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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
Borrowed Love V Loves not so simple when its borrowed you can't always count on a tomorrow There's those lives in between and those moments that are never seen C Wish I'd found a woman of my own My penance wouldn't be nights alone While she's playing happy families with the husband she says she loathes I wish I'd found a woman of my own V I hate myself for this deceiving but I hate it more when she's leaving Tell myself its a big mistake One day soon three hearts are going to break V Christmas and drunk rapped on her door big fellahs punch knocked me to the floor I composed myself knocked once more love I borrowed doesn't want me anymore C
Borrowed Love don't belong here anymore
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
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He's a glutton for punishment in the last verse, Travis. Not sure if "Christmas" fits, either. You also set up the line "I composed myself knocked once more", but to me it doesn't really resolve itself in the final line. Maybe it should say something like: "One night, drunk, I found myself outside her door big fella's punch knocked me to the floor, feeling like a fool, saddened and sore, I returned what I borrowed. It's not here anymore"
...or something that joins the last two lines better.
Vic
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