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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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We can manage to put on a strong front during the daylight hours....but then comes the night. http://frettie.com/track_detail/2089
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Marvin,
Really strong tune--I think my favorite from you. Like the melody in the verses, nice subtle hooks in the sound (that slight rise in next to last syllable is sweet). Great reveal on the bridge--tons of emotion. Better than most anything I heard on country radio (back when I occasionally listened to it)--that is, I'm not a big country fan, but this is pretty killer. You will do well with this one.
Humble regards,
Deej
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Deej,
Thanks for listening and for the great critique. I hope you are right pal!
Best, Marvin
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Had me near to tears, Marvin. Beautiful sad song.
Ricki
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Deej put it all very nicely. We love this period of country music so this is square in our wheelhouse. I would think given the current market that a more Americana rootsy production of this write would serve you well. We have been fortunate to license several Americana style songs that would have worked out well as either classic country or Americana; however, but I feel that they would've been ignored had they been more country. We did not write or produce them to pitch -- we just got lucky with the increasing interest in Americana. All with a boatload of salt grains. Enjoyed it! Bud
Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?" on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
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Thanks Ricki and Bud. I had not considered an Americana production for this song, but you may be right given the state of the current country market.
Marvin
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Wonderful song. I think everyone will understand that feeling "Then comes the night". You can't hide from yourself, and everything amplifies in the darkness alone. I love the way you ended it too. Brilliant stuff.
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Thanks for your thoughts. I have ended a few of my songs by repeating the opening line. To me it is a way of showing how the same line can express even more emotion once you have heard the story. Thanks again for listening!
Marvin
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Marvin
That is a fine lyric that feels real from beginning to end. And the chorus and turn-around deliver big time. Your song sounds like a country hit to me.
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Mike,
Thanks for listening and for the nice comments. It's just to bad country does not support this kind of song at the present time.
Marvin
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Hello Marvin, Big Quality here ! Thanks for sharing what you do. Have a good evening. ps.........................................................sounds like a hit ! Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hey Calvin,
Thanks for listening pal. I appreciate your comments!
Marvin
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hi Marvin...this is a great country demo. it does everything it should...it goes UP in the chorus and even higher in the bridge. Vocal, melody...all there. I am no expert but I do have some firsthand experience in Nashville. I would say the weak spot is the lyric. It needs a little more color in the vss. and think about the "reveal" in the bridge. How would you "Take it like a man" that she's dead? How would a female listener relate to that? How would a widow "take it like a man"? That line doesn't fit the reveal.
I'm by no means one of those guys who's terrified of offending women and whose writing reflects that. that line just doesn't fit. Even the lesser pubs in Nashville have hundreds of cds on their desk and email in-boxes full of mp3s to play. Outsiders must have all their ducks in a row for their songs to last more than a minute in that town. all the demos there have choruses that go up. we've gotta be better.
again, I'm-no-expert. it's a great demo. it just needs a little more.
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Hi Marvin The chorus is a Knock Out But the verse lets it down its slow and boring
You could keep the tempo of the verses but you need more words and a better melody
The Lyrics of the verse need much more of a story
Excellent Chorus Boring Verses , sorry if that sounds blunt , but thats how it comes across
One of the most important principles of songwriting is to remember that a good song is a partnership of many different components, all working together to produce a satisfying musical experience.
In that respect, song components are either enhancing or compromising their combined effects.
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Thanks Couchgrough and Cheyenne for your thoughts. I appreciate them !
Marvin
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