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#1142612 - 07/07/18 07:19 PM An Innocent Man  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
RainyDayMan Offline
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RainyDayMan  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
Stratford, Australia


Something dark and grungy for a change! The vocals aren't up to par on this one, but hopefully you'll hear how it is meant to sound
Credit to Alan for the lyric that inspired this one.


An Innocent Man
2018 Alan Evans / Owen Hovenden

Link to music

V1:
Been a long, long time coming
And I just feel so sad
as I take, these final footsteps
to end the life I never had

V2:
laying in that cold hard cell
watching the years go by
seen a lot of men come and go
now it's my turn to die

V3:
I go to meet my maker
knowing that he'll understand
no sweet song they got it oh so wrong
I am an innocent man

Chorus:
An innocent man, an innocent ma-a-an
He'll know I am, an innocent man
An innocent man, an innocent ma-a-an
He'll know I am, an innocent man

V4:
I look at all those faces
think about the price I'm gonna pay
someone really got it all wrong
but I'm going home today

V5:
a better place is waiting
Give me peace, set me free
a telephone rings frantically
but it's too late for me

CHORUS x 2

#1142616 - 07/07/18 09:54 PM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,980
floyd jane Offline
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floyd jane  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,980
Tampa
Owen & Alan,

A heavy lyric, well penned and appropriately heavy music to carry it.

A truly interesting listen. Enjoyed it.

fj

#1142623 - 07/08/18 03:43 AM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,611
Calvin Online content
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Calvin  Online Content
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,611
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello Owen,


Cool vibe, good performance.
I liked it all but this was REAL COOL........

to end the life I never had


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1142627 - 07/08/18 08:00 AM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,833
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,833
UK
I like the song overall, Owen.
Music and vocal seems too separate. Like they are in different rooms.
You could try bringing up the music volume a tad with a little less reverb if you were so inclined.
Shows promise.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2
#1142641 - 07/08/18 03:50 PM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,837
Dave Rice Online content
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Dave Rice  Online Content
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,837
Texas
Hi Owen:

Over the years, I've found that Vic is honest to the core. The song has promise but the performance and melody need work. Please, never take my advice as being mean spirited or snarky. If it helps, I've never created a perfect song either... and I've been trying for years.

Vic, on the other hand, is one of the most talented guys at JPF. Both of us want you to flourish and succeed.

All the best, ----Dave

#1142644 - 07/08/18 07:29 PM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
RainyDayMan Offline
Serious Contributor
RainyDayMan  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
Stratford, Australia
Thanks everyone for the feedback, I appreciate it!

@Floyd I'm glad you found it interesting. Something a bit different.

@Calvin I'll make sure I pass that on to Alan, he'll be pleased.

@Vic Thanks for the very specific advice. Happy to get constructive criticism. I actually think the vocal needs replacement. My skills don't do this one justice. If that happens, I'll follow your guidance on the mix. I probably won't invest much time on this version however.

@Dave No problem! Thanks for the honesty. The performance definitely needs work! Are there particular spots in the melody that you can point out?

#1142645 - 07/08/18 11:18 PM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,837
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,837
Texas
Hi Owen:

It would be bad form for me to suggest changes to your song... and that of your co-writer. I only meant to bolster the message of our honest and talented friend, Vic. I have no doubt that you will find all the elements needed to turn this into something wonderful. It has that potential.

Regards, ----Dave

#1142675 - 07/09/18 08:27 PM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,196
Douglas Murphy Offline
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Douglas Murphy  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,196
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Coming together and you were right the feel comes across in the mix. Interesting story as well.

Douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
#1142685 - 07/09/18 11:06 PM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
RainyDayMan Offline
Serious Contributor
RainyDayMan  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
Stratford, Australia
Thanks Dave and Douglas!

#1142688 - 07/10/18 12:40 AM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,068
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,068
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Owen
Good song but it seemed a little distant and perhaps the music needs adjusting up a notch or two?
Quite a contrast to the usual postings on here which is good
also
Regards
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1142689 - 07/10/18 02:18 AM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
RainyDayMan Offline
Serious Contributor
RainyDayMan  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
Stratford, Australia
Thanks for the feedback, Travis. I'll look into that!

#1142891 - 07/16/18 10:54 AM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,519
Janice_and_Bud Offline
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Janice_and_Bud  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,519
Southeastern USA
We like this. The lyric (well written) and vocal delivery are reminiscent of some of the darker folk songs from waaaay back.

But the somewhat ominous and effective backing brings it more to the present.

Enjoyed it.

J&B


Check out our album Janice Merritt "All Over The Map"
on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora and others.
#1142897 - 07/16/18 04:35 PM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 102
mikegouthro Offline
Serious Contributor
mikegouthro  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 102
Really cool song. I like the slinky swampy groove, and the guitar sound anchors it so well. I think that lyric and the music make it a natural for a soundtrack song.

#1142898 - 07/16/18 06:18 PM Re: An Innocent Man [Re: RainyDayMan]  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
RainyDayMan Offline
Serious Contributor
RainyDayMan  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 153
Stratford, Australia
Thank you Janice & Bud!

Thank you Mike. I hadn't considered it for a soundtrack. Interesting take! smile


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