Something dark and grungy for a change! The vocals aren't up to par on this one, but hopefully you'll hear how it is meant to sound
Credit to Alan for the lyric that inspired this one.


An Innocent Man
© 2018 Alan Evans / Owen Hovenden

Link to music

V1:
Been a long, long time coming
And I just feel so sad
as I take, these final footsteps
to end the life I never had

V2:
laying in that cold hard cell
watching the years go by
seen a lot of men come and go
now it's my turn to die

V3:
I go to meet my maker
knowing that he'll understand
no sweet song they got it oh so wrong
I am an innocent man

Chorus:
An innocent man, an innocent ma-a-an
He'll know I am, an innocent man
An innocent man, an innocent ma-a-an
He'll know I am, an innocent man

V4:
I look at all those faces
think about the price I'm gonna pay
someone really got it all wrong
but I'm going home today

V5:
a better place is waiting
Give me peace, set me free
a telephone rings frantically
but it's too late for me

CHORUS x 2

Owen & Alan,

A heavy lyric, well penned and appropriately heavy music to carry it.

A truly interesting listen. Enjoyed it.

fj

Hello Owen,


Cool vibe, good performance.
I liked it all but this was REAL COOL........

to end the life I never had


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

I like the song overall, Owen.
Music and vocal seems too separate. Like they are in different rooms.
You could try bringing up the music volume a tad with a little less reverb if you were so inclined.
Shows promise.

Vic

Hi Owen:

Over the years, I've found that Vic is honest to the core. The song has promise but the performance and melody need work. Please, never take my advice as being mean spirited or snarky. If it helps, I've never created a perfect song either... and I've been trying for years.

Vic, on the other hand, is one of the most talented guys at JPF. Both of us want you to flourish and succeed.

All the best, ----Dave

Thanks everyone for the feedback, I appreciate it!

@Floyd I'm glad you found it interesting. Something a bit different.

@Calvin I'll make sure I pass that on to Alan, he'll be pleased.

@Vic Thanks for the very specific advice. Happy to get constructive criticism. I actually think the vocal needs replacement. My skills don't do this one justice. If that happens, I'll follow your guidance on the mix. I probably won't invest much time on this version however.

@Dave No problem! Thanks for the honesty. The performance definitely needs work! Are there particular spots in the melody that you can point out?

Hi Owen:

It would be bad form for me to suggest changes to your song... and that of your co-writer. I only meant to bolster the message of our honest and talented friend, Vic. I have no doubt that you will find all the elements needed to turn this into something wonderful. It has that potential.

Regards, ----Dave

Coming together and you were right the feel comes across in the mix. Interesting story as well.

Douglas

Thanks Dave and Douglas!

Hi Owen
Good song but it seemed a little distant and perhaps the music needs adjusting up a notch or two?
Quite a contrast to the usual postings on here which is good
also
Regards
Travis

Thanks for the feedback, Travis. I'll look into that!

We like this. The lyric (well written) and vocal delivery are reminiscent of some of the darker folk songs from waaaay back.

But the somewhat ominous and effective backing brings it more to the present.

Enjoyed it.

J&B

Really cool song. I like the slinky swampy groove, and the guitar sound anchors it so well. I think that lyric and the music make it a natural for a soundtrack song.

Thank you Janice & Bud!

Thank you Mike. I hadn't considered it for a soundtrack. Interesting take!