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#1138849 03/20/18 05:16 AM
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Hello JPFers.
It's been years since I have written a complete tune and/or recorded.
Pre cursor, the vocal sux because, well, it's me bite
I wrote this for a friend who has inspired me to be musical again.
I posted the lyric a month ago but, got no response.
recorded at a friends studio using Logic - Taylor 310CE - and a P bass.
anyways, here it is, I would love to get a better vocal on it.


new tracks further down in the thread.

Last edited by joro; 03/31/18 07:35 PM.
joro #1138861 03/20/18 07:54 AM
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Hi Joro:

I liked the "vibe" of the song but your vocal was a bit "drowned-out" by that fantastic sounding guitar. Without the lyrics to follow as you sang... it was a bit difficult to catch every nuance of the song. The song has "good bones" and I encourage you to keep grinding away at this one until it works in every aspect. Your vocal needs to hover above the mix a bit... and yes, you need some practice, maybe a little coaching if you want to speed up the process... but I enjoyed my listen.

Thanks for sharing. Best of luck with your music. ----Dave

joro #1138865 03/20/18 09:00 AM
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Joro,

Dave covered the main points well. Good sounding guitar and bass bed. Bumping the vocal just slightly should be sufficient. And a lyric (posted here) would help us old guys (with old guy ears)...

Always good to "find your music" again...

fj

joro #1138880 03/20/18 11:55 PM
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Thank you fellas. Hoping to retrack the vox soon.
Here are the lyrics smile
Sweet Kay Tee Gee Joe Rogier 2018

Verse 1
On a cold bright Winter’s morning,
Coffee’s brewin’, the sun is dawnin'
I decided to try for a little while
To express my thoughts in music and lyric,
Get it down so you could hear it
You know I think it just might make you smile

Chorus
Well here it is and here I am, Harmony and all that jazz
Tell a story, good or bad, of a love long lost or of a traveling band
This one’s for you my muse sweet Kay Tee Gee
This one’s for you my sweet Kay Tee Gee

Bridge
You picked me up, when I was feeling low,
from that darkness I could see your glow
brought me back, to play in one more show

Verse 2
The songs inside each one of us,
the songs about life’s gains and loss
Songs about sweet memories,
are whatever we want to make them be
You know I think it just might make you smile

Chorus
Well here it is and here I am, Harmony and all that jazz
Tell a story, good or bad, of a love long lost or of a traveling band
This one’s for you my muse sweet Kay Tee Gee
This one’s for you my sweet Kay Tee Gee
This one’s for you my sweet Kay Tee Gee

Last edited by joro; 03/20/18 11:56 PM.
joro #1138889 03/21/18 09:32 AM
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Hi Joro,

I agree with Floyd about the lyric...I personally like to be able to see the lyric as I'm listening to the songs, just makes it easier to grasp the story. It's not that your vocal was bad but could be a touch more up front in the mix. I assume it's a song for your wife or loved one...good one.

Germain

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joro Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Germain Brunet
Hi Joro,
I assume it's a song for your wife or loved one...good one.

Germain




Thank you Germain,
I met a new friend who is a novice and so determined to better their skills in music that it inspired me to start writing, playing and recording again.
I am heading back to my friend Jon's studio this weekend and will be re tracking the vox.
Might add some mando or cello.
I've been practicing. smile

joro #1138920 03/22/18 06:49 AM
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Hello Joro,


Good song, looking forward to the completed version.
I especially liked THIS part........

To express my thoughts in music and lyric,
Get it down so you could hear it


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

joro #1138930 03/22/18 12:09 PM
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Acoustic ballad with a cool nostalgic vibe.

I liked the acoustic guitar intro and the cymbal swell was a nice touch. The main guitar sounds good, and the vocals work okay. The overall production is fair; you can hear everything and there are no huge issues with the mix. I loved the sound effect going into the bridge - really cool! I thought the vocals sat fine in the mix, btw.

There are a couple of issues that could be fixed to make the song even better, imo.
The right channel guitar is not in time with the other guitar. It seems like you are mostly late so you could try sliding that track early (to the left, as it were) and see if it helps.
The bass needs a bit of EQ to chill the extreme lows.

I liked it!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
joro #1138949 03/22/18 07:40 PM
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Thanks for posting the lyric. Lots of good advice for you to consider and I'm hoping the next version meets all your expectations. I was also glad to hear that your friend inspired you to "begin again." It is never too late to create! Thanks for being such a good sport and contributor to our great group of songwriters, artists and composers. ----Dave

joro #1138980 03/23/18 06:01 PM
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Hey Joro,

Something similar happened to me...I had given it all up for actually about 10 years, then I met an old friend who had a studio where I live and it got me started all over again.

Let me know once you get it done...would love to hear it.

joro #1139249 03/31/18 07:37 PM
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well it took two weeks but, here it is...and here I am.... entirely re tracked new mix.
I recorded to a click this time. Much tighter.

Let me know what you think...ok? smile

Sweet Katy G at Soundcloud

Last edited by joro; 03/31/18 07:38 PM.
joro #1139328 04/03/18 09:49 AM
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Hi Joe: I'm home briefly and wanted to catch up on things at JPF before another journey south. As I listened, I was reminded of a few things... and I'll share them with you. Before I share memories and advice, let me thank you for displaying the lyric... and for taking time to do another recording.

The music is memorable and the lyric is close to where it needs to be. I believe this can become one of those songs that lingers with the listener long after the last note has faded away. My advice, after hearing version two: Work on the limiting of vocal harmony. (It can become a "crutch" used to hide a lead vocal because of whatever reason you feel compelled to use it.) I developed that habit early because I do not care for my own voice... and was advised by a trusted artist to use it sparingly and carefully. It can be one of the most effective "guns in your arsenal" or can drown the impact of your song's vibe.

My words are not intended to be snide or snarky... you have so much potential and what little I can share with you is meant to encourage you to strive for perfection... because perfection is what is expected in all genres today. Be strong and steady and the world can be your Oyster. All the best. ----Dave

joro #1139330 04/03/18 11:44 AM
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We rejoined the music making/recording world again about seven years ago after a long layoff with our time mostly spent playing outdoors (not music...hiking and biking, etc.) I was apprehensive initially about re-entering but it has brought us great joy. I hope you find a similar path with it.

We enjoyed listening and felt that the instrumental production well supported the lyric and vocal.

We liked both the song and the backstory!

J&B


Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?"
on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
joro #1139387 04/04/18 08:56 PM
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I want to thank you all for listening and the valuable advice.

This is not done. I will finish it. smile


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