Who's Online Now
35 registered members (Barry David Butler, Dave Rice, Deej56, couchgrouch, David Snyder, Alanjack, 9ne, Calvin, dironmills, 4 invisible), and 300 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Lynman Bacolor
Lynman Bacolor
Caloocan, Philippines
Posts: 1,222
Joined: March 2007
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
How Important is Your Talent ?
by RonnieDean. 02/19/18 09:05 PM
Looking for Co-Writers
by Alanjack. 02/19/18 07:49 PM
Breaks to Gray
by Deej56. 02/19/18 07:45 PM
Strength in Numbers
by Deej56. 02/19/18 07:29 PM
Donít Say Just Pay
by Deej56. 02/19/18 07:27 PM
McCrea, Owen and Sassoon
by Deej56. 02/19/18 07:19 PM
"DO"
by Deej56. 02/19/18 07:14 PM
Any Ideas How to hook up songs with local singers
by RonnieDean. 02/19/18 06:07 PM
Make your mind up
by RainyDayMan. 02/19/18 05:00 PM
Maria Blue (a floyd jane co-write)
by Janice & Bud. 02/19/18 04:31 PM
I'm Coming Home (soldier tribute)
by Janice & Bud. 02/19/18 04:23 PM
Hard to Hurt
by Marvin Adcock. 02/19/18 04:18 PM
Stand For Peace (song)
by Neil Cotton. 02/19/18 04:01 PM
Not Ladiesí Men
by Neil Cotton. 02/19/18 03:56 PM
Fenwick Dubin
by Calvin. 02/19/18 01:57 PM
God Bless This Kid
by RonnieDean. 02/19/18 01:54 PM
Silent Treatment
by Travis david. 02/19/18 01:49 PM
I had to flu
by Fdemetrio. 02/19/18 01:13 PM
Church On A Hill
by Neil Cotton. 02/19/18 11:58 AM
Her pillow's not big enough Mike Zaneski/ Travis
by Travis david. 02/19/18 11:08 AM
Holocaust / Never Again
by Barry David Butler. 02/19/18 09:03 AM
Shooting Stars
by joro. 02/19/18 07:41 AM
When Blue Turns To Gray
by joro. 02/19/18 07:18 AM
Urban Poetry
by Fdemetrio. 02/19/18 06:49 AM
29 Degrees
by joro. 02/19/18 06:46 AM
It Won't Be Very Long
by ant. 02/19/18 02:47 AM
Ain't Givin' Up_Dedicated to Floyd Jane
by ant. 02/19/18 02:44 AM
This Far
by ant. 02/19/18 02:34 AM
Welcome to the Family
by RichMac. 02/19/18 02:14 AM
Jersey Country
by Johnny Daubert. 02/19/18 12:14 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,365
Travis david 10,567
Kevin Emmrich 10,535
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,571
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,751
Mike Dunbar 8,574
glynda 8,572
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,866
Corey 7,357
couchgrouch 7,254
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Dave Rice 6,433
Mark Kaufman 6,429
Joe Wrabek 6,400
ben willis 6,090
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,718
Linda Sings 5,604
Vicarn 5,445
niteshift 5,353
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,610
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,351
Neil Cotton 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Cindy Miller 4,178
Tom Shea 4,173
TamsNumber4 4,005
nightengale 3,965
Roy Cooper 3,914
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,770
Dan Sullivan 3,710
MFB III 3,687
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
beechnut79 3,313
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
E Swartz 3,036
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,877
Harriet Ames 2,868
Nigel Quin 2,802
MidniteBob 2,706
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Nelson 2,496
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,241
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
Wendy D 2,177
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
Ray Thyer 1,929
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
maccharles 1,816
floyd jane 1,752
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Noel Downs 1,620
Iggy 1,610
Cal 1,574
Rick Heenan 1,566
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,454
Tom Franz 1,452
Ralph Blight 1,440
Chuck Crowe 1,435
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,406
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
Janice & Bud 1,272
GocartMoz 1,268
DakLander 1,265
Ian Ferrin 1,230
PeteG 1,228
Glen King 1,210
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
summeoyo 1,085
Gerry 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
joro 1,056
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
lane1777 980
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 912
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
90 dB 745
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
Andy K 733
ant 728
Jackie444 722
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
9ne 670
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Pat Hardy 596
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 565
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
Irwin 541
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
Roderic 522
Moosesong 521
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
Deej56 468
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
R&M 448
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
iggyiggy 378
Cecilee 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Alek 352
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1136118 - 02/02/18 11:48 AM Thereís a Place  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 76
Maroon_Corey Offline
Serious Contributor
Maroon_Corey  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 76
Richmond, VA
Hi, Guys,

I welcome any and all feedback and criticism. I plan to remove the vocal from the recording and use the instrumentals as a backing track for solo variety performances I do. In these gigs, I usually serve as background music for the most part (parties, events, etc.). Trying to start working in some originals :-)

Thanks!

Maroon

https://soundcloud.com/maroon-corey/theres-a-place-draft

There'a a Place

Lyrics:

Thereís a place in my heart
where I long for you completely.
Believe me, cause itís true.
From the start, the whole day through.
I love you! My thoughts are always of you.

Thereís a space, deep inside,
Iíll no longer hide;
Iíll show it altogether.
Forever, how I will.
I will share myself with you!

I need your love to rise above.
You gave this here man wings
to fly so high that this love wonít die
no matter what tomorrow brings!

See my face.
Search my eyes.
You might be surprised to realize
Iíve waited all this time
just to let all my feelings come through.

Guitar solo

Rest your head
Upon my chest
Hear my soul confess
The words my lips profess to you
Honey tell me youíll be with me, do.
For always!
In all the big and small ways.

I know it ainít wrong,
And it sure feels right
that I'm in love with you!
Now if youíll come along,
Iíll never quit tryiní
to prove my passion runs true.


Thereís a place in my heart
where I see us hand in hand
to start again brand new.
Baby, I know that you see it too!
Darlin,
My heart belongs only to you,
only to you!

Last edited by Maroon_Corey; 02/02/18 03:56 PM.
#1136122 - 02/02/18 12:11 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,433
Dave Rice Online content
Top 40 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,433
Texas
Finally... we get to hear the music and vocal from the man of many words. I would say this one is "country pop" if a genre tag must be applied... and I thought your vocal was strong and very capable. Enjoyed the lyric and was impressed with your guitar work. The backing blended well and I was delighted to finally hear some of your music. Best of luck with this one. ----Dave

#1136127 - 02/02/18 01:51 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,694
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 100 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,694
California
Hi Maroon,

Reading the lyric first I thought it had a few things on the cliche-ish side, such like "wings" and "wrong/right" but you were careful to tweak the phrases so they're not the most common way we hear them used.

Listening..I love hearing a sophisticated chord progression in a country tune. Rarely do ya hear a dominant seventh flat nine chord, but it works great here, and does give the song a bit of a "country-jazz" feel. From this song, I'd say you listen to John Hiatt, cuz the way you heat up reminds me of his work on "Bring the Family" Check out his original version of "Have a Little Faith In Me" If you are looking for songs to add to your show--I know you'd tear it up in similar fashion. You have a soulful voice and I enjoyed hearing it and hope to hear more. smile

Mike


Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/02/18 03:30 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1136134 - 02/02/18 02:59 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 670
9ne Online content
Top 500 Poster
9ne  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 670
N.E. of Toronto
Very nice! I could hear Ray Charles or Willie Nelson on this....
-Mike

#1136135 - 02/02/18 03:11 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,365
Calvin Online content
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,365
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello Maroon,


Very nicely done, cool vocals and a real nice overall sound.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1136141 - 02/02/18 06:34 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 190
David Snyder Online content
Serious Contributor
David Snyder  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 190
North Carolina
Maroon,

Well I have to say I never expected country. As others have pointed out, you use some delightful little jazz chords in there that are reminiscent of Willie Nelson, or Ray Charles, and that lends a charming nostalgic factor.

Being part of a professional Nashville Songwriter's group, I am used to what some lovingly call the meat grinder, blender, dicer and chopper. When you submit songs in that crowd, even if they are Grammy award-winning worthy (in your own mind) you can expect them to get shredded and pounded to a pulp if everything is not 110% in the pocket and every guitar line is not absolute perfection. I am used to this crowd so it rolls right off my back. Let's just say it can get rough out there.

The song is nice and sweet and romantic and the chord progression is pleasing. Nonetheless, if you were to talk "production" with any number of pros here, they would more than likely make some suggestions about various aspects of the "pocket." I am not going to go there because I just want to enjoy the song for what it is. But if you want no holds barred feedback on the rhythm, pacing, tempo, percussion, pocket, or even the guitar voicings that are being used in the solo (if you plan on doing a commercial production) that is something some of your forum friends might chat with you gracefully about offline, and offer some tips and specific suggestions.

I am glad to see you posting and hope this forum gives you a chance to experiment and grow in whatever form you want to take it.

Personally, the way I roll is this--when I am posting a tune here, I am basically saying, I had fun with this y'all, hope you have fun too. I think that is what you were doing here as well, with this tune.

Offline, and behind closed doors with my musical colleagues, things get a little more open, like, "David, that was pretty much the worst guitar solo I have ever heard in my life. You gotta do it again." But, as I say, among the comforting arms of friends and colleagues while we are actually in the studio and I have the chance to do that second take.

If you don't already (and you probably do) you may want to think about having both approaches in your life as you venture forth into the brave new world of online posting. I am pretty sure I am singing to the choir here, however.

Nice to see you here and I hope that makes sense.

Thanks for sharing and keeping writing. It's a journey. No, strike that, it's an Everest Climb. No, strike that, it's a pain in the..

Well I guess you get the point.

smile


David Snyder, Composer, Author
Singer-Songwriter, Producer
Regional Chapter Coordinator, NSAI
www.davidsnydermusic.com
www.reverbnation.com/davidpsnyder
#1136142 - 02/02/18 06:36 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,496
Nelson Offline
Top 200 Poster
Nelson  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,496
Baltimore, MD
Nice to hear some of your work, Maroon

Soulful vocal and the solo does remind me a bit of Willie.

You have a nice clean sound... production wise.



"A Simple Man...... making simple music" ~Nelson
#1136168 - 02/03/18 09:58 AM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,446
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
Top 40 Poster
Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,446
Wisconsin
Good to be able to hear your art, Maroon, but I did not see this coming! grin What I find the most intriquing is the unexpected chord progressions, keeping me riveted throughout. And the unusal phrasing. And the different structure. Oh yeah, and the expressive vocal. Well yeah, just able eveything, from start to finish! I enjoyed every bit of your very unique style and, unlike some others, I don't mind being honest about saying this in public...no PM required. smile Hope to hear more in the future.

RIcki

#1136193 - 02/03/18 01:54 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,797
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,797
USA
Hi Maroon,

This song is really heartfelt. I like the gentle melody and the time you take to tell this story. The music lifts you up and takes a hold of you. I can see couples dancing to this song. And as the song progresses, after that lovely solo, I enjoyed how the emotion builds and really opens up.

Very nicely played and sung. A really lovely song! smile

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1136212 - 02/03/18 07:35 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 76
Maroon_Corey Offline
Serious Contributor
Maroon_Corey  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 76
Richmond, VA
Thanks to everyone for having a listen and for the feedback thus far!

Dave,

Guilty as charged on general verbosity! Yep, I think of it as a Country ballad. I am glad that you enjoyed it, Dave. I can't take credit for any of the instrumentation as it all came from ďBand in a BoxĒ software.

Mike,

Yeah, there are some lyrics on the cliche side which may bear taking another look at. I guess that in a way I thought that they might work to my favor in giving it a feel of familiarity, but it could be heard as trite.

The song owes a lot to old-time Jazz which I believe had a good deal of influence on Western music of the past. I wrote my first version of this song a number of years back and either consciously or sub-consciously I started the song with some of the chord relationships from the old standard "Makin' Whoopee".

While I was unfamiliar with him, that John Hiatt tune is really nice. I almost recorded a live piano part (albeit much simpler than Hiatt's) to go along with this recording, but thought it sounded fine without it. I like his unexpected key change up a full 5th late in the song. Makes me wonder about adding a key change into this song to break it up...

9ne/ Mike,

Glad you enjoyed it and those two are definitely artists I've listened to a good bit, especially Charles.

Calvin,

Also glad you enjoyed.

David,

Glad to surprise you. While I didn't set out to be nostalgic, I do agree that it comes across as such.

Iím not sure what everything you are saying on about your methods of posting feedback has to do with the song Iíve posted here. Iíve certainly surmised that you don't care for my style of feedback. While I donít care to debate it, Iím sorry you don't like it.

I understand and respect your intentions in posting your music here in the feedback forum. Mine are different. I'm open to hearing any ideas, criticisms, etc. with the possibility of altering things or using the ideas in future work. I feel like critique on the composition itself will be the most useful to me. You are more than welcome to make specific suggestions on production. Just bear in mind my intended use for the recording in the casual solo performances I mentioned in my original post.

Nelson,

Glad you enjoyed it. Are you saying that the guitar solo reminds you of Willie?

Ricki,

Glad to surprise you too! Good to hear that the harmony maintained interest. I didn't really think too much about the phrasing, but you are right - it is a bit different. I think that, like the chords, it owes something to the old song "Makin Whoopee". As far as the structure, it is a 32-bar form using an AABA pattern in the 8-bar phrases - very common to Jazz standards such as "I've Got Rhythm" and many others. Glad you enjoyed.

Kristi,

Glad you enjoyed it and that the lyrics came across as heartfelt, which was my intent. Also great to hear that it is danceable as I was kind of envisioning a slow dance ambiance with this recording. An emotional response to the song is more than I could hope for!

Again, thanks to all and feel free to add any further critique that strikes you.

#1136217 - 02/03/18 09:54 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: 9ne]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,496
Nelson Offline
Top 200 Poster
Nelson  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,496
Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Maroon_Corey

Nelson,
Glad you enjoyed it. Are you saying that the guitar solo reminds you of Willie?

Yeah... Willie came to mind during the solo.


"A Simple Man...... making simple music" ~Nelson
#1136221 - 02/03/18 10:22 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 442
TC Perkins Online content
Top 500 Poster
TC Perkins  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2015
Posts: 442
Virginia
Fusion of country and adult contemporary with some solid vocals.

It sounds good as is. The only thing I think could improve it is to bring that rhythm guitar up a bit in the mix and/or give it more left channel presence since it is laying down the bulk of the harmonic progression. If you double tracked that part it would sound amazing - something to think about.

Some nice guitar playing, and excellent vocal delivery.

Nicely done!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
#1136238 - 02/04/18 08:47 AM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,770
Kolstad Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kolstad  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,770
Denmark
I like it here. To me it sounded like Broadway, as I could easily hear this in a play or movie. So the steel gtr took me a bit out of that mood. Not that it didnt sound good, just that I didnt really connected with it for the imagined genre I had.

Best parts was all the clever internal rhymes you put in, and the way you stretched in your vocals towards the end. Loved that!

If anything, I could imagine adding another instrument to the mix after the guitar break, to support your vocals towards the end. perhaps just let the guitar pla some licks.

I'd also suggest to try the song more simply with just a piano "a piacere", like they would on broadway. To me, that would make the song complete.

Nice work!


Buzz Tracks
Making media sweeter

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/buzztracks
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/buzztracks
#1136240 - 02/04/18 09:31 AM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,977
Barry David Butler Online content
Top 100 Poster
Barry David Butler  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,977
Sebring, Florida USA
I love the song and your voice just the way it is. I wouldn't change a thing as it sounds SO REAL....Leave your voice a few warts and all....B

#1136241 - 02/04/18 09:37 AM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 190
David Snyder Online content
Serious Contributor
David Snyder  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 190
North Carolina
Maroon,

I do have a few potential style ideas for "production" I just don't like saying them in a public forum because I don't want to come across as being "critical" or a "jerk" on a perfectly lovely song that is absolutely fine the way it is. It is as simple as that. I just do not feel comfortable in making certain comments about tempo and genre and stuff out loud in public but I will send one or two extremely simple and extremely polite suggestions via PM and you can use them if you want. But I may be totally off base, who knows. Since you are using Band in a Box on this, my comments may not be feasible, so I would prefer to PM.

Again, I like the song exactly the way it is, but I have a few ideas for alternate takes. If what I am about to send via PM is off base, I will never ever ever send another PM suggestion to you again, I promise. If it does make sense, I may do it again in the future only with your permission. It is simply what I feel most comfortable with--especially if you are simply making a simple, generic Band in a Box backing track and alterations do not lie within the realm of possibility, feasibility or even desire.

Thanks. Hope that makes sense.


David Snyder, Composer, Author
Singer-Songwriter, Producer
Regional Chapter Coordinator, NSAI
www.davidsnydermusic.com
www.reverbnation.com/davidpsnyder
#1136250 - 02/04/18 02:38 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,177
Wendy D Offline
Top 200 Poster
Wendy D  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,177
Atlanta, GA USA
I have listened a couple of times. I stink at love songs so can't really make any comments lyric wise re: content, although the lyric seems a little generic when you read it without hearing the music. I hear a complex structure working in the language and it sings way better than it reads because of this.

I liked Kolstad's suggestion of a solo piano/voice version as an alternative version.

Your voice is amazing. I was wondering if you put some "country" in your voice for this? Loved how you sang "wangs" like Guy Clark or Dave Carter would.

This may be good/bad but I feel like there's a Randy Newman like quality to this. Which makes me enjoy it even more, I think. It's too bad that you are going to use it as backing music for now. If you get to perform it live the ladies will love it.


http://www.reverbnation.com/wendydumond

https://soundcloud.com/#mamby-p

http://www.reverbnation.com/donsechelski

Link for Blackfoot Daisy band


You think I'm just another jive folk singer but I'm a master in the art of criminology..Tom Russell
#1136254 - 02/04/18 03:41 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,694
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 100 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,694
California
Maroon,

Makin' Whoopie! I knew I was hearing some old number in your chord progression. Of course! I'm familiar with the Nilsson version of that song--it kept bugging me, it sounded so familiar. Thanks for saying.

I've listen to your song a few more times and think this must go over really well live. I bet you're quite the showman, just judging from how you let loose a little on this recording.. smile

Wendy, I was thinking the same thing while I listened. Randy Newman, especially his early songs and soundtracks like "Ragtime" are full of bass movement that is incremental, with a lot of rising and sometimes decending half steps that are not always the chord roots but sometimes the thirds, and over those bass notes are secondary dominant chords--it's a distinct sound that few practice anymore. This song does that. Van Dyke Parks does it, Brian Wilson did it, Randy Newman did and continues to write that way. I love that "parlor music" sound--you really get a sense of a different time and place with that kind of chordal movement..

Mike


Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/04/18 03:57 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1136300 - 02/05/18 09:02 AM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,752
floyd jane Offline
Top 200 Poster
floyd jane  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,752
Tampa
Maroon,

Enjoyed the listen. Reminiscent of the older Country piano guys - Mikey Gilley, Ronnie Milsap, Charlie Rich... (which sort of made me wish it was piano-based instead of guitar...)

A nice take-me-back-in-time listen...

floyd

#1136351 - 02/05/18 04:10 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 76
Maroon_Corey Offline
Serious Contributor
Maroon_Corey  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 76
Richmond, VA
Nelson,

Cool, gotcha!


TC,

Interesting you hear some AC in it - thatís cool. I appreciate the feedback on the rhythm guitar. There is one strumming and one fingerpicking throughout. I get so accustomed and intimate with the harmony that I probably hear a lot of it in my head. Iíll experiment with bringing it up and/ or adding a duplicate track of it.

While I canít take credit for the canned guitar recordings Iím using, Iím glad you enjoyed the song.


Kolstad,

Even though I wouldnít have expected it, I can understand your hearing Broadway. The song that provided some harmonic inspiration came from a 1920ís musical originally. I guess there arenít many country musicals other than Oklahoma! Funny - the couple of people I played this for were wanting to hear more steel guitar, but they were listening to it as a Country song.

Glad the internal rhymes were a benefit! The old school hip hop I sometimes listen to may be an influence there. And yeah, some added guitar licks or violins or something would be a nice touch after the solo - I might have to see what I can do there.

You know, I actually did a quick recording of an earlier version with piano and vocals only. Iíll post it below. Iíll also post a quick take with piano in a Jazz style due to your feedback and othersí. Thanks for the remarks!


Barry,

Iím glad to know it came across as genuine. There are definitely some warts! And that was after 5 takes on the vocal in my jury-rigged setup. I identify, though. I heard some cracks and stuff and thought ďI kind of like it like that a little - imperfectĒ. Now some of the pitch inaccuracy, Iím not exactly thrilled with. Thanks.


David,

Sounds just great.


Wendy,

The lyrics are a bit generic, arenít they? Iím trying to decide how much of a negative that is. While I like to write lyrics, I donít consider myself a true lyricist. I wonder if I were to look over the most popular slow dance songs throughout the decades how much overlap and generic wording I would find. Maybe I can make a casual project out of itÖ It was definitely written with the melody in mind - glad to hear it sings well.

Due to your, Kolstadís, and othersí recommendation, Iíll paste a link to an older version below with piano only, as well as a quick Jazz rendition with piano.

While amazing is definitely an overstatement, Iím glad you liked the vocals. I definitely Country-fied it up a bit with pronunciations and yodel-y things. But if you had heard me speak as a young child in rural NC with parents from the mountains, my speech patterns might not have sounded so different. I still remember my 2nd grade African American teacher trying to get me to pronounce the word ďwhiteĒ correctly and laughing all over herself.

Yeah, Randy Newman does seem to use chord patterns like these in some of his songs like you and Mike are saying. And while I will definitely be singing it live when solo, Iím now seriously considering giving my Jazz group a lead sheet to try playing it on gigs - with all live instruments of course. And if the women like it, thatís good for everyone in my experience!


Mike,

You bet, glad to scratch the itch and name that tune. Iíve never performed this live, so weíll see. While Iím not a great showman by any means, Iíll definitely try to sell it. As Ella Fitzgerald sang, ďĎTaint What You Do, Itís the Way That You Do ItĒ!

And yeah, I did end up using a number of bass notes that werenít the chord root! I seem to remember Jaco Pastorius doing a lot of that with Weather Report, too.


Floyd,

Glad to take you down memory lane a bit. I think that there are a lot of Country fans who long for some nods to the past. I never thought anyone would mention Ronnie Milsap. He and Alabama were probably the Country artists my mom played the most in the house growing up as a kid, so they definitely influence the vocal. Take a look at my links below for piano renditions.


Links regarding the above comments:

Prior recording of an earlier abbreviated version with piano and voice only (different key, some slight melody and chord differences) - Earlier Demo

Quick new recording of the song with piano and voice only, but in a Jazz style (in a key too low for me, with the mic too close to my face, and struggling with my poor piano skills) - Jazz Style Demo

Thanks!

Maroon

#1136376 - 02/05/18 08:20 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 11,915
Scott Campbell Online content
Scott Campbell  Online Content

Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 11,915
Lakeland, FL, USA
Very cool, Maroon. Love the melody and chord progression. Can't pin it to a genre. Your voice is country but I don't think the song is. More like Great American songbook. I can hear Willie Nelson doing this, as others have mentioned. Musically, it also has the feel that Dylan had on parts of Love and Theft. Just a really pleasing piece!

I Scott

#1136453 - 02/06/18 08:47 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,036
E Swartz Offline
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,036
Ohio
Maroon,

I really like your song, such a great vibe and emotional ride! Vocals very Willie Nelson-esk for me--yet a wider vocal range you possess. I think you have a winner. For me production-wise, I'd like to hear a fairly dominant piano supported by the other instruments--JMO. Loved this, and welcome back around.......but take it easy with your critiquing fingers, else you may wear them out and we'd lose ya--don't want that--kidding you!

steady-eddie

#1136456 - 02/06/18 09:53 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 914
Martin Lide Online content
Top 500 Poster
Martin Lide  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 914
Houston, Texas
Very Trad.
Very honky-tonk, smoke-filled bar, slow dance.
A little Ray Charles.
Willy-esque on the guitar solo.

I live in Texas. I liked it. wink

#1136458 - 02/06/18 11:48 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,433
Dave Rice Online content
Top 40 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,433
Texas
Hi Maroon: (Is that really your name? I ask because most of the folks here, per Brian's request,
actually use their real names in their posts.) After all, relationships in this business are more important than ever. (Then, of course, you may be using a "nom-de-plume" to keep "hangers-on" from swamping you with autograph requests, gherming you with CD's and memory sticks... or other time consuming aggravations.) Given today's Internet problems, it may be a security measure for you... but it would be nice to know... if you are to gain our trust and eventual support at JPF.

Having said all that, please do that which makes you comfortable. Since I've "chided" you before about not posting songs (and now you have)... you may wonder why I only post songs demoed by others here at JPF? Although I sing, I am not real pleased with my vocals and do not feel the need for critiques. I write to please myself, first and foremost... but always with the intention of having singers/performers with talent... do covers of my work so I can be plugged into the income stream. I tend to be my own worst critic and will re-cut a song at the drop of a hat.... if I hear something that sounds less than what I seek in the message and genre of the recording. Few, if any of my recordings are perfect but I do the best I can with what I have available.

I do post my songs on another free site, usually four or five at a time and then "replace them" with a different set from my catalog about two weeks later... even sooner if the number of listens exceeds my target objective based on past listening history. (refer to the link below my name) For years, I spent more time at the Song Ramp than here at JPF... but it has announced that it will be closing it's doors by the end of 2018 unless a miracle happens. Many of the stalwarts there have died, retired or just given up. They are attempting to establish a Facebook Group. Many of their current members are also here at JPF. We do what we must to "promote" our Music.

Very early in your post of this song, you gave us the caveat that you cannot take credit for the instruments being used for most of the backing. To me, the backing is only important insofar as it helps get the gist of the song across by enhancing the sound and vibe of what you intend. Frank Sinatra did not play any instruments in his recordings, (maybe a piano from time to time) nor did he direct the orchestra or do many or most of his arrangements. The overall effect is all that is important. I don't care if you recruit the Dalai Lama to play one of those long, weird horns or beat a gong while spinning a prayer wheel. Music is music whether it comes from a kazoo (as Wendy used recently) or BIAB... or an Arranger Keyboard such as the one I use. We must do what we can to make our songs as attractive to our audience as possible.

I just wanted you to know. Things have certainly livened-up since your arrival... and I believe it enhances our knowledge and understanding. Use of laymen's terms would be more informative because most of us are not musicians. Thanks for your participation and for caring enough to comment. ----Dave

Last edited by Dave Rice; 02/07/18 09:21 AM. Reason: spelling errors
#1136461 - 02/07/18 12:43 AM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 468
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 468
Maroon,

I wish I could give you as thoughtful a critique as you cared to give on my ownóalas, thereís nothing on this real, real pretty song on which my thoughts and limited skills could add value. What I can say is that your vocal, IMHO, helps make this song; itís honest and compelling, in the way that makes one want to keep listening. And really, itís that chord progression (as others have noted) that pulls you in. Iím less troubled than others by the lyrics relying on some more basic or used elements; to me, if it works within the framework of the song and best expresses what you are intending to expressóas I think it does hereóthen go with it. Ultimately, it's the marriage of words and sound that makes a song sing. The whole, IMHO, is often more than itís parts. To me, the words here strike true with the melody.

That said, Iím guessing that if you are thinking of doing something commercial with this, then length might be a challenge. But Iíve never been one to advocate shoehorning a song into someone elseís expectations of how long a good song should be.

All the best, Maroon. Really loved hearing this.

Kindest regards,

Deej

#1136493 - 02/07/18 09:39 AM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,446
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
Top 40 Poster
Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,446
Wisconsin
OMG...he can scat as well!!! grin That was awesome! Quite a different feel to it that way. Which do you prefer?

Ricki

#1136514 - 02/07/18 05:02 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 980
lane1777 Offline
Top 500 Poster
lane1777  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 980
south of the mason,dixon line
Maroon really enjoyed this, just a solid all around song. Hey my " two cents? don`t ever stop giving those great
critiques you know if you do you`ll be flooded with requests to look at songs and posts...just my thought.
I had a song was killing me, I couldn`t write it...had it around forever.I asked "m.a.b to take a look? then

I threw it out...lol, damn where were you when I started that damn thing....lol "just say`n...be you "man..

Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1136583 - 02/08/18 08:07 PM Re: Thereís a Place [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 23
RichMac Online content
Casual Observer
RichMac  Online Content
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 23
Hi Maroon.

I enjoyed the main version of your song and felt it would be right at home in the big band era.
All very professional in my opinion.
But the jazz version wooo hooo that just blows me away.
The phrasing and intimacy make the song more personal and just my cup of tea.
Sorry I'm not up to technical reviews.

Cheers.


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
dironmills, antrikshbali, JameyStenson, playmoregigs, dariojohn
21005 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics117,609
Posts1,107,918
Members21,005
Average Posts Daily73
Most Online1,506
Mar 16th, 2017
Just Plain Quotes
"A lot of people will tell you that preparation is what will make you successful. But I think that people misunderstand exactly what that means sometimes. The type of preparation you need most is the kind that allows you to instantly seize an opportunity, change your course based on a momentary circumstance, and grab hold of the totally unexpected when it happens, and allow it to take you for the ride of your life! That is the kind of preparation that can lead to the most enjoyable type of success." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0