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#1136827 - 02/11/18 04:57 PM Her pillow's not big enough Mike Zaneski/ Travis  
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Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13691898

Another completed song with a Mike Zaneski production and vocal. Music and lyric by me.
On discussing the project prior to Mike's work, the name Christy Moore  cropped up once more.
We both like the Christy brand of Irish contemporary folk,so there's more than a hint of his influence here.
Thanks in advance for the listen, and hopefully your comments.
Travis

Her pillow's not big enough for all her dreams.

Chorus
She lies fast asleep, drifting to some distant land
where sugar coated trees and chocolate fountains stand
And bet she  runs through  summer meadows and streams
her pillow's not big enough for all her dreams.

Verse
Piggy back rides, candy bars, cuts on her knees
hugs from her mom a play house in the trees
Falling out with her best friend, making up again
tantrums when she couldn't play out in the rain

Verse
Nursery to college in the blinking of an eye
times in between heartaches. laughter and sighs
toothache, measles, those school grade tests
all that homework done,go give it your best

Chorus
She lies fast asleep, drifting to some distant land
where sugar coated trees and chocolate fountains stand
There she goes running through the meadows and streams
her pillow's not big enough for all her dreams

Verse
When her  prince finally comes sweeps her off her feet
no white charger but her life might be complete
Time to spread those wings she's outgrown the nest
we'll miss her lots around the home,but not the mess!

Bridge
Yes  we'll miss  our little miss  non the less

Chorus 2
When she lay fast asleep, drifting to some distant land
where sugar coated trees and chocolate fountains stand
There she goes running through the meadows and streams
her pillow's not big enough for all her dreams.


Last edited by Travis david; 02/13/18 03:29 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136830 - 02/11/18 06:20 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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TC Perkins Offline
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Nice song that definitely has an Irish vibe.

The imagery in the lyrics are outstanding! Well delivered vocal with a nice big sound. The accompaniment was really well done and had just the right 'flavor' for this tune.

Two minor things grabbed my attention:
1. hugs from her mom a play house in the trees => Hugs from her mom, playhouse in the trees (lose the 'a').
2. The transition into the final chorus is a bit abrupt with a kind of minor hiccup in the rhythm (just for a second, then it resumes beautifully).

Mix is excellent although I would have liked that awesome accompaniment to be a bit louder.

Fantastic!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
#1136840 - 02/11/18 11:43 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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south of the mason,dixon line
geez Travis! how well written is this! man what a super job on that end. really enjoyed this song. light, had a bright appealing nature to it.
and Michael Z always on target with his music. writing and music I thought "very pro...Lane

Last edited by lane1777; 02/12/18 10:51 PM.

"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1136844 - 02/12/18 12:07 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Deej56 Online content
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Travis and Mike,

Well, first, this is so well done—really every aspect shines, from the lyric, melody to the production. I’ll confess, just reading the title to the song, i was thinking this might be something more tongue in cheek (think innuendo). That’s my twisted mind, I guess! But might want to think about that title (and, regardless, it has a typo in that there should at least be an apostrophe in “pillows” (i.e., “pillow’s”). Great tune, awesome production!

All the best,

Deej

#1136846 - 02/12/18 12:09 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Dave Rice Offline
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Well done, you two. Love the flow of the lyric and the sentiment of the song. As usual, Mike has done this up with style and imagination... while maintaining an Irish sounding melody. Kudos to you both. ----Dave

#1136849 - 02/12/18 12:11 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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David Snyder Offline
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Hey this is a really nice one guys. Maybe I am stupid or too tired or something but when I go to the site it is saying the author is John Vaughn.

Did I miss something along the way?

Anyway, beautifully done.


David Snyder, Composer, Author
Singer-Songwriter, Producer
Regional Chapter Coordinator, NSAI
www.davidsnydermusic.com
www.reverbnation.com/davidpsnyder
#1136851 - 02/12/18 12:22 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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E Swartz Offline
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Travis,

Mike Z did a great job with the music to these wonderful lyrics. Having a daughter, I appreciate much about the song! Nice work guys!

steady-eddie

#1136865 - 02/12/18 03:26 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks for the listen and suggestions TC.
Dropping the A isn't a problem and yes a lot smoother.
I don't hear so good so I take your suggestion.
If and when Mike comes along I'm sure he will address this and the last chorus point.
Pleased you liked it generally though.
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136866 - 02/12/18 03:28 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Cheers Lane, that was great feedback.I thank you and Mike for his solid work on the song.
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136868 - 02/12/18 05:05 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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kevinism Offline
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kevinism  Offline
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Definitely get the Christy Moore vibe on this one ...nicely produced and strong lyrics, well done! ( And it can be either pillow's i.e. singular or pillows plural smile )

Kevin

#1136871 - 02/12/18 05:28 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Calvin Offline
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Hi guys,


Thumbs up to a job well done.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1136878 - 02/12/18 06:35 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Travis and Mike.
A little too much sugar for me, lyrically
but it's well put together and Mike's done a fine job production wise.
When you say you did the music, do you mean the melody?

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.
http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold
#1136881 - 02/12/18 07:49 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Deej you're right of course an apostrophe is needed and sorted cheers
Thanks for your visit and pleased to know you liked the song
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136882 - 02/12/18 07:58 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks Dave R
.I always appreciate your visit and comments.
Thanks again for your support
John

Last edited by Travis david; 02/12/18 07:58 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136884 - 02/12/18 08:43 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Hello DS
JV is my real name TD a name i write under usually as there appears to be one too many JV's around.
Thanks for the listen David much appreciated
JV or TD


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136893 - 02/12/18 09:32 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Martin Lide Online content
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"her pillow's not big enough for all her dreams."

Great line. I enjoyed reading the lyrics as well as listening to the song.
Softly landing rhymes throughout the song which is a nice aspect to a song about a sleeping daughter.

Nice job fellas,

Martin

#1136903 - 02/12/18 09:53 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Steady
That's good It was aimed at guys like you lol.
We have two sons so i'd better get writing .
Thanks for the feedback Ed here and on FB
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136905 - 02/12/18 09:58 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Travis/Mike,

Cool title and nice imagery throughout to chase the idea. A nice listen. A pleasant production.

fj

#1136906 - 02/12/18 10:02 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks Kevin that's what I thought re the apostrophe but i changed it anyhow lol
Thanks for your ears.
Appreciate your visit
Travis

Last edited by Travis david; 02/12/18 10:22 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136909 - 02/12/18 10:05 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Calvin
Thanks once more for your support
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136926 - 02/12/18 11:26 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Yes the melody Vic. I wrote the lyric about 4 years ago
shelved it and did a rewrite.
Like you i thought the same thing about it lyrically.
Worried it might be a little too twee.
Mike thought it was sweet and went ahead with a nod to Ireland
Thanks for the listen
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136939 - 02/12/18 12:32 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks Martin
I'm pleased it hit the right note with you
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136962 - 02/12/18 03:58 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Floyd
Thanjs for your listen and thumbs up.
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136966 - 02/12/18 05:09 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Excellent collaboration guys
This has a nice grove to it.

Beautiful concept and title. “Her pillow's not big enough for all her dreams”

I liked the bit of music after the 2nd chorus around 1:25… very cool


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1136968 - 02/12/18 05:19 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks Mr. N. Pleased you enjoyed it especially Mike's magic
Travis

Last edited by Travis david; 02/12/18 05:20 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1136988 - 02/12/18 09:52 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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What sweet lyrics, Travis/John and I really like the quick pace of the song...kinda like a little girl skipping through the fields! smile Well thought out and executed production as well, Mike. Another successful JPF collab!

Ricki

#1137003 - 02/13/18 02:44 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Ricki
Thanks for that great feedback!
Regards
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137004 - 02/13/18 02:49 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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The song has gone to the number one position in two Soundclick charts.
Travis

Charts position
» highest in charts: # 9 (150,503 songs currently listed in Acoustic)
» highest in sub-genre: # 1 (19,735 songs currently listed in Acoustic > Acoustic Folk)
» today's position: # 9 in Acoustic
» today's position in sub-genre: # 1 in Acoustic Folk


Last edited by Travis david; 02/13/18 03:30 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137010 - 02/13/18 06:21 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Travis and Mike

Great feel good song, I love it and Helen does as well

God Bless Roy and Helen


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#1137013 - 02/13/18 06:40 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Roy Cooper]  
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Hi Roy & Helen
Thanks for the listen and feedback.
I've not seen you around for sometime?
All the best to you both, hope you are both keeping well!
Regards
Travis

Last edited by Travis david; 02/13/18 06:41 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137024 - 02/13/18 07:35 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Got an email from the BBC who are considering the song for inclusion in their Introducing programme this Thursday.
If it goes ahead it'll get a repeat play on Saturday.
A recent song got four plays but they won't reply to emails asking if there's any response from listeners. Which is annoying!


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137028 - 02/13/18 09:37 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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That is very awesome, Travis! And I'll be hoping the BBC is smart enough to include it. Congrats!

Deej

#1137030 - 02/13/18 09:44 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Cheers Deej
Fingers crossed.
Thanks
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137041 - 02/13/18 01:16 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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I'm a late comer to this one but hat's off to you both. When I first saw the title I was figuring this would be another song about a guy not being able to work it out with his wife/girlfriend,lol. Man was I wrong. Love this song. Lyrics bring us all back to our youth and the Irish take is great. Although I'm not Irish I am one day of every year--St. Pat's day,lol. And I've always been partial to the song--Black Velvet Band. Keep up the great work,
Roger


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#1137044 - 02/13/18 01:33 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks Roger.
I'm from the Welsh camp along with Dave Rice and Vic Arnold but love the Gaelic influence of the Irish music
Appreciate your thumbs up.,enjoy St Paddy's Day it'll be here soon!
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137052 - 02/13/18 05:05 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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How cool is that?!

We are fans of open/airy productions like this that offer exactly what is needed (and no more) to
both support rich lyrical imagery and well delivered vocals. This production has those elements in spades.

Nice!

J&B


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#1137063 - 02/13/18 07:00 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Thank J & B.
Really appreciate your positive feedback
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137135 - 02/14/18 09:54 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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I understand the song is getting a play on Friiday on a radio show called Sophie's Springboard. It's local radio station called Source based in Cornwall. Quite a lot of listeners though
Travis

Last edited by Travis david; 02/16/18 06:19 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137237 - 02/15/18 01:04 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Nice folk type song. Good images and nicely produced. Congratulations on all the "attention" the song is receiving.

#1137250 - 02/15/18 05:04 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks Iggy!
The song was played tonight on BBC Radio Cumbria's Introducing.The programme is repeated on Saturday.
Thanks for your listen and comment
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137278 - 02/16/18 09:52 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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The song will be played on Source Radio this afternoon. The shows called Sophie's Springboard.
Vic will be getting a song played also!
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137425 - 02/19/18 03:24 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Nice tune. The title hook is really nice as were the overall lyrics and story line. I really like this but have few suggestions.

I was a bit thrown off by the chorus verse, then two verses, then the chorus again. For me, I wasn't sure what was the chorus. Also, not a lot of contrast between the chorus and verses early on. Around 2:00 the choruses change up and become a clearer contrast to the verses. Maybe that fits the style, but I'd prefer to start with a more familiar verse/chorus and provide more contrast between them.

I was also slightly thrown off at first how the song starts with "kid stuff" like "candy bars" and "cuts on knees" and later talks about a prince sweeping her off her feet. Seemed like a really fast transition and the time order a bit off. For example, in the second verse you say "nursery to college in the blinking of an eye" and then talk about "grade school" so it was like going back in time a little. I suggest looking closely at how time moves through the verses. I'd open that second verse with "Nursery to grade school in the blinking of an eye" and end it with her finishing high school.

If you did swap the first chorus and verse you could make the transitions a bit clearer. Verse one about nursery to grade school, verse two about grade school through high school, verse three about college through leaving the nest.

Another thought is to mix up the second line of the chorus so at each stage she's dreaming more and more grown up dreams. The first chorus would be the "sugar coated trees and chocolate fountains stand". The second dream could be about "Falling out with her best friend, making up again" and the third dream could be about the prince sweeping her off her feet.

I came late to this, it's a lot of suggestions, and I see the song is doing well on Soundclick, so feel free to ignore but it's just what struck me as I listened to this really nice song.

..ant


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#1137455 - 02/19/18 12:08 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Ant
Thanks for your ears and comments.
I started the song with the chorus to set the scene and felt
also it needed the hook in early to set up the verses,
i know this is usually the other way around lol
To explain the shift i used "times in between"
To my ears there is a subtle shift in the c to the v and as the song moves it becomes more obvious.
This is the direction i wanted really.
No the v c v c structure is'nt in here but if it works i don't believe it matters.
The song has done well on SC number one on two charts
It's also had plays on the UK BBC programme Introducing plus a play on Source Radio so it's been successful.
And i thank Mike's work on it the reason why
Cheers Ant
Travis

Last edited by Travis david; 02/19/18 12:17 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137696 - 02/23/18 11:18 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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The song received a further play on Source Radio today


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1137791 - 02/24/18 09:27 PM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Great imagery, Travis - and I love the bouncy Irish feel. Congrats on getting it played!

Scott

#1137803 - 02/25/18 08:52 AM Re: Her pillows not big enough.. Mike Zaneski/ Travis [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks Scott appreciate your listen and comments
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

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