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Hello all. I seem to be in a less rock 'n roll and more of a soulful, jazzy pop kick lately. I just finished recording this. Wrote it a week ago. I still haven't added any backup vocals. It seems that is always the last thing I think about in my writes and productions and always the hardest for me to come up with anything good. Any ideas you may have on that, as well as other thoughts are always appreciated.

LOVE WALKED BACK THROUGH THE DOOR
(c)2018 David S. Becker Music

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/love-walked-back-through-the-door

INTRO
VERSE 1
She said she was leaving
And that it was over
I watched her as she walked out that door
It scared me sober

VERSE 2
Six months later I walked out of rehab
I phoned in a table for two
I sat alone at that table all night
There's nothing I can do

CHORUS
Cause love doesn't live here no more
My love walked out my own front door
I'm serving/doing time for the sins in my past
Love doesn't live here no more

VERSE 3
I phoned up my children
And I left them a message
"Please call back I need to be in your lives"
"I need to fix this wreckage"

CHORUS
BRIDGE
(Stop)
It's a never ending battle I wage
(Think)
Every time I turn the page
(Remember)
I can lose everything that I love
Over and over again

SOLO
VERSE 4
Three years sober
Three chips I proudly embrace
I met an angel who has captured my heart
My children share her face

CHORUS 2 x 2
Cause love walked back through the door
I spend each day with a girl I adore
I served/did my time I remember my past
I pray that this time love will last (x3)

Hi Dave.
I don't feel qualified to comment on this, musically as I've never been a fan of the style.
However, I have observations:

1. Verse two doesn't show why he sat alone at the table. Did he walk out of rehab because he was discharged or voluntarily?
2. Verse three seems unnecessary. It also shows him to be weak in the fact that he's involving his kids.

Does what I say make sense?

Vic

Hey Vic,

Thanks for giving this a listen. I can only answer your questions based on what was on my mind when I wrote it, but as always, it is open to interpretation ...

1. The simple answer is he got stood up. I wanted to create the implication that he completed his rehab and was trying to reconstruct his life, by making a date with his wife, so to speak.

2. I definitely understood what you are saying. It makes total sense. But (there’s always a but). The person in this story IS weak. I think often addiction exposes those weaknesses. I agree involving children sucks. But I also think addiction often does.

Anyway, those are the explanations as best I can state. A downer I know. My intent though was to end it on a happy note.

Thanks, as always, for your thoughts.

Dave

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hello Dave,


Always good to see you pop in here with another musical treat.
Nice job.
I liked it all but I thought this part was pretty special.

I met an angel who has captured my heart
My children share her face



Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Dave, this song is only a week old so maybe after you live with it for a while you'll be able to decide what it needs. Musically, I like the feel of it and adding some harmonies in the chorus would work well. But I don't think it's there yet lyrically.

Given the title, it doesn't want to have a happy ending so, either change that or let him wallow, go through re-hab and then come out a better man but a lonely one. You may be able to go so far as to have him say he's going to work at getting his family back because he doesn't want to live without their love but you can't give it to him in this song because...Love doesn't live here no more.

I'd also ditch the bridge. It feels unfocused..."gravitational pull?" Maybe a sweet musical interlude would work there?

Anyway, just some thoughts. Hope you decide to keep working on it as I think it's a great start.

Ricki

Really nice jazz chords throughout. The energy is infectious. I agree with Ricki's comments about the bridge. The solo serves well to change up the feel. And nice work on the vocal.

Nearly the title of an old Rose Royce soulful ballad from way back.
I enjoyed your song Dave but think the bridge needs a rethink especially the" gravitational pull" line which seems a mouthful and doesn't quite work for me.
Love the melody!
Travus

@Calvin, Ricki, Mike and Travis - Thx much for the comments. I made some changes in response to some of the comments. Ricki, I had the same exact thought before posting this. A happy ending means Love Does Live Here. At first, I thought well I like Love Don't Live Here more as a title. Travis, I was also aware of the Rose Royce song, thus the subtle difference in title (though you really can't copyright a title anyway). In the end, I thought it was more appropriate to change the title to "Love Walked Back Through The Door.{ So that is the current title.

I also agree with most of the thoughts on the bridge. "Gravitational pul" I knew aaa kind of out there. It is gone. I didn't want to lose the bridge altogether though, but musically it wasn't working for me. I changed up the lyric and structure a bit. Additionally, I sang it different. Initially it was sung softly. I decided to sing it stronger with some call and response backup vocals. The lyric at the bridge is nowL

(Stop)
It's a never ending battle I wage
(Think)
Every time I turn the page
(Remember)
You can lose everything that you love
Over and over again

Anyway, ... here is the new file. I deleted the old one. Still kind of a wip, especially with me thinking about backup vocals.

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/love-walked-back-through-the-door

Very Steely Danish.

Musically you got some cool things going on, and a credit to you to be able to compose in this style. Good recording and production.

I think the lyric is wrong for this. it's sophisticated music but a pedestrian story line. Love doesn't live here no more is cliche by now.

But mainly cause the music doesn't support the emotion of the lyric. The music supports a happy vibe...."love has moved in here once more"

I also thought the chorus since it was staying with the same chord, didn't discern itself from the verse, where u want an obvious push into the chorus.

Depends what the goal is. If the goal was to have fun experimenting with this style, I'd say you achieved that, and the sound and vocals are quality as per usual.

Dave,

I think you’ve gotten some great feedback and suggestions above, particularly on fine tuning the lyrics a bit, and you’ve already made some nice adjustments—so I don’t have much more to offer. Compliments on getting that jazzy rock sound out of BIAB—it sounds pretty good to my ears. Once you figure out the backup vocals you’ll really have something going on here. Keep working it!

Regards,

Deej

@Fdem ... thx for the critique. Well when I first started writing this, I played the first 2 verses for my wife. Like you, she said the lyrics don't fit the music. She said, you are going to have a happy ending right? She told me that is the only possible way it could work. As such, what was going to be a very sad ending, as is my usual course, became a happy one. Unfortunately, apparently that didn't solve the problem!

While the style is different for me, it wasn't my goal to experiment with a new style, but as always, to write the best song possible, I will keep working on it. Since I have never had any realistic expectation of someone picking up my work, I don't know that I ever consider anything I write done.

Thanks, as always. Always appreciate the honesty.

Dave

Well as composer of your own stuff and producer of your own stuff, your options are your song goes viral online, or gets on tv or movies.

Or playing live.

So it is basically about doing the best thing you can do. What else is there?

I think the song is quite groovy, man.

A touching story and some cool axe work and some smoking keys.

Saving harmonies for last can be like the icing on the cake. (looking forward to them)

One of our collaborators once suggested that a poignant song can work better with what appears to be a more uplifting arrangement as the listener is more likely to stay engaged.

I think that fits this write and the production.

Beyond that we agree with Nelson's comments.

All of this song writing/production stuff is a journey not a destination. That's why at some point we just have to stick a fork in it and move on. At least I tell myself that...or I'd still be tweaking five year old productions

Enjoyed it!

J&B

Nice do-over, Dave. Now it all fits together and still has that cool, jazzy feel.

Ricki

The verse lines do not match (re Syllables ) How can it be memorable ??

So this Alcoholic turned things around and had three years sober

He meets someone else and all is well


Is that it ??????????


It needs more that that surely, ? Who would sing it ?? Its all about nothing


Great songs if thats what you are aiming at, have to be different surely


We dont want the obvious


Paint Pictures using lines that are original , sorry it needs work lots

of work Then we get to the emotion of your melody, do you

think it matches, as it is


Changing The Title line At The End because your story line changes is also too

completely different Emotions , and No melody Is going to suit both Sticking with the same

Chorus is the norm, can you see that ???

@DJ ... thx for the listen and comments. Much appreciated.

@Nelson ... Always appreciate your thoughts. Thx much.

@J&B ... Thx as well for the listen and comments. Definitely a journey for sure.

@Ricki ... thx much for the second go around. Always appreciated.

@Cheyenne ... you are way too kind. I think my song sucks even more than you can possibly imagine! In answer to your question, I can’t possibly think of anybody but me wanting to sing this garbage. Thank you so much for stopping by.

By the way, you Asked:

"So this Alcoholic turned things around and had three years sober
He meets someone else and all is well
Is that it ?????????? "

Answer: It is kind of it. Except, he didn't meet somebody else. He rekindled the relationship with the wife that walked out on him to begin with. I guess that still is a pretty mundane story. Except for the alcoholic whose wife left him, that is.

The message of this song brings to my mind a real life episode from another genre of music. Country legend George Jones was also a legendary drunk, and his drinking spoiled his storybook marriage to Tammy Wynette. But later on he to met an angel by the name of Nancy who saved him. Then love walked back through his door as well.

@ Beechnut ... Familiar with the George Jones story. What a great voice he had. I think there are probably many that share this story.

Thx for chiming in

Dave