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Perfectpitch
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#1141051 - 05/25/18 10:50 AM Race to the Bottom  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,407
beechnut79 Offline
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beechnut79  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,407
Villa Park IL
See if you think this in one for our times to be sure, although the idea was conceived long before it got on paper and before Trump became President.


RACE TO THE BOTTOM

c2018 Brian Beecher


Welfare as we know it has come to an end
The government has no more money to spend
Folks seem too afraid to speak out much these days
While the wars that we fight seem to never end

Once we were told we’d have days in the sun
Relaxed when it comes to getting work done
Tension takes over, all the while we’re told
Let it challenge you to get goals
While so many of us look down a black hole
We’re in a race to the bottom

The things that restore harmony
Are now considered bad by the powers that be
Told one day we will be fulfilling our
Greatest visions and sense of purpose

Let the energy you run on be fumes
Signs say work harder or else we are doomed
Told that the robots will take over soon
We’re in a race to the bottom

Unconditional love means nothing no more
Make one mistake you could be shown the door
Feeling deeply won’t save you from what lies in store
You may be sound in body but in spirit you’re poor

And as the darkness beckons you can’t tell truth from lies
Those hidden places may contain a surprise
That you’d rather not see right before your eyes
We’re in a race to the bottom

Many of us may notice a little jolt
In the wiring of our world
With renewed mental energy and desire to
Move ideas into action let voices be heard

Go forward with courage into the night
Carry the message till we see the light
Only then will we see any relief in sight
We’re in a race to the bottom

#1142174 - 06/22/18 07:55 PM Re: Race to the Bottom [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 530
Moosesong Offline
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Moosesong  Offline
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Posts: 530
Vacaville, CA, USA
I like this a lot. I don't know if your old enough to remember 'eve of destruction'. it feels a bit like that.


David Hunkins
Music page
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=707030

There is only one "best", the best you can.
#1142184 - 06/23/18 05:43 AM Re: Race to the Bottom [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,744
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Posts: 5,744
UK
Some good lines here, Brian.
A few of the lines seem out, but you can fix that.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.
http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold
#1142981 - 07/19/18 11:54 AM Re: Race to the Bottom [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Apr 2009
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beechnut79 Offline
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beechnut79  Offline
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Villa Park IL
Yes I do remember "Eve of Destruction" and sadly much of that song's message is still relevant over half a century later. See if you feel the same way about this particular song as well.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5znh58WITU8

#1142989 - 07/19/18 12:40 PM Re: Race to the Bottom [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 321
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Posts: 321
Conover, North Carolina, USA
I like the theme, but do you think it's maybe a bit too wordy? Trying to say too much, cover too much ground? It's hard to keep the listener's attention for that long, especially without a chorus to break it up.

Just a thought.

#1143272 - 07/28/18 10:19 AM Re: Race to the Bottom [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Apr 2009
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beechnut79 Offline
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beechnut79  Offline
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Posts: 3,407
Villa Park IL
Many topical songs are written and sun in phrases with no chorus. This is but one of many. "Eve of Destruction" was a classic example.


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