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#1141550 - 06/07/18 12:21 PM Homesick  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Michael LeBlanc  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Louisiana
Homesick

When she walked out the door
And left me here all alone
She took away everything
That made this house a home

I hope it's a passing thing
And she'll come to realize
That her hot new fling
Don't burn like me inside

Maybe she'll think twice
And admit she made a mistake
Soon as he turns to ice
And her heart begins to break

Perhaps a little memory
Will make her see the light
And maybe she'll think of me
And turn her wrongs into rights

I hope she gets homesick
And wants the life she left behind
I hope she gets homesick
And gets some sense back in her mind
Oh i hope it's quick
This heartache i can't kick
I hope she gets homesick

I know she liked the way
she fixed up every room
Along the garden pathway
Her flowers how they bloom

It's hard to understand
Why she'd leave this all behind
All for another man
Who i know is not her kind

I'll try to do my best
To make it look like love lives here
But she puts me to the test
Another night another tear

But the light stays on
In case she comes to call
And with my loving arms
I'll catch her when she falls

I hope she gets homesick
And wants the life she left behind
I hope she gets homesick
And gets some sense back in her mind
Oh i hope it's quick
This heartache i can't kick
I hope she gets homesick

Yeah i hope she gets homesick

#1141600 - 06/08/18 02:52 PM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,470
Lisa Gundling Offline
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Lisa Gundling  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,470
Hey Michael,

Clever! I really like how you turned someone being homesick into something good, and how you wove the house is not a home thing in there as well!

I'm not crazy about "And gets some sense back in her mind." I know he's feeling like she should come to her senses, or she's lost her senses, but the way that sentence is worded ... I don't know ... it just made me pause for some reason!

Lisa

#1141607 - 06/08/18 04:33 PM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Michael LeBlanc  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Louisiana
Thank ya,Lisa.I see you lost your senses too,what else could he think?Appreciate the drop by and thoughts. Mike

#1141608 - 06/08/18 04:54 PM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,470
Lisa Gundling Offline
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Lisa Gundling  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,470
Hey Mike -- well, I agree that he would think that, but it sounds out of character with the rest of the lyric! It gives a different tone! -- Lisa

#1141633 - 06/09/18 05:50 AM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,454
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,454
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Quite poetic Mike
Good well paced lyric.The makings of a great song
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1141635 - 06/09/18 09:00 AM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,052
Vicarn Offline
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Vicarn  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,052
UK
Hi Mike
You know I love your lyrics but to me this guy comes across a little arrogant.
Seems he's saying she's all in the wrong and he's all in the right, which may or may not be true but there is an arrogance there.

Please don't hate me. It's only my opinion. :-)

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1141714 - 06/11/18 10:26 AM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Michael LeBlanc Offline
Top 10 Poster
Michael LeBlanc  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Louisiana
thanks again,Lisa.When you're losing your love,you say lots of crazy stuff and i thought he was really holding back a lot. Mike

#1141715 - 06/11/18 10:27 AM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Michael LeBlanc Offline
Top 10 Poster
Michael LeBlanc  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Louisiana
thank ya Travis.It's a start,i guess.Mike

#1141716 - 06/11/18 10:30 AM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Michael LeBlanc Offline
Top 10 Poster
Michael LeBlanc  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Louisiana
Aw Vic,i could never hold anything against you for not liking a lyric,i respect your thoughts.It may come off a little arrogant but the guy did lose his wife who he thought was living the life she wanted.I thought he let her off pretty easy as you know i could write an arrogant lyric that would make David Allen Coe blush.Thanks for your time,Vic. Mike

#1141735 - 06/11/18 10:36 PM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 12
Deacon Offline
Casual Observer
Deacon  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: May 2018
Posts: 12
East Tennessee
Hello Michael,

Thank you for sharing this lyric. It is well written and tells a pretty sad story, I kinda feel sorry for the guy. I wonder though if you would be able to pitch this to an artist, publisher, or label? Just too sad for that I think. I wonder if you might approach this from a different perspective using the first eight lines to set the stage, then twist the story, possibly with the guy doing some crazy fun things to finally get her off his mind. Just a thought. Good luck and best wishes,


Speak soon

#1141763 - 06/12/18 04:57 PM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Michael LeBlanc Offline
Top 10 Poster
Michael LeBlanc  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,292
Louisiana
i agree the 4th verse needs a rewrite and make it about "us",not me,for starters.And the "senses" line in the chorus is an easy fix also,i'll get to that.I'll work on that.Thanks y'all.I don't pitch songs,Deacon,other than on this site.And i surely do't write for hits.I appreciate your visit and thoughts. Mike

#1141786 - 06/13/18 11:05 AM Re: Homesick [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,492
beechnut79 Offline
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beechnut79  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,492
Villa Park IL
You sure did get lots of comments on this one. Funny thing is that just recently I began to think a lot about a lost love from the summer of 1981. Planning to write a song about it, one 37 years in the making. Will probably be on this board before too long.


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