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#1135920 - 01/30/18 09:07 PM Something's Wrong  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
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RichMac  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36

Hello,

Long time since I posted anything here.
So ---- just for fun.
Any comments most welcome.

https://soundcloud.com/tuigorge/somethings-wrong

Cheers.

#1135933 - 01/31/18 02:12 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: RichMac]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,319
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,319
Rich,

Nice inviting opening . . . pretty sound behind the vocals. Some very clever lyrics here, as well. Really like that last verse starting with “There’s so much light”; nice contrast throughout those lines. To be honest, the last two lines of the second verse could be revisited—word choices like “climate” and “givin’ me the blues”—maybe it's just me (and it usually is), but I think there’s an opportunity to be more creative and specific on those lines.

On the whole, this was a fine listen, Welcome back to JPF!

Kindest regards,

Deej

#1135985 - 01/31/18 03:14 PM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: RichMac]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,184
lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,184
south of the mason,dixon line
what a gentle song, I enjoyed the work, welcome back./ Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1135992 - 01/31/18 03:59 PM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: RichMac]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 482
Paul Churchfield Offline
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Paul Churchfield  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 482
Nashville, TN
Nicely done!
I hope you decide to come back more often and soon.
I enjoyed your song!
Paul

#1136011 - 01/31/18 08:29 PM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
Casual Observer
RichMac  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36

Hi Deej and thanks for the welcome and for useful comments about my song.

I will certainly give more thought to the two lines you mention.
Will try to find a more interesting way to include climate change and past upsets.
Probably won't re record but will slightly alter the live version.
Thanks for taking the time.

Cheers.

#1136012 - 01/31/18 08:33 PM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
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RichMac  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
Thank you Lane for the welcome comments.

I like the gentle description.
Glad you enjoyed this.

Cheers.

#1136013 - 01/31/18 08:37 PM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: Paul Churchfield]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
Casual Observer
RichMac  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
Thank you Paul for the nice welcome.

If you enjoyed the song then it's job is done.
Now to start on the next one.

Cheers.

#1136039 - 02/01/18 09:52 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: RichMac]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,765
Dave Rice Online content
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Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,765
Texas
Hi Rich:

Welcome home. I enjoyed my listen. Moving on, I'm told, can be difficult... but I like the way you told the story and offered "hope" at the end. Best of luck with it. ----Dave

#1136051 - 02/01/18 12:17 PM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: RichMac]  
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 219
David Snyder Offline
Serious Contributor
David Snyder  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 219
North Carolina
Hey don't I know you!!

Hey Rich!

Great song brother. Really well done. Good to see you.

smile


David Snyder, Composer, Author
Singer-Songwriter, Producer
Regional Chapter Coordinator, NSAI
www.davidsnydermusic.com
www.reverbnation.com/davidpsnyder
#1136271 - 02/04/18 08:20 PM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: Dave Rice]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
Casual Observer
RichMac  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36

Hi Dave.

Thanks for the welcome and for listening to and enjoying my song.
They can be very gloomy so I try to get a cheerful resolution.

Cheers.

#1136272 - 02/04/18 08:29 PM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: David Snyder]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
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RichMac  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36

Hi David.

Yeah. Haven't been here for ages though.
You have always been a most positive influence and I follow your songs with some amazement.
What next?

Cheers.

#1136285 - 02/05/18 01:57 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: RichMac]  
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 497
TC Perkins Offline
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TC Perkins  Offline
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 497
Virginia
There's a ghost walking on my grave and I'm not even in it! Loved that line.

Pretty good song, and the production is decent. I am not a fan of the drums panned to one side but it worked okay.

The music fit the lyrics well. Overall, it's a good write.

Welcome back!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
#1136286 - 02/05/18 03:23 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: RichMac]  
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 43
kevinism Online content
Serious Contributor
kevinism  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 43
Dublin, Ireland
Nice gentle song .... an easy listen in the best sense of the words.

Kevin

#1136309 - 02/05/18 10:31 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: RichMac]  
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
floyd jane Offline
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floyd jane  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
Tampa
A good listen, Richard.

(showing your "softer side" on this one!).

fj

#1136321 - 02/05/18 11:37 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: RichMac]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,091
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,091
California
Hi Rich,

Some great lines and thoughts in here like

Maybe the reciever is tuned a touch too fine
And the feelings I'm receiving are not mine


--that gives me chills..

Cool song!

Nice to meet you.. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1136449 - 02/06/18 06:57 PM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: RichMac]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
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Kristi McKeever  Offline
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Hi Rich,

I like this song as it has some insightful sentiments and a gentleness about it.

This line gives me much to think about: "There's so much light and so much shade and so much in between"

and "write a song and aim for something higher" is a nice, positive line that is cool because it's like just another part of the day (which is awesome!)

Good work!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1136466 - 02/07/18 03:20 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: TC Perkins]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
Casual Observer
RichMac  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
Thank you TC.

I had forgotten about the drums.
Happened in the merging somewhere and wasn't noticed until nearly finished and I didn't want to redo it.
Thought it wasn't too noticeable.
Glad you think the song is ok overall.

Cheers.

#1136467 - 02/07/18 03:24 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
Casual Observer
RichMac  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
Hi Kevin.

For this one I like the east listening tag. And gentle. Thank you.

Cheers.

#1136468 - 02/07/18 03:27 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: floyd jane]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
Casual Observer
RichMac  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
Hi Floyd.

You always find something positive to say.
Thank you.
A quite good friend once described me as a wildly out of balance Libra.
Oh well.

Cheers.

#1136469 - 02/07/18 03:33 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
Casual Observer
RichMac  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
Hi Mike.

Thanks for the comments and the greeting.
Delighted to make your acquaintance.

That thing about receiving thoughts and feelings from others.
Hmmm i don't know. Maybe there's something in it.

Cheers.

#1136470 - 02/07/18 03:46 AM Re: Something's Wrong [Re: Kristi McKeever]  
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
RichMac Offline
Casual Observer
RichMac  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 36
Hi Kristi.

Thank you for checking out the song and particularly the lyrics.
Your comments are very encouraging because your lyrics are so good.

Cheers.


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