Who's Online Now
18 registered members (Leanne Marchand, couchgrouch, brendaesteplyrics, Andy K, Brian Austin Whitney, Martin Lide, JaneK, maccharles, 3 invisible), and 461 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Douglas Murphy
Douglas Murphy
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Posts: 6,206
Joined: January 2009
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
I Love Only You
by Leanne Marchand. 04/22/19 12:03 AM
Only Ravens Know
by Leanne Marchand. 04/21/19 11:41 PM
DANCE WITH HIM. ( not done country for a while)
by Leanne Marchand. 04/21/19 11:14 PM
Parody
by Leanne Marchand. 04/21/19 10:52 PM
Song Requirements
by JaneK. 04/21/19 08:19 PM
A Hop in My Walk
by Neil Cotton. 04/21/19 03:01 PM
In Your Dreams
by Walt Lamberg. 04/21/19 02:05 PM
Making Great Demos with BIAB
by Neil Cotton. 04/21/19 08:40 AM
Lil Nas and Old Town Road
by Martin Lide. 04/20/19 10:30 PM
If You Stay
by Martin Lide. 04/20/19 08:16 PM
ALONE TIME
by Moosesong. 04/20/19 07:13 PM
Shift Happens
by Neil Cotton. 04/20/19 07:09 PM
Disc Makers Blog: Music Libraries
by John Lawrence Schick. 04/20/19 06:57 PM
Maggot Lago
by Moosesong. 04/20/19 05:06 PM
My Own True Love---Novella
by Fdemetrio. 04/20/19 12:36 PM
Attention Span?
by Everett Adams. 04/20/19 07:37 AM
Dumpster Of Broken Hearts
by nightengale. 04/20/19 12:57 AM
Who's got money for music, and isn't listening?
by Dave Rice. 04/19/19 11:27 PM
Hop in My Walk
by Neil Cotton. 04/19/19 01:15 PM
THE LOST CHAD SONG
by Ray E. Strode. 04/19/19 11:51 AM
My Witching Hour
by Sam Wilson. 04/19/19 10:51 AM
Better Memories
by Dave Rice. 04/19/19 08:44 AM
Mixed Vegetable Soup Recipe for Babies
by Brian Austin Whitney. 04/18/19 09:55 PM
Blowin' Up A Storm
by Gerry. 04/18/19 04:48 PM
Moments Of Desire
by Mimmo. 04/18/19 12:35 PM
Gone With the Ghost of the Sun
by couchgrouch. 04/18/19 11:12 AM
Irene (Mark Kaufmann Collab)
by Fdemetrio. 04/18/19 10:54 AM
Rough Chic'
by F Williams. 04/18/19 10:50 AM
song a week/we never ruled the world.
by Gary E. Andrews. 04/18/19 10:16 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,716
Travis david 11,382
Kevin Emmrich 10,543
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,572
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,844
glynda 8,589
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,903
couchgrouch 7,483
Corey 7,357
Dave Rice 7,169
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,452
Joe Wrabek 6,403
ben willis 6,097
Vicarn 6,043
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,604
niteshift 5,473
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
Neil Cotton 4,737
DonnaMarilyn 4,635
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,356
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,033
Roy Cooper 4,017
nightengale 3,993
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,794
Dan Sullivan 3,710
MFB III 3,687
beechnut79 3,492
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
E Swartz 3,309
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,812
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,570
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,203
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
floyd jane 1,982
maccharles 1,926
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,644
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,596
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,461
Tom Franz 1,453
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
GocartMoz 1,396
mattbanx 1,384
Martin Lide 1,379
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Ian Ferrin 1,230
PeteG 1,229
Glen King 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
Gerry 1,134
summeoyo 1,108
Fdemetrio 1,096
joro 1,081
BobbyJoe 1,075
lane1777 1,052
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Deej56 964
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 947
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
9ne 875
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
90 dB 760
Andy K 740
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Irwin 615
Mel 614
Pat Hardy 604
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
Moosesong 572
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
R&M 487
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1144360 - 09/01/18 02:18 AM Love Goes  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 964
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 964
Hi, all:

Well, I could probably play with this mix for the next 20 years (feels like I already have) and still not get it right. Just going to let this one fly for now and hope your kind suggestions will help guide me, as they usually do. I hope it's worth the listen.

Love Goes

It’s not your fault, I know;
but I can read the writing in your eyes— so you know.
It really shouldn’t come as a surprise.
It just shows even all the best things fall apart,
however hard you try.
And I wonder where it goes—
how love comes to your heart
then disappears.

Restless hearts, restless minds;
say goodbye to what we’ll leave behind.
Reckless thoughts, reckless words—
maybe time will finally heal the hurt.
(Who knows where love goes?)

It’s not my choice to leave;
and I can hear your voice sound like a symphony,
playing sweet upon my doubts and empathy—
it’s a melody you’ve played before
to bring me to my knees,
but not anymore,
and so, darling, can’t we please
just let this go.

Restless hearts, restless minds;
say goodbye to what we’ll leave behind.
Reckless thoughts, reckless words—
maybe time will finally heal the hurt.
(Who knows where love goes?)

Too late to turn the hands of time,
to undo what was said,
to undo what we’ve done;
a song can’t be unsung—
no, our time has run.

Restless hearts, restless minds;
say goodbye to what we’ll leave behind.
Reckless thoughts, reckless words;
maybe time will finally heal the hurt.
(Who knows where love goes?)

2018(c) DJ Lekich

#1144371 - 09/01/18 10:37 AM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,169
Dave Rice Offline
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,169
Texas
Really beautiful song with such a true, sad sentiment. Enjoyed your vocal and the heartbreak reflected as you sang and played it. Best of luck with it. ----Dave

#1144372 - 09/01/18 11:08 AM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,716
Calvin Offline
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,716
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello Deej,


Impressive & beautiful.
Your vocal always sounds cool.


Calvin


Maggie Udder..... http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1144380 - 09/01/18 01:03 PM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,043
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,043
UK
Hi Deej.
Apart from the sudden transition into the chorus it flows nicely for me.
That part maybe could do with a rethink.
It's good.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1144385 - 09/01/18 02:12 PM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 875
9ne Offline
Top 500 Poster
9ne  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 875
N.E. of Toronto
I liked it. Vic's call on the transition is spot on. In the chorus if the background vocal isn't synced it just sounds....wrong. Instead of the bridge that's there I'd like to have heard one that started with: "Who knows where love goes"
Good stuff!
-Mike


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1144396 - 09/02/18 02:34 AM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 947
IronKnee Offline
Top 500 Poster
IronKnee  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 947
Hawaii
Man....I like this.
This sounds like something the Bee Gees would write. And your vocals seem to have that Bee Gees pointed sentiment, as well.....substantiating my point.
At first it "looked" to be very wordy....but, I am pleasantly surprised....the song flowed smooth and timelessly. I enjoyed this right up to the end.
Good stuff!!
-Tom

#1144405 - 09/02/18 09:48 AM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,396
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,396
Florida
Hey Dee Jay,

Great tune. Love the melodies you come up with. A few nits and suggestions.

First, the drums need to come up. After your piano and bass intro, you have a drum fill bringing in the band and then the drums really quiet down. I think it needs to maintain the volume of that intro fill. Hope that makes sense.

Second , the ransition to the chorus seems rushed, I think because vocally, the two syllable word (restless) is hard to fit in after singing the last word of the verse. A suggestion might be to have that first line of the chorus sung by a chorus of background singers, treating it like almost a call and answer kind of thing, with the lead vocal re-entering on 2d line and chorus of background singers coming back with “restless thoughts.” Hope all that makes sense.

Love love the stop after “unsung,”

Good stuff.

Dave

#1144440 - 09/04/18 02:31 PM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 102
mikegouthro Offline
Serious Contributor
mikegouthro  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 102
Hi Deej

That is very cool and strong. Your voice is compelling and unique. The piano provides great support. I particularly like the way the melody line rises. I agree with the Bee Gees comparison and maybe a little Badfinger. Very enjoyable.

#1144471 - 09/06/18 12:32 AM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 964
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 964
Dave R., Calvin, Vic, 9ne, Ironknee, Gocart, and Mike:

Thanks for stopping in and giving this a listen. It seems like the flow, pace and melody worked for all of you--production flaws aside--so that's good to hear at least. Your kind feedback and support is always appreciated.

Vic, 9ne and Dave:

You reveal in a common comment the value of JPF. It was always something I had to focus on while singing--that transition from the verse to the chorus--and yet it didn't occur to me that the transition would seem rushed to the listener. But, yeah, I hear it now.

Gocart (Dave): I'm not sure, without changes to the lyrics, that the "call and answer" approach would work. But, I think I can add a measure between the end of the verse and chorus. It will mean I have to tweak how I sing it (and redo this whole thing from scratch). But I ran through it on guitar (which is all I play) . . . and it just may help accentuate the chorus if I can figure it right. We'll see . . . but thanks to you, Vic and 9ne: I wouldn't have seen it without your input.

Dave: You are absolutely right on the drums. I totally need to revisit them. I dimmed them a bit because I wanted to tone down the high-hat--but that was a lazy response. I need to find a better drum fit. Thanks for calling me out on that.

Appreciate the comments, one and all. Your feedback helps me tremendously

The best to you all,

Deej

#1144476 - 09/06/18 09:40 AM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 498
Gavin Sinclair Offline
Top 500 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 498
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Really nice, Deej, lyrically, melodically and vocally. It captures a particular feeling and moment very well. Totally agree about the awkward and rushed transition to the chorus. I wonder if you might tackle it better by eliminating the last line of the verse, replacing...

how love comes to your heart
then disappears.

with...
when love leaves your heart
or...
when love slips from your heart

And then later...

and so, darling, can’t we please
just let this go.

with...
So please,can we just let this go?

Or something along those lines. That would allow space before the chorus and maybe make for a more comfortable transition. Just a thought.

Have you ever thought of getting a job in a Bee-Gees tribute band? I'd steer clear of the later falsetto stuff, both for your health and because it pulls off the near-impossible feat of simultaneously being brilliant and sucking. Seriously, I love the vocal, which fits the heartfelt lyric like a glove.

#1144511 - 09/07/18 10:36 PM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,473
niteshift Online content
Top 50 Poster
niteshift  Online Content
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,473
Sydney, Australia
Hey Deej,

That's a well written tune. The vocals especially have just the right intonation, and that feeling of longing.

I think this tune is in need of musical arrangement and production to bring it up to the level of songwriting and vocal delivery.

It's certainly a keeper and with a bit of work will be a fine sounding tune.

cheers, niteshift

#1144584 - 09/11/18 05:18 AM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,382
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,382
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Great song Deej
A slight stumble from the verse to the first word RESTLESS then it flowed well.
Perhaps as Vic may have infered a slower transit into the chirus might work better?
Good work
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1144746 - 09/16/18 11:54 PM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 964
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 964
Gavin, Niteshift and Travis,

Sorry for the delayed response, but thanks for giving this one a spin. I think the verdict is out on the need to space out the transition from verse to chorus. Need for find the time and energy to revisit this one. But really appreciate your thoughtful comments. Thanks a ton!

Gavin: I'm loathe to axe those last lines--but then I may not be the most unbiased person to make the call. Thing is, to me, those lines fit like hand in glove to the melody. So if I can solve the transition issue otherwise--e.g., by inserting a measure between the verse and chorus--I'm gonna give that a try first. But I really appreciate your thoughtful comments and suggestions. It's what this board is about!

Niteshift: Yeah, your comment is spot on, and quite frankly could apply to pretty much everything I've posted on this site. Musical arrangement and production are not my strong suits. But I'll keep at it (however hopeless it always seems to feel) Thanks for chiming in.

Travis: As noted above, yeah, that transition comes off rushed. Hope I can find a fix. Appreciate the listen.

The best to each of you,

Deej

#1144800 - 09/18/18 08:52 PM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,852
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
Top 30 Poster
Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,852
Wisconsin
Nice one, Deej. Very expressive vocal. The Bee Gees comparison is inevitable...when you've got it, you've got it. smile Yes on the extra measure needed between the verse and chorus. You can sustain the music over that space, easy as pie! smile

Ricki

#1144936 - 09/25/18 11:49 PM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 964
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 964
Hi, Ricki,

Thanks for giving this a listen. I'll admit, I'm not sure I get the Bee Gees comparison on the vocal--just don't hear it myself--but it's not the first time I've gotten that comment, so there it is! I've been playing with inserting that extra measure--thought it would be easy, but, nah, not really. It's almost like I need a half-measure (at most)--and I have no idea how to do that in BIAB. Well, I'll keep working it.

At any rate, appreciate the feedback and support. Thanks much!

Kind regards,

Deej

#1144961 - 09/26/18 06:32 PM Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 177
RainyDayMan Offline
Serious Contributor
RainyDayMan  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 177
Stratford, Australia
You've got something solid to work with here. And great job getting the emotion into the vocals.
Agree with other the comments on the transition into the chorus. In general, this is a song where the words are really important and need space to be heard.
I think pauses like the one in "Who knows (pause) where love goes" work better than rushing things.
I liked the strings coming into towards the end, and you might be able to use those earlier bringing them in and out with the dynamics.

It's a good song, and worth the effort to pursue. Maybe put in down for a week or two and come back refreshed?

#1145234 - 10/09/18 12:08 AM Re: Love Goes [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 964
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 964
Owen,

Thanks for the listen. Yeah, unanimous opinion on that transition—I will (and have) definitely set it aside for now. It’s not as easy a fix as I first thought (at least not in BIAB, where I’m still very much a newbie). I’ll hope to revisit sometime later.

All the best to you,

Deej


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
brendaesteplyrics, Bear30044, ChristianSongs, Watersrundeep81, Nelly_Tharwat
21186 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics118,862
Posts1,120,544
Members21,186
Average Posts Daily28
Most Online1,541
Feb 21st, 2019
Just Plain Quotes
"I have dreamed a lot of things that have come true for other people, because I didn't take the action to make them come true for me." –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Rob Bruce (49)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0