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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Happy Saturday JPFers all over the world. This is a lyric written by the lovely Mike LeBlanc. As with most of his lyrics that grab me, the music came almost right away. If you have any ideas about future production, or in general how to improve on the song, we're listening. Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend. Ricki https://soundcloud.com/rickib/lonely-roomLONELY ROOM You plant roses in my heart but it doesn’t matter Cause then you leave all the thorns that claw and tatter And the rains only nourish the sorrow that blooms Day after day after day in my lonely room You paint rainbows in the sky so beautifully formed Then you’re gone and I can’t weather the coming storm Constant lightning flashes, the rolling thunder booms Rattles my, rattles my heart in my lonely room In my lonely room It’s never easy You come and go and it scares me In my lonely room Too much time alone Wondering why I stay when you’re gone In my lonely room Whatever this is it’s like a puzzle in the dark A piece goes missing, the one leading to your heart If you’re cheating at this game won’t you please come clean soon I’m thinking and thinking too much in my lonely room In my lonely room It’s never easy You come and go and it scares me In my lonely room Too much time alone Wondering why I stay when you’re gone In my lonely room ©Mike LeBlanc and Ricki E. Bellos
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Hi Ricki and Mike:
Really enjoyed my listen... although I never thought of Mike as being "lovely"... LOL! Your "trial balloon" has all the elements of a great song with a serious "blues vibe." I appreciate the words and the melody... and, being naturally curious... wonder how it would sound with more instrumentation? No need to hurry 'cause only two opinions matter about this song... Ricki and Mike! Kudos and curtain calls for this very special recording. ----Dave
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Ricki & Mike...
Exceptional lyric.
I like what your have done with this, Ricki. The repeats at the end of line 3 is a nice touch. The use of background- style vocals for the "In my lonely room" lines in the chorus works really well.
A nice guitar/vocal recording. Add a simple bass guitar line and a snare with brushes and it would be complete.
Cool song.
fj
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Hi Ricki,/Mike , Now THAT"S cool. VERY GOOD job all around. Cool performance and I wish I wrote THIS PART...... Whatever this is it’s like a puzzle in the dark A piece goes missing, the one leading to your heart
ps....I really liked that last batch of IN MY LONELY ROOMS at the end. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Ricki and Mike,
First off, the lyrics are sweet as heck. I liked them a ton when Mike first posted them on the Lyrics3 board, and this take on it makes whatever small suggestions I had moot. Ricki, you’ve done a terrific job of finding the vibe on this one. Would love to hear a full blown version of this—would kill with some depth, but it’s darn solid as is. Well done!
Best regards,
Deej
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Thanks for listening Dave and letting us know you like what we've done here.
Ricki
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Glad you stopped by, Floyd, and let us know what you think about this one.
Ricki
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Thanks, Calvin, you're pretty cool yourself.
Ricki
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Thanks for the encouragement, Deej. Mike's lyrics have caught me several times, the music almost writing itself.
Ricki
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Oh yeah, we love it when a fine lyric meets a fine “with heart” vocal interpretation. There is a very haunting feel to it that really adds to the lyrics.
We agree with floyd that a bass and drums would nail it (we might suggest a cajon or other light percussion and an upright bass playing held notes). That would be sweet but it most certainly sounds good as is.
Y’all done good!!
J&B
Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?" on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
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Hey Ricki,another great job.I'm always ready to see what you do with my lyrics and again,it turns out fantastic.Love the mood you set on this one.A bit more instrumentation as some have mentioned would be nice but what a great beginning.Thanks so much. Mike
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hey Dave,lovely Mike here,lol,i do thank you for your visit and thoughts on this.Always a pleasure to read your comments.Mike
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Thank ya,Floyd.It's good to see ya drop by. Mike
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Alright Calvin,i appreciate ya a bunch. Mike
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Hi Deej,thanks for your time and thoughts.I do take in all suggestions on my lyrics but i rarely rewrite,that's one of my biggest mistakes.I usually write one and move on to the next.Bad habit,i know.Thanks for stopping by. Mike
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Hey Janice & Bud,i really appreciate your thoughts on this one.I think you're spot on with the cajon and upright bass,those work great on these type songs. Mike
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Thanks for taking time to listen and comment J&B. Glad you liked it.
Ricki
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And thanks to you Mike, for letting me have my way with your song. Ricki
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This is a great job loved it.
Just a writer of words
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Hey Ricki, I'm liking the sparse production on this...it works. Great lyric by Mike. So the verses are filled with great imagery and the chorus stays away from imagery...perfect....LOVE IT....great balance. I love how the chorus starts with the BGV's on the title line. I do have one small suggestions...no biggie but if it were my song, at the last line of the verses, instead of repeating the words "rattles my, rattles my" and "I'm thinking and thinking", I would repeat the title words in that line instead because it's the title...the more you repeat it, the better....so "rattles my heart in my lonely room...my lonely room" or "rattles my heart in my lonely, lonely room". Just my thought...still GREAT WORK.
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Thanks for listening, Alan.
Ricki
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Thanks for listening, Germain and your thoughts. I could have done it that way but figured Lonely Room was repeated enough times as it was to get the hook/title across. I know, more is better but don't want to brain damage anyone! Ricki
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Good collab folks great song all round with exceptional lyric Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Thanks for letting us know you like this one, Travis.
Ricki
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Rikki!!!
Very nice, sir....Keep up the good work...
malin
rms
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Boom ………. Boom …………Boom Damn it woman… this is very cool. As always, love your vocals and I find your progression and arrangement, Soulfully Haunting. And BTW: Mike is one killer songwriter, eh? I GAIR – RUN – T
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I appreciate your thoughts and time Germain,thanks for dropping by. Mike
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Hey Travis,thanks for the kind words. Mike
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Hey there Bonzai,i appreciate the visit. Mike
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Where y'at Nelson,thanks for the kind words. Mike
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Malin!!! That would be "Very nice, madam", to you! Thanks for stopping by. Ricki
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Nelson, thanks for giving this a listen and glad you liked it. "Soulfully Haunting"...I like that! I can use it in my resume! Mike is an awesome writer and I feel fortunate that he lets me play with his words. Ricki
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hi ricki, always a fan of the singer songwriter, this folk blues kind of song always a treat for me.
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Rikki/Michael,
Sorry to get here so late, but "making a living" is killing me! mmmmh.......(There's another song title for you Rikki/Mike)...........
What a very cool Blues vibe for some very cool lyrics! Loved it! There are so many different ways to produce a song like this, but really like the sparseness & dominance of the lonely acoustic guitar supporting this song--would like to hear an upright bass and subtle washboard for slight percussion & rhythm!
steady-eddie
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I really enjoyed your performance Rikki! And well done on the lyrics Mike! Thoroughly enjoyed the listen!
Todd
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Rickie and Mike--
Very cool and Bluzy--Puts me at the BRASS RAIL in St Louis back in the 50's!
Write on!
Mackie
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Thanks for letting us know you liked this one, Lane.
Ricki
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Thanks for listening, Eddie, and your thoughts on production.
Ricki
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Thanks, Todd, glad you enjoyed it.
Ricki
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Thanks, Mackie, glad it took you someplace cool.
Ricki
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Great lyric Mike and perfect musical Vibe Ricki. Agree with the addition of a simple bass line and a snare and brush. But I am also hearing some acoustic slide work (think Ballad of Curtis Loew by Skynyrd). Well done.
Dave
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Thanks for tuning in, Dave, and your ideas for production. Glad you liked it.
Ricki
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Hi Kicki,
This is A beautiful piece of music. I have to say that the lyric is off the hook...I love the lyric. I love the mood of which the song was in throughout and the singer made the song her own she sounded cooled, relaxed the whole time. Please excuse me if I am sounding a little excited, I really like the song.
If there was one thing I had to change though about the song, it will be for the lyrics to be sung:
Verse Chorus Verse Chorus Verse Chorus
But that is just me, my opinion.
Irwin
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Thanks so much for your thoughts, Irwin. Sometimes Mike's lyrics really speak to me as something I COULD have written and usually the music comes as easily as it does for the lyrics I DO write. I love it when everything comes together like that.
I did not change the structure that Mike had, although I could have arranged it like you suggest. No particular reason I didn't. Thanks for listening.
Ricki
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This works well as is, imo. It sounds "lonely". If anything, maybe add a harmonica here and there or a cello.
Vic
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Thanks for listening and glad it works for you, Vic.
Ricki
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