Dear John

Dear John #1143194 07/26/18 04:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto 9ne OP Top 500 Poster
OP 9ne Top 500 Poster Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto	New Version: "Dear John" Copyright 2018-M.Healey It seems so long since our first kiss Life takes a leap we take the hit We loved we lost it bit by bit And now it's come to this Dear John I don't think that I could face Lying to myself again today We deal in hurt-we deal in pain That's our problem why I say Dear John Dear John Dear John Dear John We both know the way this works What happens when the bubbles burst I can't imagine trying to hurt John it happened-in a word Dear John It's not like we never tried That's old news like tear filled eyes To find the good in this goodbye We both know will take some time Dear John Dear John Dear John Dear John Weary, blaming, choosing fault We walk on glass afraid to fall And unlike the best old break-up songs This one ain't a sing along That's gone Dear John Dear John Dear John Dear John Old Version: "Dear John" Copyright 2018-M.Healey It seems so long since our first kiss When life leaps we take the hit We loved we lost it bit by bit And now it's come to this Dear John I don't think that I could face Lying to myself again today We deal in hurt-we deal in pain That's our problem why I say Dear John Dear John Dear John Dear John We both know the way this works What happens when the bubbles burst I can't imagine trying to hurt John it happened-in a word Dear John It's not like we never tried That's old news like tear filled eyes To find the good in this goodbye We both know will take some time Dear John Dear John Dear John Dear John Tired like a barroom brawl Over, done, no need to stall Everything has been resolved No sin's left to be absolved We can move on Dear John Dear John Dear John Dear John I wish you all the best in life.... Last edited by 9ne; 08/23/18 10:04 AM.

Re: Dear John 9ne #1143277 07/28/18 10:28 AM
Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 Downers Grove IL beechnut79 Top 100 Poster
beechnut79 Top 100 Poster Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 Downers Grove IL	Is this a modern take on a classic country ballad of the same name which starts out: Dear John, oh how I hate to write? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMueKWzG0WE This is the original version of that song. A remake by Skeeter Davis and Bobby Bare came out in the late 1960s.

Re: Dear John 9ne #1143296 07/28/18 02:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto 9ne OP Top 500 Poster
OP 9ne Top 500 Poster Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto	I wasn't aware of that song Beech. I just write-hopefully something good. Thanks for reading! -Mike

Re: Dear John 9ne #1143393 07/30/18 10:27 PM
Joined: Dec 2016 Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 D Deej56 Top 200 Poster
Deej56 Top 200 Poster D Joined: Dec 2016 Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1	Mike, I like what you have going here. Tough to really help much without the melody because it could all work pretty well in the right sound, mix, etc. That said, not sure "Tired like a bar room brawl" really works in the context of the song; and I do think that last stanza could use some tweaking--it seems to quick a resolution (which "resolved' suggests) in light of the prior verse ("will take some time"). Again, tough to really know without the music, so take the above with a big grain of salt. All the best, Deej

Re: Dear John Deej56 #1143509 08/03/18 08:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto 9ne OP Top 500 Poster
OP 9ne Top 500 Poster Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto	I think you had a very valid reply Deej; thank you, I appreciate you reading! I agreed with you, and I wiped the last verse out with extreme prejudice, (the POWER!) I put a bridge there instead. The new version is below. Thanks again! -Mike "Dear John" Copyright 2018-M.Healey It seems so long since our first kiss Life takes a leap we take the hit We loved we lost it bit by bit And now it's come to this Dear John I don't think that I could face Lying to myself again today We deal in hurt-we deal in pain That's our problem why I say Dear John Dear John Dear John Dear John We both know the way this works What happens when the bubbles burst I can't imagine trying to hurt John it happened-in a word Dear John It's not like we never tried That's old news like tear filled eyes To find the good in this goodbye We both know will take some time Dear John Dear John Dear John Dear John Weary, blaming, choosing fault We walk on glass afraid to fall And unlike the best old break-up songs This one ain't a sing along That's gone Dear John Dear John Dear John Dear John

Re: Dear John 9ne #1144099 08/23/18 09:40 AM
Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 Kendal, Cumbria .UK T Travis david Top 10 Poster
Travis david Top 10 Poster T Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 Kendal, Cumbria .UK	I like your rewrite Mike why not post it above your initial posting? I stumbled over the nation ball verse the new write works better Cheers Travis We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

Re: Dear John Travis david #1144104 08/23/18 11:21 AM
Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto 9ne OP Top 500 Poster
OP 9ne Top 500 Poster Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto	Thanks for the reply Travis, I posted the new version in my initial post. See? I do listen to you! -Mike

Re: Dear John 9ne #1144106 08/23/18 11:43 AM
Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 Kendal, Cumbria .UK T Travis david Top 10 Poster
Travis david Top 10 Poster T Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 Kendal, Cumbria .UK	Lol We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

Re: Dear John 9ne #1144109 08/23/18 01:01 PM
Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 UK Vicarn Top 40 Poster
Vicarn Top 40 Poster Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 UK	I like the concept. No ambiguity here. Not sure how well this line works but it may iron out with the music: "John it happened-in a word". Good luck with it Vic It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now. If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me. http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2 http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

Re: Dear John 9ne #1144174 08/25/18 03:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto 9ne OP Top 500 Poster
OP 9ne Top 500 Poster Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto	Thanks so much Vic! I'm writing the music; it started with an A blues, but that wasn't popping so I went with an A minor blues and it worked. The 3 and 4 lines repeat the same chords but there's a pause between the Em and the Dm where that line works.Got the chorus music and now on to the Bridge! Thanks again! -Mike

Re: Dear John 9ne #1144366 09/01/18 09:54 AM
Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 4,909 Georgetown, ON,CANADA Neil Cotton Top 50 Poster
Neil Cotton Top 50 Poster Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 4,909 Georgetown, ON,CANADA	Good....nice use of near rhymes. http://www.myspace.com/neilcotton http://upickedcotton.tripod.com/neil

Re: Dear John 9ne #1144369 09/01/18 10:11 AM
Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto 9ne OP Top 500 Poster
OP 9ne Top 500 Poster Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto	Cotton's back in town! Hey Neil, thanks so much for commenting!

Re: Dear John 9ne #1144487 09/07/18 10:11 AM
Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 4,909 Georgetown, ON,CANADA Neil Cotton Top 50 Poster
Neil Cotton Top 50 Poster Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 4,909 Georgetown, ON,CANADA	ya , kinda cooled off on the forums and the like...writing less, I think I know by now what works...besides it just for me mostly. I am now the leader of our Rec. Centre band. Our Town is doing Cultural Days end of Sept. and the band is doing several of my songs about our town history and events. The band thinks the songs are good. That's all that matters. Georgetown Will Always Be Home Memorial Arena The Barber Dynamo The Ol' McGibby The Pole From His Seat On Our Town Bus. Footprints Worn In Wood When All Is Said and Done My Home Town (of course LOL) Light Up The Hills Canada The Amalgamation. Oh BTW, I released an album of my Tropical type tunes. Canadian Bakin' https://artists.cbcmusic.ca/artist/32054 http://www.myspace.com/neilcotton http://upickedcotton.tripod.com/neil

Re: Dear John Neil Cotton #1144489 09/07/18 10:55 AM
Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto 9ne OP Top 500 Poster
OP 9ne Top 500 Poster Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 N.E. of Toronto	Well done Neil!

Re: Dear John 9ne #1144644 09/14/18 06:51 AM
Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 4,909 Georgetown, ON,CANADA Neil Cotton Top 50 Poster
Neil Cotton Top 50 Poster Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 4,909 Georgetown, ON,CANADA	We're part of Canada wide https://culturedays.ca/en http://www.myspace.com/neilcotton http://upickedcotton.tripod.com/neil

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