Who's Online Now
23 registered members (Calvin, Deej56, Harriet Ames, Dave Rice, couchgrouch, E Swartz, 9ne, Gavin Sinclair, Everett Adams, Bob_Dietrich, 2 invisible), and 405 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Neil Cotton
Neil Cotton
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Posts: 4,393
Joined: June 2005
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
The Mooners
by Calvin. 10/20/18 04:15 AM
Re-Balance Your Life
by Moosesong. 10/20/18 12:13 AM
Mega Millions... Now what?
by E Swartz. 10/19/18 09:14 PM
SAME AS YOU INSIDE.Deej/Travis. Got a Radio Play!
by Travis david. 10/19/18 12:39 PM
I Hope I Die At Night
by Ricki E. Bellos. 10/19/18 09:20 AM
2018 Movie...
by John Lawrence Schick. 10/19/18 07:41 AM
That Lake
by Travis david. 10/19/18 07:41 AM
Is there Pro Music Industry people on this website
by Brian Austin Whitney. 10/19/18 04:01 AM
How many of you wrote number 1 songs
by Brian Austin Whitney. 10/19/18 03:51 AM
Big Jim Merrilees
by Brian Austin Whitney. 10/19/18 03:35 AM
His Eyes
by Tom Franz. 10/18/18 11:30 PM
by Deej56. 10/18/18 11:15 PM
Lyrics that need music
by Dave Rice. 10/18/18 09:56 PM
NEW CD "Old Letters" now on CDBaby
by niteshift. 10/18/18 10:16 AM
Charging for images
by Sue Rarick. 10/17/18 10:34 PM
Show me with Laura Kelsey
by Vicarn. 10/17/18 03:15 PM
"Star Struck Out"
by Neil Cotton. 10/17/18 02:40 PM
That Secret Summer Place
by beechnut79. 10/17/18 10:32 AM
A Day in the Stream
by beechnut79. 10/17/18 10:31 AM
Leaving You Behind
by beechnut79. 10/17/18 10:27 AM
That Lake
by Neil Cotton. 10/17/18 09:14 AM
Jeff Goldblum - New Jazz Album -
by Brian Austin Whitney. 10/16/18 11:06 PM
Would you
by Perry Neal Crawford. 10/16/18 12:47 PM
Have I talked to you today
by lane1777. 10/16/18 11:33 AM
New Page in the Book
by Travis david. 10/16/18 11:29 AM
Long Lost Girlfriend Blues
by beechnut79. 10/16/18 10:47 AM
I've Been There (revised) glyn
by beechnut79. 10/16/18 10:39 AM
It's Time (For Me to Sing the Blues
by beechnut79. 10/16/18 10:38 AM
Music Modernization Act
by Sue Rarick. 10/16/18 10:19 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,613
Travis david 11,073
Kevin Emmrich 10,541
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,571
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,841
glynda 8,579
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,899
couchgrouch 7,392
Corey 7,357
Dave Rice 6,838
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,436
Joe Wrabek 6,403
ben willis 6,094
Vicarn 5,833
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,604
niteshift 5,446
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,623
Blake Hill 4,528
Neil Cotton 4,393
Bob Cushing 4,352
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Cindy Miller 4,178
Tom Shea 4,173
TamsNumber4 4,032
Roy Cooper 4,009
nightengale 3,965
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,783
Dan Sullivan 3,710
MFB III 3,687
beechnut79 3,440
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
E Swartz 3,156
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,887
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,809
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,570
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,241
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
Wendy D 2,184
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
floyd jane 1,980
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
maccharles 1,878
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,629
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,582
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,461
Tom Franz 1,453
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,406
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
GocartMoz 1,387
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Ian Ferrin 1,230
PeteG 1,228
Glen King 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
Martin Lide 1,117
Gerry 1,090
summeoyo 1,085
joro 1,081
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
lane1777 1,026
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 940
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
Deej56 768
9ne 766
teletwang 762
90 dB 745
Andy K 739
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Fdemetrio 654
Katziis 652
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Pat Hardy 599
Irwin 593
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 565
Tink2 553
Moosesong 549
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
R&M 471
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
Alek 356
papaG 353
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
markus-ky 284
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1139174 - 03/29/18 10:17 PM Need Feedback  
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7
JayzonJ Offline
Casual Observer
JayzonJ  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7
Hey I've been writing songs for 7 years but I never really had any feedback on anything besides my friends. Could yall check out my songs and give me some feedback? if you like my content, could you either follow or subscribe to me.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDGR8ehokh36ENGplzXu9MQ

SoundCloud: www.soundcloud.com/black-flame-muzik

#1139184 - 03/30/18 09:11 AM Re: Need Feedback [Re: JayzonJ]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,838
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,838
Hi JayzonJ:

Welcome to JPF. I hope you will find a place here among us where you can share your music with us and take some time to hear what other songwriters and artists are doing. If you need help learning to navigate around the different forums on this great website, just ask. We have plenty of really talented folks who will gladly provide assistance, advice or a good natured poke in the ribs. I'm betting our founder, Brian Austin Whitney will be contacting you soon with his own personal welcome.

I listened to your first song on SoundCloud. As an old geezer from an entirely different culture, it would not be fair to you for me to even attempt to provide advice or critique. Although what I call RAP is evolving (like most music) I notice the main theme appears to be anger and pain. Blues (one of my favorite genres) always seems to be mostly about pain. Your vocals are good and the beat works for what I believe you are expressing.

Thanks for sharing and I hope you will enjoy participating in JPF's wealth of music related activities.


#1139185 - 03/30/18 09:19 AM Re: Need Feedback [Re: JayzonJ]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Neil Cotton Offline
Top 100 Poster
Neil Cotton  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
In MP3 section of the forum we usually post the lyrics for better understanding of your work.
The music / beats in your genre is pretty standard.

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 03/30/18 09:20 AM.
#1139205 - 03/30/18 05:58 PM Re: Need Feedback [Re: JayzonJ]  
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7
JayzonJ Offline
Casual Observer
JayzonJ  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7
This is one of my favorite songs to me.



Verse 1

Living in this world, trying to find which way to go
Like which way to flow, with the wind or at the bottom of the ocean floor
Don't really matter which way I try to go, there is someone always waiting to stop me
I don't plan on dropping anytime soon because of the stops thats been waiting to block me
Can anybody really stop me
Maybe, without my Father to watch me properly
Theses properties, they have found many ways to darken me
I need someone to come and harden me before the demons take over and I'm the heartless me
The one that's careless
The dark heart starts to bleed, filling me with the energy that's comsuming me
I don't wanna tell the demons they've won
And through my head, a flaming bullet from a gun
And from this beast, there's no way that I can run
So should I just turn and walk away from the sun
Man hell naw
I will always stand to fight and stand to sight and not lose my light to the darken might
I try so hard to keep the right mind and not just living just to waste my time


Light To My Darkness (x4)

Verse 2:

You see
I've been thrown down in the dumps
I know alot of people don't really give a damn
But you can call me a man of high hopes even though most of my plans got buried under the sand
I am a dreamer
Creating these dreams so I can see her
She keeps me contained and sustained between Earth
Mentally and spiritually at the place of my birth
Keeping my rage under control and my flames are burning
Every night that I sleep, my eyes are open
I enter the realm where my thoughts are potent
Cause I am the King of the Land of Positive Omens
Inside this land see, nobody can use me
Treat me as a fool and try to confuse
I don't [naughty word removed] with anybody, I try to make truces
But truthly , I just wanna love you all like He see
People like to say that I'm crazy
I don't care what you say about me lately
Daily, I try to get away from the baby that keeps me attracted to this lady because both would love me
I wish that both would hug me, love me
I wish somebody would rub me, tug me and pull the negativity from me so I wouldn't be worried about how they hurt thee
Worldly, you know that I'm tempted lustly, untrustly
And who in this world would trust me, bust me
You wish that you were the police, boldly
You wish that you bitches could hold me down
I just wanna come into your town and show all the citizens my crown
And take away the darkness shroud so everybody could smile now



#1139208 - 03/30/18 09:36 PM Re: Need Feedback [Re: JayzonJ]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,117
Martin Lide Online content
Top 500 Poster
Martin Lide  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,117
Houston, Texas
I can't evaluate you music...don't know it...but I liked it.

The female singers could be crisper and more melodic.... I think.


#1139221 - 03/31/18 08:18 AM Re: Need Feedback [Re: JayzonJ]  
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 134
Alanjack Offline
Serious Contributor
Alanjack  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 134
Well that was different sounded okay but can't really judge has this is not a genre that I make a habit of listening to. I wish you well.

Just a writer of words
#1139308 - 04/02/18 05:58 PM Re: Need Feedback [Re: JayzonJ]  
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 523
BonzaiWag Offline
Top 500 Poster
BonzaiWag  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 523
Oakdale, Ca.
Very good for a first try. Hang in there J


#1139342 - 04/03/18 02:22 PM Re: Need Feedback [Re: BonzaiWag]  
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7
JayzonJ Offline
Casual Observer
JayzonJ  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7
What do you mean BonzaiWag?

#1139741 - 04/14/18 10:40 PM Re: Need Feedback [Re: JayzonJ]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 251
ejlawrence Offline
Top 500 Poster
ejlawrence  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 251
Greater Los Angeles
Jayzon, Hip-hop and Rap aren't my genre either but I believe you have to decide if you're doing this for your own enjoyment or if you're looking to be an artist or to pitch your material to artists or music libraries. From listening to your tune on YouTube, I'd look to keep the cadence more even. Because of that, in part, I couldn't catch all your sung lyrics. Even in Hip-hop and Rap, there's a hook and I couldn't seem to catch it in the tune. Keep writing as that's how all songwriters get better. Thanks for sharing.

#1139760 - 04/15/18 11:25 AM Re: Need Feedback [Re: JayzonJ]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,026
lane1777 Offline
Top 500 Poster
lane1777  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,026
south of the mason,dixon line
Hi J .. stopped in and gave this a listen thought the song was well put together, just my thought. Lane

"Grace always pours from a closing wound"

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.

Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
TommyGunnLatham, JC_Forsyth, ryan_bryan, leerousi, GrooveSum
21106 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Average Posts Daily24
Most Online1,506
Mar 16th, 2017
Just Plain Quotes
"The least expensive/highest return thing you can do for your career, no matter what the level is, is to be nice and polite to people." –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
coalminer (39)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0