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#1138999 - 03/24/18 12:43 PM Lonely Room  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Wisconsin
Happy Saturday JPFers all over the world. This is a lyric written by the lovely Mike LeBlanc. As with most of his lyrics that grab me, the music came almost right away. If you have any ideas about future production, or in general how to improve on the song, we're listening. Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend.

Ricki

https://soundcloud.com/rickib/lonely-room


LONELY ROOM

You plant roses in my heart but it doesn’t matter
Cause then you leave all the thorns that claw and tatter
And the rains only nourish the sorrow that blooms
Day after day after day in my lonely room

You paint rainbows in the sky so beautifully formed
Then you’re gone and I can’t weather the coming storm
Constant lightning flashes, the rolling thunder booms
Rattles my, rattles my heart in my lonely room

In my lonely room
It’s never easy
You come and go and it scares me
In my lonely room
Too much time alone
Wondering why I stay when you’re gone
In my lonely room

Whatever this is it’s like a puzzle in the dark
A piece goes missing, the one leading to your heart
If you’re cheating at this game won’t you please come clean soon
I’m thinking and thinking too much in my lonely room

In my lonely room
It’s never easy
You come and go and it scares me
In my lonely room
Too much time alone
Wondering why I stay when you’re gone
In my lonely room

©Mike LeBlanc and Ricki E. Bellos

#1139000 - 03/24/18 01:48 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Dave Rice Online content
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Texas
Hi Ricki and Mike:

Really enjoyed my listen... although I never thought of Mike as being "lovely"... LOL! Your "trial balloon" has all the elements of a great song with a serious "blues vibe." I appreciate the words and the melody... and, being naturally curious... wonder how it would sound with more instrumentation? No need to hurry 'cause only two opinions matter about this song... Ricki and Mike! Kudos and curtain calls for this very special recording. ----Dave

#1139002 - 03/24/18 02:12 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki & Mike...

Exceptional lyric.

I like what your have done with this, Ricki. The repeats at the end of line 3 is a nice touch. The use of background- style vocals for the "In my lonely room" lines in the chorus works really well.

A nice guitar/vocal recording. Add a simple bass guitar line and a snare with brushes and it would be complete.

Cool song.

fj

#1139004 - 03/24/18 03:53 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Calvin Offline
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Hi Ricki,/Mike
,

Now THAT"S cool.
VERY GOOD job all around.
Cool performance and I wish I wrote THIS PART......

Whatever this is it’s like a puzzle in the dark
A piece goes missing, the one leading to your heart

ps....I really liked that last batch of IN MY LONELY ROOMS at the end.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1139014 - 03/25/18 12:55 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki and Mike,

First off, the lyrics are sweet as heck. I liked them a ton when Mike first posted them on the Lyrics3 board, and this take on it makes whatever small suggestions I had moot. Ricki, you’ve done a terrific job of finding the vibe on this one. Would love to hear a full blown version of this—would kill with some depth, but it’s darn solid as is. Well done!

Best regards,

Deej

#1139022 - 03/25/18 11:07 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Dave Rice]  
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Thanks for listening Dave and letting us know you like what we've done here.

Ricki

#1139023 - 03/25/18 11:11 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: floyd jane]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Glad you stopped by, Floyd, and let us know what you think about this one.

Ricki

#1139024 - 03/25/18 11:12 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Calvin]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Thanks, Calvin, you're pretty cool yourself.

Ricki

#1139025 - 03/25/18 11:15 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Deej56]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Thanks for the encouragement, Deej. Mike's lyrics have caught me several times, the music almost writing itself.

Ricki

#1139034 - 03/25/18 05:21 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Janice_and_Bud Offline
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Oh yeah, we love it when a fine lyric meets a fine “with heart” vocal interpretation. There is a very haunting feel to it that really adds to the lyrics.

We agree with floyd that a bass and drums would nail it (we might suggest a cajon or other light percussion and an upright bass playing held notes). That would be sweet but it most certainly sounds good as is.

Y’all done good!!

J&B


Check out our album Janice Merritt "All Over The Map"
on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora and others.
#1139049 - 03/26/18 10:07 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Hey Ricki,another great job.I'm always ready to see what you do with my lyrics and again,it turns out fantastic.Love the mood you set on this one.A bit more instrumentation as some have mentioned would be nice but what a great beginning.Thanks so much. Mike

#1139050 - 03/26/18 10:08 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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hey Dave,lovely Mike here,lol,i do thank you for your visit and thoughts on this.Always a pleasure to read your comments.Mike

#1139051 - 03/26/18 10:09 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Thank ya,Floyd.It's good to see ya drop by. Mike

#1139052 - 03/26/18 10:10 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Alright Calvin,i appreciate ya a bunch. Mike

#1139053 - 03/26/18 10:13 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Hi Deej,thanks for your time and thoughts.I do take in all suggestions on my lyrics but i rarely rewrite,that's one of my biggest mistakes.I usually write one and move on to the next.Bad habit,i know.Thanks for stopping by. Mike

#1139055 - 03/26/18 10:15 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Hey Janice & Bud,i really appreciate your thoughts on this one.I think you're spot on with the cajon and upright bass,those work great on these type songs. Mike

#1139076 - 03/26/18 08:46 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Janice_and_Bud]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Thanks for taking time to listen and comment J&B. Glad you liked it.

Ricki

#1139077 - 03/26/18 08:47 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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And thanks to you Mike, for letting me have my way with your song. smile

Ricki

#1139088 - 03/27/18 05:40 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Alanjack Offline
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This is a great job loved it.


Just a writer of words
#1139096 - 03/27/18 09:22 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Hey Ricki, I'm liking the sparse production on this...it works. Great lyric by Mike. So the verses are filled with great imagery and the chorus stays away from imagery...perfect....LOVE IT....great balance. I love how the chorus starts with the BGV's on the title line. I do have one small suggestions...no biggie but if it were my song, at the last line of the verses, instead of repeating the words "rattles my, rattles my" and "I'm thinking and thinking", I would repeat the title words in that line instead because it's the title...the more you repeat it, the better....so "rattles my heart in my lonely room...my lonely room" or "rattles my heart in my lonely, lonely room". Just my thought...still GREAT WORK.

#1139114 - 03/27/18 09:04 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Alanjack]  
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Thanks for listening, Alan.

Ricki

#1139115 - 03/27/18 09:09 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Germain Brunet]  
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Thanks for listening, Germain and your thoughts. I could have done it that way but figured Lonely Room was repeated enough times as it was to get the hook/title across. I know, more is better but don't want to brain damage anyone! smile

Ricki

#1139153 - 03/29/18 10:38 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Travis david Online content
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Good collab folks great song all round with exceptional lyric
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1139173 - 03/29/18 08:27 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Travis david]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Thanks for letting us know you like this one, Travis.

Ricki

#1139309 - 04/02/18 06:01 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Rikki!!!

Very nice, sir....Keep up the good work...

malin


rms
#1139345 - 04/03/18 03:09 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Nelson Offline
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Boom ………. Boom …………Boom smile
Damn it woman… this is very cool.
As always, love your vocals and I find your progression and arrangement, Soulfully Haunting.

And BTW: Mike is one killer songwriter, eh?

I GAIR – RUN – T


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1139362 - 04/04/18 10:19 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Thanks Alan. Mike

#1139363 - 04/04/18 10:20 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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I appreciate your thoughts and time Germain,thanks for dropping by. Mike

#1139364 - 04/04/18 10:20 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Hey Travis,thanks for the kind words. Mike

#1139365 - 04/04/18 10:21 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Hey there Bonzai,i appreciate the visit. Mike

#1139367 - 04/04/18 10:22 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Where y'at Nelson,thanks for the kind words. Mike

#1139408 - 04/05/18 08:49 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: BonzaiWag]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Malin!!! That would be "Very nice, madam", to you! smile Thanks for stopping by.

Ricki

#1139409 - 04/05/18 08:53 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Nelson]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Nelson, thanks for giving this a listen and glad you liked it. "Soulfully Haunting"...I like that! I can use it in my resume! smile

Mike is an awesome writer and I feel fortunate that he lets me play with his words.

Ricki

#1139417 - 04/06/18 12:42 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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lane1777 Offline
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hi ricki, always a fan of the singer songwriter, this folk blues kind of song always a treat for me.


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1139516 - 04/11/18 09:03 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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E Swartz Offline
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Rikki/Michael,

Sorry to get here so late, but "making a living" is killing me! mmmmh.......(There's another song title for you Rikki/Mike)...........

What a very cool Blues vibe for some very cool lyrics! Loved it! There are so many different ways to produce a song like this, but really like the sparseness & dominance of the lonely acoustic guitar supporting this song--would like to hear an upright bass and subtle washboard for slight percussion & rhythm!

steady-eddie

#1139719 - 04/14/18 02:46 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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I really enjoyed your performance Rikki! And well done on the lyrics Mike! Thoroughly enjoyed the listen!

Todd


Everything we have has come from you, and we
give you only what you have already given us!

1 Chronicles 29:14


http://www.soundclick.com/toddgstrachan
#1139774 - 04/15/18 12:25 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: E Swartz]  
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Mackie H. Online content
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Mackie H.  Online Content
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,843
NASHVILLE, TN
Rickie and Mike--

Very cool and Bluzy--Puts me at the BRASS RAIL in St Louis back in the 50's!

Write on!

Mackie

#1139950 - 04/20/18 09:04 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Wisconsin
Thanks for letting us know you liked this one, Lane.

Ricki

#1139951 - 04/20/18 09:05 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Apr 2008
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Wisconsin
Thanks for listening, Eddie, and your thoughts on production.

Ricki

#1139952 - 04/20/18 09:06 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Todd Strachan]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Wisconsin
Thanks, Todd, glad you enjoyed it.

Ricki

#1139953 - 04/20/18 09:07 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Mackie H.]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Wisconsin
Thanks, Mackie, glad it took you someplace cool.

Ricki

#1139954 - 04/20/18 09:35 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,396
GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,396
Florida
Great lyric Mike and perfect musical Vibe Ricki. Agree with the addition of a simple bass line and a snare and brush. But I am also hearing some acoustic slide work (think Ballad of Curtis Loew by Skynyrd). Well done.

Dave

#1139992 - 04/21/18 11:36 AM Re: Lonely Room [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Apr 2008
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Wisconsin
Thanks for tuning in, Dave, and your ideas for production. Glad you liked it.

Ricki

#1139995 - 04/21/18 12:49 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 615
Irwin Online content
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Irwin  Online Content
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 615
Georgetown,Guyana,South Americ...
Hi Kicki,

This is A beautiful piece of music. I have to say that the lyric is off the hook...I love the lyric. I love the mood of which the song was in throughout and the singer made the song her own she sounded cooled, relaxed the whole time. Please excuse me if I am sounding a little excited, I really like the song.

If there was one thing I had to change though about the song, it will be for the lyrics to be sung:

Verse
Chorus
Verse
Chorus
Verse
Chorus

But that is just me, my opinion.

Irwin

#1140143 - 04/23/18 01:31 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Irwin]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Wisconsin
Thanks so much for your thoughts, Irwin. Sometimes Mike's lyrics really speak to me as something I COULD have written and usually the music comes as easily as it does for the lyrics I DO write. I love it when everything comes together like that.

I did not change the structure that Mike had, although I could have arranged it like you suggest. No particular reason I didn't. Thanks for listening.

Ricki

#1140148 - 04/23/18 03:17 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,013
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,013
UK
This works well as is, imo.
It sounds "lonely".
If anything, maybe add a harmonica here and there or a cello.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1140157 - 04/23/18 08:45 PM Re: Lonely Room [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,839
Wisconsin
Thanks for listening and glad it works for you, Vic.

Ricki


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