
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 37
Cincinnati OH USA
|
That song reminds me of what I'm going through. It is a perfect song. I hope someone give you a recording deal. And some day it becomes number 1.
Michelle Strebe
|
|
|
#1144690 - 09/14/18 08:18 PM
Re: It just don't hurt that much
[Re: sharthejoysheila]
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 37
Spanky9
Casual Observer
|
Casual Observer
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 37
Cincinnati OH USA
|
Can you read my song and tell me what you think
Michelle Strebe
|
|
|
#1151874 - 03/25/19 01:56 PM
Re: It just don't hurt that much
[Re: sharthejoysheila]
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,472
Gary E. Andrews
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,472
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
|
NO NEED TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY (I think "Just Don't Hurt That Much" is the title.) Verse I (At) Two A.M., you're (you come) draggin' in Crying Honey! Baby! Dear! I’m wishin’ you would save your breath It’s rank from all that beer. (There's) No need to apologize Cause I (can) get thirsty too. (Delete 'Cause'? Unnecessary word.) You’ll be gone when I get done washin’ my hands of you.
Chorus
No need to say you're sorry cause I know that you're not. (Delete 'cause', again. Maybe "We both know you're not") The only thing you're sorry 'bout is the fact you just got caught. I know you’ve been slippin’ 'round but this time you slipped up. (Delete 'but', unnecessary) No need to say you're sorry cause (Delete 'cause') It Just Don’t Hurt That Much. No need to say you're sorry! It Just Don't Hurt That Much! (You could repeat this line to emphasize it as the gist of the story, THE Hook, the title, the reason there's no need. That last line left ringing in their ears is likely the one they'll remember, especially if repeated.)
Verse II I('m not gonna') won’t stay at home alone tryin’ to play the(your) good ol’ girl. I’m going (It's time for me for) steppin out and give this party life a whirl. (give party life a whirl)
(Here's a Line-flip to consider) When you clear your bloodshot eyes, pick yourself up off the ground, I know you'll say you're sorry when you don't see me around.
No need to say you're sorry We both know you're not. The only thing you're sorry 'bout is the fact you just got caught. I know you’ve been slippin’ 'round This time you slipped up. No need to say you're sorry it Just Don’t Hurt That Much. No need to say you're sorry. it Just Don’t Hurt That Much No, it Just Don't Hurt That Much.
(I have a theory that listeners don't need the 'Cause' 'But' and 'And' connector words writers use. Use them while writing but if the Rhythm and Rhyme can work without them the listener 'gets' the connection of ideas without them. You 'unclutter' the lines in the singer's mouth and the listeners' ears. The thought reads the same without them, usually. There may be occasions when you need them but I think usually they're unnecessary.) The main idea of this Song captures something many have experienced, that when we finally decide to save ourselves from a bad relationship, our hurtin' is over. We're a little cold and clinical about the final act in the play so it, "Just Don't Hurt That Much.")
Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 03/30/19 08:48 AM.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums116
Topics119,610
Posts1,127,278
Members21,241
Average Posts Daily35
|
Most Online3,244 Nov 8th, 2019
|
|
"Sometimes, the best thing you can say, isn't the easiest thing" -Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|