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I made some changes to this tune based on valuable feedback I received from folks.
1. Lyric rewrite
2. New lead vocal
3. New mix

Let me know what you think - the good, the bad, and the ugly! :-p

UPDATE: new mix, 2/9/18

OUT OF TIME <-----song link

There you stand
Pretty head down in your hands
You can't decide
If it's worth this white knuckle ride

Complain there is no laughter
And you're too numb for tears
I hope you will remember
All those years,
I kept on sayin'

You're out of time
No demand, no deception, no excuse or exception
You're out out time
No appeal or misdirection, no proviso for exemption
You're out of time
No petition, no distraction, no extension or retraction
You're out of time
No stipulation or pretension, no last ditch intervention

I could find peace of mind
If I walked away
You could find someone new
To play your game
I see clearer now
Than I have in years
Rattle someone else's cage
Watch me disappear

If you have questions
Answers are easy to find
But you might not like the fact
I am no longer blind

Complain there is no laughter
And you're too numb for tears
I hope you will remember
All those years,
I kept on sayin'

You're out of time
No demand, no deception, no excuse or exception
You're out out time
No appeal or misdirection, no proviso for exemption
You're out of time
No petition, no distraction, no extension or retraction
You're out of time
No stipulation or pretension, no last ditch intervention

You're out of time

Last edited by TC Perkins; 02/09/18 10:44 PM.

If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
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Very nice, T.C.

Sounds ready to me. I believe you got some good advice on the first time around... and took advantage of it. Good luck with it. ----Dave

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TC,

I really like the song, especially the "drive" with the guitar tone. I think it sounds great all round, no major nits, just one small "possible" polishing nit.......I think there are some places where lead vox gets upstaged a bit--maybe add 1-2 db to lead vox or automate lead vox to rise in a few spots. I'm listening on headphones that do boost the bass slightly--so am making that assessment from this headphone perspective which may not be accurate for other speaker systems--so take that into consideration.

Interesting lyrics, not ones that will be grasped quickly--not a bad thing, as the music captures you quickly--a good thing.

Nice work here!

steady-eddie

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This is a well thought out piece.
I would agree with Eddie with the vocal getting lost in instruments at times.
You would know what to do about that.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

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Good job...maybe the first line could be more captivating.

Is it worth this
White knuckle ride
There you stand
Pretty head down in hands can't decide

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TC,

This sounds great to me. I wish I could put something together this smooth from a production perspective. And given my limited ear and skill set in that regard, I'll offer up only this, as I listened: I wish the lead guitar/lead riff was just a bit deeper, particularly given the vocal that does with it. The totality of sound seems maybe too high.

Sorry if that's not helpful--I don't know the technical terms to help convey what I think I'm hearing. I guess maybe a depth on the instrumentation.

But, listen, this is pretty awesome as it is. Lyrics are really strong; like the back-up vocals. Solid, solid tune.

Best regards,

Deej

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Good sound deserves a bump so here it is.
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Originally Posted by Dave Rice
Very nice, T.C.

Sounds ready to me. I believe you got some good advice on the first time around... and took advantage of it. Good luck with it. ----Dave


Thanks, Dave. Ready for what, I am not sure, lol.

Originally Posted by E Swartz
TC,

I really like the song, especially the "drive" with the guitar tone. I think it sounds great all round, no major nits, just one small "possible" polishing nit.......I think there are some places where lead vox gets upstaged a bit--maybe add 1-2 db to lead vox or automate lead vox to rise in a few spots. I'm listening on headphones that do boost the bass slightly--so am making that assessment from this headphone perspective which may not be accurate for other speaker systems--so take that into consideration.

Interesting lyrics, not ones that will be grasped quickly--not a bad thing, as the music captures you quickly--a good thing.

Nice work here!

steady-eddie


Thanks, Eddie. I would have to agree with you on the vocal pocket. It does need some tweaking. This song was at the top of my range, and I was loathe to push it out there too far. The vocal needs to sound a little bigger and not get lost in the bridge. Good ears, and your headphones are working just fine!

Originally Posted by Vicarn
This is a well thought out piece.
I would agree with Eddie with the vocal getting lost in instruments at times.
You would know what to do about that.

Vic


Thanks, Vic. I agree with both of you. I will make some adjustments soon, and update the file on Soundcloud.

---------------

Many thanks for the listens and comments.

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
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Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
Good job...maybe the first line could be more captivating.

Is it worth this
White knuckle ride
There you stand
Pretty head down in hands can't decide



Thanks, Neil. Hmmm, I will have to think about this suggestion and see if it grows on me.

Originally Posted by Deej56
TC,

This sounds great to me. I wish I could put something together this smooth from a production perspective. And given my limited ear and skill set in that regard, I'll offer up only this, as I listened: I wish the lead guitar/lead riff was just a bit deeper, particularly given the vocal that does with it. The totality of sound seems maybe too high.

Sorry if that's not helpful--I don't know the technical terms to help convey what I think I'm hearing. I guess maybe a depth on the instrumentation.

But, listen, this is pretty awesome as it is. Lyrics are really strong; like the back-up vocals. Solid, solid tune.

Best regards,

Deej



Thanks, Deej. I think I hear what you are referring to (correct me if I am wrong). The guitars being really the only thing going on other than drum/bass/vocal could use more depth and sound bigger from a dimensional point of view. I did try to achieve this but it's tricky without a room full of amps to pick from and a room mic in a nice room. I think I can improve it somewhat, and I'll give it a shake when I fix the vocal.

Originally Posted by Travis david
Good sound deserves a bump so here it is.
Travis


Thanks, Travis. I am glad you liked it.

------------------

Thanks for the listens and valuable critiques.

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
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Cool hook on the guitar. Steve Miller would be proud. Good mix overall but could use more punch and differentiation. I'd first look at separating the bass and guitar, they really are stomping on each other. You can hear it when the bass comes in. The first slide sounds find then the bass disappears when the guitar comes in. The guitar could use a big bass cut.

The vocal is a little buried but I'd get that bass/drum/guitar section nailed tight as it drives the song, then look at how to have the vocal still pop out from that - maybe a cool effect or dead-center with the bass and the guitars panned hard LR?

BTO's "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet" might be a good reference here. Compare how the bass and guitar there find their own spaces. The vocal is kind of thin but it works with that songs as the guitars and bass line really drive the song.

Nice work!

..ant


My albums "Rhythms of Life" and "Out On The Road" are on Bandcamp, Spotify and Apple Music.
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Thumbs up

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Hi TC,

As I listen..

Loving the panned guitars..

Loving the call.response vocals..

Mixed great..

Love the drama created in the spaces between downbeats in the verses, especially early on..

Cool lyric..after the Moody Blues came out with "One More Time To Live" on EGBDF almost fifty years ago (! OMG where has the time gone ?!?!?) I remember thinking, "great, now I can't use a string of "tion" words in my song cuz I'll be thought a copycat." .I think the Statute of Limitations is way passed and you are safe, lol....besides you use your string of "tion" words in a totally different way and in a song with a totally different tone and feel..

Very enjoyable..

Loved it.. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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TC, musically this sounds great. In my head I could hear more vocal harmonies to fill it out some but everything else has a full, rich feel to it.

Lyrically, the chorus is really strong and clever and leaves no doubt that this relationship is over, but lines like this:

"You can't decide...", and "If I walked away... " seem like they contradict that.

"All those years, I kept on sayin..." to me this says he's known for a long time it was over and yet then he says:

"I could find peace of mind If I walked away...", and "I see clearer now Than I have in years..."

Isn't this saying he's just now figuring it out? And he's still in the "if" stage?

I think either the chorus needs verses that have the same strength of conviction, or the verses need a less decisive chorus. To me, they're at odds with each other and take something away from a really solid sounding song.

Ricki

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Hi T.C.,

This is so cool and catchy. I really like the chorus and how the lines all interact with each other with the vocal and music. I just happened to catch Ricki's post above me and she makes some good points, imo. For me, what I took out of it was the message is a definite statement and this person is just coming to this conclusion and it has not been without ambivalence "all those years, I kept sayin'" etc...he could have walked away years ago but now, this is IT.

Anyway, hope something in there is helpful! It sounds great!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Originally Posted by ant
Cool hook on the guitar. Steve Miller would be proud. Good mix overall but could use more punch and differentiation. I'd first look at separating the bass and guitar, they really are stomping on each other. You can hear it when the bass comes in. The first slide sounds find then the bass disappears when the guitar comes in. The guitar could use a big bass cut.

The vocal is a little buried but I'd get that bass/drum/guitar section nailed tight as it drives the song, then look at how to have the vocal still pop out from that - maybe a cool effect or dead-center with the bass and the guitars panned hard LR?

BTO's "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet" might be a good reference here. Compare how the bass and guitar there find their own spaces. The vocal is kind of thin but it works with that songs as the guitars and bass line really drive the song.

Nice work!

..ant


Thanks, Ant. Funny, I did think of Steve Miller when I got going on this; loved his stuff. I plan to re-mix this as soon as I get this new song out. I will go listen to that BTO song; loved their stuff as well.

Originally Posted by Ricki E. Bellos
TC, musically this sounds great. In my head I could hear more vocal harmonies to fill it out some but everything else has a full, rich feel to it.

Lyrically, the chorus is really strong and clever and leaves no doubt that this relationship is over, but lines like this:

"You can't decide...", and "If I walked away... " seem like they contradict that.

"All those years, I kept on sayin..." to me this says he's known for a long time it was over and yet then he says:

"I could find peace of mind If I walked away...", and "I see clearer now Than I have in years..."

Isn't this saying he's just now figuring it out? And he's still in the "if" stage?

I think either the chorus needs verses that have the same strength of conviction, or the verses need a less decisive chorus. To me, they're at odds with each other and take something away from a really solid sounding song.

Ricki


Thanks, Ricki. You mean more harmonies in the chorus or on the verses?

Actually, the song is not about it being 'over'. If you listen to the opening lyric, "you wonder if it's worth this white knuckle ride" - the song is about a relationship on the rocks. The "out of time" is that time is up to make up her/their minds. So, in that light, the other lyrics are just supporting this.

Originally Posted by Kristi McKeever
Hi T.C.,

This is so cool and catchy. I really like the chorus and how the lines all interact with each other with the vocal and music. I just happened to catch Ricki's post above me and she makes some good points, imo. For me, what I took out of it was the message is a definite statement and this person is just coming to this conclusion and it has not been without ambivalence "all those years, I kept sayin'" etc...he could have walked away years ago but now, this is IT.

Anyway, hope something in there is helpful! It sounds great!

Kristi



Thanks, Kristi. It's a minimalist song in terms of instrumentation but I thought it worked fairly well. See my post above about the 'interpretation' of the lyrics (which I usually leave up to the listener but this song is more straight forward than some of my other lyrics). They/she are finally at the crossroads and the song tries to reflect the mixed feelings but also push the conclusion that she is out of time to decide.

Glad you liked it.

-----------------

I appreciate the listens and critiques, as always.

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
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Hello TC,


VERY CATCHY, I'm impressed & jealous too.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

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Hi TC

Love the backing.
Agree the vocal could be louder and maybe meaner.
Neat rocker though.

Cheers.

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Originally Posted by Calvin
Hello TC,


VERY CATCHY, I'm impressed & jealous too.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart


Thanks, Calvin. Don't be jealous - you have some pretty good stuff yourself!


Originally Posted by RichMac
Hi TC

Love the backing.
Agree the vocal could be louder and maybe meaner.
Neat rocker though.

Cheers.


Thanks, Rich. I am not completely happy with the vocal either and agree that it could have a bit more attitude.

-----------

I appreciate the listens and comments, as always.

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
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TC,

This is really good. I enjoyed listening. Got a sense of a BTO track (guitars/bass/drums) with vocals by The Knack...a cool combination.

The mix sounds good to me. Drums are cool - "busy" the way a lot of Rock of the era was... excellent guitar riffing...

I had no problem with the vocals - they are plenty clear enough - maybe "too clear". Generally, songwriters (as most JPF'ers are) want vocals to be more upfront. Good for Country and singer/songwriter stuff... Personally, I think a Rock vocal should really "sit in the mix". Most of us spent a good deal of our youths arguing about what some lyrics really were...See what happens if you roll off the high EQ (on the vocal) completely above 4K - maybe even down to 2-3K (you might need to then bump the volume up a dB or so). If you add a reference track to your DAW (like a similar BTO song), you'd be surprised how "dull" the vocals sound compared with the way we tend to mix these days (particularly songwriters/home recordist). This is not a knock at all - I really enjoyed the song and think it is well done...

fj

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Didn't hear the original, but love this version. Top draw quality.

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A killer groove TC.
The intro sets it off perfectly.
It has a funky Muscle Shoals - Skynyrd - Allman Brother type feel to it... excellent outro
I don't know a thing about production but I will say, I like how clear things are and how perfectly placed everything seem to be.

The harmonies to my ears sound right on point and I'm loving the guitar work.

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Well, TC, I can't quite recall this as against the original. But re-reading my comments on the original version, whatever reservations I had, well forget them . . . because this is very, very cool. Kicks from start to finish--like it a ton. Great, great job! Good luck with this one--it's deserving of better fortunes!

Kind regards,

Deej

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Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski
Hi TC,

As I listen..

Loving the panned guitars..

Loving the call.response vocals..

Mixed great..

Love the drama created in the spaces between downbeats in the verses, especially early on..

Cool lyric..after the Moody Blues came out with "One More Time To Live" on EGBDF almost fifty years ago (! OMG where has the time gone ?!?!?) I remember thinking, "great, now I can't use a string of "tion" words in my song cuz I'll be thought a copycat." .I think the Statute of Limitations is way passed and you are safe, lol....besides you use your string of "tion" words in a totally different way and in a song with a totally different tone and feel..

Very enjoyable..

Loved it.. smile

Mike





Hey Mike. Sorry I didn't respond sooner; the multi-quote thing keeps the post shorter but it has its drawbacks (keeping track of replies). I didn't even think about the 'tion' thing when I wrote this; it just came out that way.

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the listen and comments.

Originally Posted by floyd jane
TC,

This is really good. I enjoyed listening. Got a sense of a BTO track (guitars/bass/drums) with vocals by The Knack...a cool combination.

The mix sounds good to me. Drums are cool - "busy" the way a lot of Rock of the era was... excellent guitar riffing...

I had no problem with the vocals - they are plenty clear enough - maybe "too clear". Generally, songwriters (as most JPF'ers are) want vocals to be more upfront. Good for Country and singer/songwriter stuff... Personally, I think a Rock vocal should really "sit in the mix". Most of us spent a good deal of our youths arguing about what some lyrics really were...See what happens if you roll off the high EQ (on the vocal) completely above 4K - maybe even down to 2-3K (you might need to then bump the volume up a dB or so). If you add a reference track to your DAW (like a similar BTO song), you'd be surprised how "dull" the vocals sound compared with the way we tend to mix these days (particularly songwriters/home recordist). This is not a knock at all - I really enjoyed the song and think it is well done...

fj


Thanks, Floyd. I tried to make the vocals a bit more prominent on this tune than I usually do because it is more towards the country genre. I think the vocals could sit better, too, and as I listen to it again, chilling the highs out might be just the thing. Good ears!

Originally Posted by RainyDayMan
Didn't hear the original, but love this version. Top draw quality.


Thanks, bro! I'm glad you liked it.

-------

I appreciate the listens and comments, as always.

I will catch up on replies soon, and try not to miss anyone this time.

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
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Originally Posted by Nelson
A killer groove TC.
The intro sets it off perfectly.
It has a funky Muscle Shoals - Skynyrd - Allman Brother type feel to it... excellent outro
I don't know a thing about production but I will say, I like how clear things are and how perfectly placed everything seem to be.

The harmonies to my ears sound right on point and I'm loving the guitar work.


Thanks, Nelson. I love the Allman brothers, and southern rock in general.

Originally Posted by Deej56
Well, TC, I can't quite recall this as against the original. But re-reading my comments on the original version, whatever reservations I had, well forget them . . . because this is very, very cool. Kicks from start to finish--like it a ton. Great, great job! Good luck with this one--it's deserving of better fortunes!

Kind regards,

Deej


Thanks, Deej. I'm glad you liked it. The feedback helped me make this better. I am not sure if it's 'done' but it will work for now while I work on new stuff and fix some older tunes.

---------------

I appreciate the listens and comments.

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
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This is very good. To me the mix is fine. I would have put a little distortion on the guitar but that’s all a matter of taste. I think you should come back to your hook “Your out of time “ more. I would have put each word on the beat to give it more umph. Your Out Of Time. Just something to think about.

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Sorry for the incorrect typing, autocorrect. Should be “You’re out of time”

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We are very late to the party and all the accolades have been given.

Suffice it to say that we agree with them all.

We enjoyed this really well done rocker and look forward to adding it to our SC fav playlist.

Kudos on a great productions that simply ROCKS on our monitors.

J&B


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on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
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Hey, TC...

Good strong song. Good vocals. Good instrumentals. Good drive... Nice job...

malin


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Very cool. Good song.
Really good performance smile

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Originally Posted by Bob_Dietrich
This is very good. To me the mix is fine. I would have put a little distortion on the guitar but that’s all a matter of taste. I think you should come back to your hook “Your out of time “ more. I would have put each word on the beat to give it more umph. Your Out Of Time. Just something to think about.


Thanks, Bob. I went back and forth on guitar distortion in the tune. It wasn't an easy decision! But at the end of the day, I felt my guitars (I used two: a Les Paul and a Schecter XXX) put enough umph in the tune just driving the clean channel hard.

Hmmm, I will have to consider that idea on the vocals.

Originally Posted by Janice & Bud
We are very late to the party and all the accolades have been given.

Suffice it to say that we agree with them all.

We enjoyed this really well done rocker and look forward to adding it to our SC fav playlist.

Kudos on a great productions that simply ROCKS on our monitors.

J&B



Thanks, Janice & Bud. I'm glad you liked it!

Originally Posted by BonzaiWag
Hey, TC...

Good strong song. Good vocals. Good instrumentals. Good drive... Nice job...

malin


Thanks, Malin. I am not happy with the lead vocals (but I never am for the most part) but I'm glad you enjoyed the tune.

Originally Posted by joro
Very cool. Good song.
Really good performance smile


Thanks, Joro. My first version of this was so-so. Feedback helped me make it even better (as well as time to improve my mixing skills). There will probably even be a round3 on this song as I feel the main vocals could be better, and there is always room for improvement on mix and mastering.

--------------

Many thanks on the listens and critiques, as always.

Peace,
TC

Last edited by TC Perkins; 04/06/18 03:07 AM.

If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
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always a treat to listen to you T.C , I can`t hear a flaw..I`m no pro, so this is just a thumbs up.....Lane



"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction,
one might save you from the other...Vincent

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