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#1144652 - 09/14/18 11:04 AM I don't love you  
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 37
Spanky9 Online content
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Spanky9  Online Content
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Joined: Sep 2018
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Cincinnati OH USA
Verse 1
I thought you would be in love with me. But its not for me I want to know why? You cussed me out. It is not what i'm about. I wish you hadn't cussed me out I and moving on with my life. You don't need me as your wife. I don't understand why you're talking to her . I'm not in your hand. How was she had stayed being my man.
Chorus
I don't love you. I'm saying goodbye to you too. I don't love you. I wish you would move on with your life. Instead of me making me cry. I don't love you. You had your chance with me. You're in love with her and not me. I don't love you. I'm sorry but I am gone. Well you were her are had fun I don't love you.
Verse 2
I could laugh I could cry. I want somebody to be in my life. I don't want to feel like a heartbreak. But yet you make me feel like a mistake. In your life. I what do anything. For a man to be in love with me And not her. She will never be your girl.
Chorus
I don't love you. I'm saying good by to you too. I wish you would move on with your life. Instead of making me cry. I don't love you. You had your chance with me. You're in love with her and not me. I don't love you. I am sorry but I am gone. Well your with her and having fun. I don't love you.
Bridge
How would you feel if my love wasn't real. I gave everything to you I gave my love . My heart and it's not up to you now. I'm leaving you so don't contact me anymore right now. I had respected you. And I hope you. Move on with your life hopefully you will think twice. What you have done.
Chorus
I don't love you. I'm saying good by too you. I wish you would move on with your life. Instead of making me cry. I don't love you. You how's your chance with me.You are in love with her and not me. I'm sorry but I am gone. Well you're with her and having fun. I don't love you.
Dedicated to men


Michelle Strebe
#1144657 - 09/14/18 11:49 AM Re: I don't love you [Re: Spanky9]  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 8,793
John Lawrence Schick Offline
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John Lawrence Schick  Offline
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Welcome aboard Spanky!

Michelle (I imagine that's your real name), best if you use your real name if you want to appear as a real person.. First off, your website, nor FB page doesn't show. Probably best not to use the links if they don't work. It all has to do with making a pro appearance.

As far as your lyrics go... it would be better if you used a standard form, like this: http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthr...e-moon-comments-welcome.html#Post1054121 Most musicians would be turned off by your lack of form. Needs some meter, unless you're thinking Rap.

I hope you take my suggestions constructively (they're meant to be). Hope you find a co-writer here. JPF is a great learning environment.


Best, John smile

#1144662 - 09/14/18 04:13 PM Re: I don't love you [Re: Spanky9]  
Joined: Sep 2018
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Spanky9 Online content
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Spanky9  Online Content
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So you're saying my song is not good


Michelle Strebe
#1144664 - 09/14/18 04:35 PM Re: I don't love you [Re: Spanky9]  
Joined: Dec 2008
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John Lawrence Schick Offline
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Originally Posted by Spanky9
So you're saying my song is not good


No, I'm not saying that Michelle. I'm saying if you want a composer to write music to your lyrics, it would be better to use the standard form. Musicians think in terms of meter. Each verse should have a similar meter/ length. I'm sure these lyrics are close to your heart. Refining them into a useable structure would make them better, and have a better chance as a collaboration. There are a lot of writers here that would be glad to help you. Then again, you may find someone to work your lyrics the way they are. I'm not a lyricist, so wait for more opinions.


Best of luck, John smile

#1144665 - 09/14/18 04:38 PM Re: I don't love you [Re: Spanky9]  
Joined: Sep 2018
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Spanky9 Online content
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Thanks John I love writing songs. I hope to make number 1 hits for country pop and Christian music


Michelle Strebe
#1144668 - 09/14/18 05:17 PM Re: I don't love you [Re: Spanky9]  
Joined: Dec 2008
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John Lawrence Schick Offline
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Originally Posted by Spanky9
Thanks John I love writing songs. I hope to make number 1 hits for country pop and Christian music


One secret about writing... the more you do it, the better you get. Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite! Before I send a track of mine to my publisher, I first work at the piano. When the first draft is written, I put it away till the next day. Then the refining begins. It's amazing what improvements that can be made the next day. After that I record, edit, and mix it. Then again let it simmer over night. Refine some more the next day. Then before I send it out (sometimes a week later), I listen with fresh ears and give it a final refining. You don't want to send anything out that isn't your hardworking best effort. Often, I work on 10 tracks in the same 1-2-week period.

About writing #1 hits. Hits have a lot more to do with promotion and performance. Best to seek a small appreciative audience at first. Those big hits you hear have a lot of promotion bucks behind them. Best advice, think in terms of becoming a better and better writer. It's a very small group of writers that have those big hits. And often it doesn't have a lot to do with great songs. A big hit doesn't necessitate a great song. And a great song doesn't necessitate a hit song.

I hope some of the fine-tuned lyricists here give you better advice.

Best, John smile

#1144669 - 09/14/18 05:21 PM Re: I don't love you [Re: Spanky9]  
Joined: Sep 2018
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Spanky9 Online content
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Spanky9  Online Content
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I can't sing or play musical instruments. I want to find people who can.


Michelle Strebe
#1144671 - 09/14/18 05:26 PM Re: I don't love you [Re: Spanky9]  
Joined: Dec 2008
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John Lawrence Schick Offline
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John Lawrence Schick  Offline
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Originally Posted by Spanky9
I can't sing or play musical instruments. I want to find people who can.


That's why refining your lyrics is all important. The better written the lyrics, the better chance of interesting a composer/ musician. Also finding new concepts and different ways of saying things.

John smile

#1144677 - 09/14/18 05:53 PM Re: I don't love you [Re: Spanky9]  
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Spanky9 Online content
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Okay how do I get A lot of people interested in me


Michelle Strebe
#1144680 - 09/14/18 06:03 PM Re: I don't love you [Re: Spanky9]  
Joined: Dec 2008
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John Lawrence Schick Offline
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Originally Posted by Spanky9
Okay how do I get A lot of people interested in me


Keep writing and posting your lyrics for review here Michelle. Think more in terms of becoming a better and better writer. Nothing happens over night in the music business. Hope you find some other lyricists here to give you ideas.

John smile

#1144682 - 09/14/18 06:07 PM Re: I don't love you [Re: Spanky9]  
Joined: Sep 2018
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Spanky9 Online content
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I love writing songs about my life.


Michelle Strebe

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