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#1139782 - 04/15/18 08:36 PM A Book by Marty  
Joined: Aug 2007
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Martin Lide Offline
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Martin Lide  Offline
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Houston, Texas
I've been writing a book and I found out and confirmed a couple of things.
I was gonna wait until I had several rejections from agents to post it, but it seems that it needs to be finished to be rejected.
And,
If it were finished it would have the same prospects for getting published as any of my songs. (-1)

I've completed two chapters if anyone is interested in taking a look. I plan to finish because I enjoy writing but I have no time frame for this.
I've also decided to write a book with inputted opinions from my bartender/therapist over the summer. We have a mutual disdain for something.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/13461...ok&utm_content=share_myworks_details

This book grew out of some songs that I've posted here. It's called "One Night Stole Forever."

Marty

#1139836 - 04/17/18 08:50 AM Re: A Book by Marty [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Dave Rice Online content
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Hi Martin:

I noticed your post, clicked on the link and was introduced to WattPad and your book information. I'm letting you know the links work and I'm always curious about how this project is going. (I'm considering a trip down a similar path in the not-to-distant future.) My novel would not include music but I can't help believing this (your book with music for each chapter) may be a great idea.

Best wishes for success, ----Dave

#1139871 - 04/19/18 01:55 AM Re: A Book by Marty [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Fdemetrio Online content
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The boss has already recently done this. He wrote his auto biography, with a audio bit as a campanion to the book, called chapter and verse, along with the book born to run, fantastic read, and listen, the guy can write. I found I related to many things in his early life as much as I had his music.

Books are tough, it's just like trying to make music without any fan base, it's hard to make people care about your life when you are not known.

But, many people are interesting if given a chance, good luck with the book.


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 04/19/18 01:56 AM.
#1139876 - 04/19/18 07:17 AM Re: A Book by Marty [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Martin,

I took a quick look at the first chapter. Frankly, you need an editor or ghostwriter to tidy up the spelling, grammar and writing.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


#1140009 - 04/21/18 09:31 PM Re: A Book by Marty [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Martin Lide Offline
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Martin Lide  Offline
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Dave,
Good luck with your endeavor.

FD
"Books are tough, it's just like trying to make music without any fan base, it's hard to make people care about your life when you are not known."

Fact.

Ps...this book is not autobiographical.



Colin,
Did not realize or think that. Not interested in a ghost writer. Writing is a form of therapy for me. At this point, I have no illusions that it is going anywhere. But will continue plodding along because I enjoy writing...badly such as it is.

PS... I will let the people at Microsoft know that spell check is not working in their word program.

#1140094 - 04/22/18 10:45 PM Re: A Book by Marty [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Fdemetrio Online content
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Marty when I read your comment, " I've also decided to write a book with inputted opinions from my bartender/therapist over the summer. We have a mutual disdain for something."

I had assumed it was at least partially auto-biographical.

I agree with Colin, it's not the spelling so much as it is the run on sentences. You can get away with that in songs but not in printed word.

Have to sound conversational yet organized.

Keep or sweep.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 04/22/18 10:51 PM.
#1140132 - 04/23/18 09:58 AM Re: A Book by Marty [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Martin Lide Offline
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FD

I appreciate your feedback. Sincerely.

Two things though...

1. I have had a couple of well-read beta readers looks at it with an eye towards grammar and then spelling and this is the first concern that has been expressed for run-on sentences. If you have time, please site an example or two.

Except for something very occasional that was not misspelled but not the right word, spelling seemed a non-issue.

2. It's a fictional romance novel. People and particularly younger people live their lives amidst run-on sentences. If there are some, I'm not sure that is an objectionable thing for my writing. Not sure that it isn't. If it was non-fiction and/or instructional, I would be certain that any run-on sentences should be corrected.

Nonetheless, thanks for offering something that could be looked at and possibly learned from.
I am not through writing and appreciate the help.

Martin




#1140147 - 04/23/18 02:58 PM Re: A Book by Marty [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Fdemetrio Online content
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The page wont let me copy and paste it all so it would be hard to show u what i mean.

But the first line "Jenny's eyes opened slowly until about three quarters wide"

"Dawn was about less than an hour old and its dim light was reaching into the room through a partially curtained single window"

No commas, semi colons etc.

I mean I'm not an english major my Niece is, but that's not smooth writing. 99% of us speak incorrect grammar, but it just seems too loose.

Long sentences that try to say too much, just my opinion.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 04/23/18 03:01 PM.
#1140152 - 04/23/18 05:29 PM Re: A Book by Marty [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Martin Lide Offline
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Martin Lide  Offline
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Houston, Texas
Actual quote

"Jenny's eyes opened slowly until about three-quarters wide. Dawn was less than an hour old, and its dim light was reaching into the room through a partially curtained single window."

Fd

I could have or maybe should have hyphenated 3/4's.
I should have added a comma after old.
I may have made up the verb curtained but I like it. wink (Looked it up. It is the past participle.)

Sentence #1 seems fine.
Sentence #2 needs and comma before the conjunction but I see no need to break it up and don't personally consider it a run-on.
Are you sure that it is? (sincere question)

It's long, but I wanted to complete the feeling that the light in the room might evoke.
Even though you could break it in two and it would be fine.


https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/grammar/runonsentences
scroll down to correcting run-on sentences

Martin

Ask you niece?

#1140153 - 04/23/18 05:38 PM Re: A Book by Marty [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Fdemetrio Online content
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No, I said i couldnt copy and paste. I find the whole thing kind of stringy and untight.

I guess there should be room for style in there too.

Maybe it's me.

#1140158 - 04/23/18 08:49 PM Re: A Book by Marty [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Martin Lide Offline
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Martin Lide  Offline
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Houston, Texas
Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
No, I said i couldnt copy and paste. I find the whole thing kind of stringy and untight.

I guess there should be room for style in there too.

Maybe it's me.



You are entitled to your opinion and it seems sincere. Thanks for your honesty, feedback and the discourse.

Martin


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