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#1137680 - 02/23/18 05:44 AM Bring It Back  
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 38
kevinism Offline
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kevinism  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2018
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Dublin, Ireland
Would love some feedback on this one ..


https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/29213525-when-it-comes


Standing alone at the top of the stairs
Is this what it's like to be free?
Downstairs the sound of the TV drones on
Is this how his life's meant to be?

"And then the lights go out an there's no one left here but me"

Bring it back, bring it back
Bring it back, bring it back




Who would have thought after all of these years
She's find the courage to leave?
It didn't take much to convince her to go
Why did she look so relieved?

"And when it comes to love there's nothing more I can take"
Bring it back, bring it back
Bring it back, bring it back



He picks up his phone just in case that she's called
But no one has called him today
He feels so alone as he lies on the bed
Life can be funny that way

"And then the lights go out an there's no one left here but me"
Bring it back, bring it back
Bring it back, bring it back

Life can be funny that way

Maybe tomorrow he'll sort something out
Yes maybe tomorrow we'll see
Downstairs the sounds of the TV drones on
Is this how his life's meant to be?

Bring it back, bring it back
Bring it back, bring it back
Bring it back, bring it back
Bring it back

Last edited by kevinism; 03/11/18 12:38 PM.
#1137691 - 02/23/18 10:54 AM Re: When It Comes [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Jul 2013
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floyd jane Offline
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I enjoyed the listen, Kevin. Nicely put together. The music is interesting throughout. The lyric, too.

You always have "that Bowie sound". This also brings to mind "theatrical pop rock" - early Genesis? King Crimson? (not what I grew up on, so my memory is vague....).

Cool production and vocals. I thought the drums could come up considerably.

fj

#1137909 - 02/26/18 05:14 PM Re: When It Comes [Re: kevinism]  
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Janice & Bud Offline
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Janice & Bud  Offline
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floyd did a spot on job of mentioning sound references. I saw King Crimson "back in the day" and I can understand why he mentioned them.

We feel that everything is there but agree on bringing up the drums. Actually given today's typical sound the overall level of the tune could be bumped up a wee bit.

Nice with really fine voal performances!

J&B


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#1138188 - 03/06/18 01:57 PM Re: When It Comes [Re: floyd jane]  
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kevinism Offline
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kevinism  Offline
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Dublin, Ireland
Originally Posted by floyd jane
I enjoyed the listen, Kevin. Nicely put together. The music is interesting throughout. The lyric, too.

You always have "that Bowie sound". This also brings to mind "theatrical pop rock" - early Genesis? King Crimson? (not what I grew up on, so my memory is vague....).

Cool production and vocals. I thought the drums could come up considerably.

fj



Many thanks, I really like King Crimson and (early) Genesis, so will take that as a compliment! I'm playing around with the drums ... originally, I had bongos prominent in the mix, but have moved them back. Still tinkering .....

#1138262 - 03/08/18 04:29 AM Re: When It Comes [Re: kevinism]  
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Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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The sound took me back to my days in Manchester in the 70s. Liked it best of luck with it
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1138269 - 03/08/18 10:16 AM Re: When It Comes [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Feb 2005
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Dave Rice Online content
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Dave Rice  Online Content
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Creative work, Kevin:

I can't improve upon what Floyd said. Send more. Enjoyed. ----Dave

#1138272 - 03/08/18 11:12 AM Re: When It Comes [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Dec 2016
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steve_folk Offline
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steve_folk  Offline
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Posts: 53
Cool music, lyrics are really poor.

#1138317 - 03/08/18 07:13 PM Re: When It Comes [Re: steve_folk]  
Joined: Feb 2018
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kevinism Offline
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kevinism  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 38
Dublin, Ireland
Originally Posted by Travis david
The sound took me back to my days in Manchester in the 70s. Liked it best of luck with it
Travis

Originally Posted by Dave Rice
Creative work, Kevin:

I can't improve upon what Floyd said. Send more. Enjoyed. ----Dave


Many thanks guys, much appreciated!


Originally Posted by steve_folk
Cool music, lyrics are really poor.


Glad you liked the music .. is there anything in particular about the lyrics you don't like? thanks


Kevin

#1138418 - 03/11/18 12:40 PM Re: When It Comes [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Feb 2018
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kevinism Offline
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kevinism  Offline
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Dublin, Ireland
Someone suggested that I change the title from "When It Comes" to "Bring It Back" and on reflection, I think that's a better title, so I went ahead and changed it!

Cheers, Kevin

#1138420 - 03/11/18 12:43 PM Re: When It Comes [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Dec 2016
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steve_folk Offline
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steve_folk  Offline
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Beautiful vibe!

#1138430 - 03/11/18 03:08 PM Re: When It Comes [Re: kevinism]  
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Scott Campbell Offline
Scott Campbell  Offline

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Lakeland, FL, USA
I knew from the intro I'd like this. Yes, a very cool vibe, effective vocals and nice production. I'm digging it!

Scott

#1138491 - 03/12/18 02:06 PM Re: When It Comes [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,647
Ricki E. Bellos Online content
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Ricki E. Bellos  Online Content
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Wisconsin
Very effective music and vocal, Kevin. I think lyrically, there are a couple of lines were you could dig deeper and make the song even stronger. Lines like:

"Life can be funny that way" and "Yes maybe tomorrow we'll see"...feel like throw aways, space fillers.

"And when it comes to love there's nothing more I can take"...I'm not sure how this fits in with the rest? It might be more effecive to keep the pre-chorus (if that's what it is) the same throughout the song.

"Downstairs the sounds of the TV drones on
Is this how his life's meant to be"...ending on those same two lines that you started with hammers home the lonliness and desolation, so good call there. Might be even more devastating with "how his life's going to be".

Overall, I like what you have but with a little more thought this could hit a lot harder. Just some thoughts.

Ricki


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