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#1138236 - 03/07/18 12:23 PM I am sorry but this is one of the best songs ever  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 53
steve_folk Offline
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steve_folk  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 53
written and thats not pride of authorship. Just a demo but the heart is there.

Please help me perfect it.






Donít let the rain bother you dear
That would be a waste of time
Donít let the government corrupt you
Take notice when the sun shines

Donít Let your job take over things dear
That would be in bad taste
Donít let life pass you like a train
Remember the fun is in the chase

Chorus:
And It wont be long
No anyday
Maybe tomorrow maybe today

Donít Let war fever enter your blood
That stuff is only for the sheep
Donít turn away from those suffering
But At the same time donít you weep

Last edited by steve_folk; 03/08/18 10:54 AM.
#1138286 - 03/08/18 10:54 AM Re: I am sorry but this is one of the best songs ever [Re: steve_folk]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 53
steve_folk Offline
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steve_folk  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 53

#1138287 - 03/08/18 10:54 AM Re: I am sorry but this is one of the best songs ever [Re: steve_folk]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 53
steve_folk Offline
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steve_folk  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 53
I fixed the link above

#1138296 - 03/08/18 12:12 PM Re: I am sorry but this is one of the best songs ever [Re: steve_folk]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,915
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,915
UK
Distinctive sound and arrangement on this one.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1138319 - 03/08/18 08:05 PM Re: I am sorry but this is one of the best songs ever [Re: steve_folk]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,454
niteshift Offline
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niteshift  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,454
Sydney, Australia
Hey Steve,

Welcome to JPF . smile

Well, I had a listen to this one and the 2 others you put up, and it's difficult to provide a critique.

Sure, they're all rough demo's but I'm finding it hard to break through what is presented.

I find the tunes difficult to follow, both musically and structurally. ( I can't comment on the lyrics as I'm not a lyricist )

As one who warbles vocally like a scolded cat, I think I'm qualified to say, that the vocals are so out of pitch, it's difficult to determine the melody line.

Suggestions ? I'd probably put some time in with a good loop programme, that you can get things formatted and on track. Then pick up a vocalist to do some overlays and take it from there. It may be a simple sound, but it's then clearly audible in regards to what you are trying to express in regards to the song itself.

Keep doin' it, and it will come along in leaps and bounds. smile

cheers, niteshift

#1138325 - 03/08/18 08:53 PM Re: I am sorry but this is one of the best songs ever [Re: niteshift]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 53
steve_folk Offline
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steve_folk  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 53
Thanks Niteshift. Can you talk a little more about the pitch aspect? I know that I am in tune as I post tested. Can you elaborate? Thanks so much for your time and honesty.


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