8 members (Bill Draper, Gary E. Andrews, Fdemetrio, Perry Neal Crawford, Guy E. Trepanier, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, 1 invisible),
809
guests, and
225
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 134
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 134 |
Missing in action
He went on a mission in a far off land In merciless heat all covered in sand He vanished from sight in the vast dry sea God please send back my soldier to me
He went off to fight a war unplanned Sent by people who don’t understand He’s just a number not even a name He’s just a pawn in a political game
Under the sand there lies black gold The reason why some will never get old It’s no reason that one soldier should die Maybe we should all be asking why
Please search the desert the huge sandy sea Try to find my soldier for me He went off to fight in that far away land Now you have lost him In those vast seas of sand.
He went on a mission in a far off land In merciless heat all covered in sand He vanished from sight in the vast dry sea God please send back my soldier to me
Just a writer of words
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 5,115 Likes: 19
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 5,115 Likes: 19 |
I think you have to watch your meter. It reads kind of sing songy, which the subject matter doesn't seem like it. And needs emotion, somebody who is really looking for somebidy Mia in war, is going to sound very broken, this reads cheery and happy.
Even though the words don't say it, the rhythm of the words say something else.
Think about the pain somebody would be feeling, imagine never seeing somebody you love again, imagine trying to plead with the government to find this person, and the helplessness you'd feel
It's a good idea just not emotional enough. But the right music could change it too. my 2 cents
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 02/26/18 09:46 PM.
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,754
Posts1,161,305
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"When will we all, as artists, creators and facilitators learn that the so-called experts in our lives are nothing more than someone who has stepped forward and called themselves an expert?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|