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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 200
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 200 |
Dennis Wright Song title/ '' Rhonda again'' © 2018 _______________________________ You been coming home late at night When I ask you where you been all you wanna do is fight I'm getting tired of playing these games with you If you don't tell me the truth it's over between me and you
Where you been I wanna know where you been I'm not going to ask you this again I got a phone call last night saying you were at the Holiday Inn Are you seeing that girl Rhonda again
You broke my heart so many times in the past I forgiven you over and over again, and like a fool I took you back You promised that you would never cheat on me again You got five seconds to tell me where the hell have you been
Where you been I wanna know where you been I'm not going to ask you this again I got a phone call last night saying you were at the Holiday Inn Are you seeing that girl Rhonda again
I been through hell with you everyday it's something new I turned my back on everybody I love to be with you When you didn't have a penny to your name, I took care of you God knows I been nothing but good to you
You can save your excuses Dry those tears from your eyes I'm sorry baby ain't good enough I heard it so many times
Where you been I wanna know where you been I'm not going to ask you this again I got a phone call last night saying you were at the Holiday Inn Are you seeing that girl Rhonda again
Tag: You can save your excuses Dry the tears from your eyes It's over between You and I
Last edited by Dennis Wright; 01/15/18 06:39 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 |
Liked the title and I think it had a song feel. I would try for some newer phrases rather than cliches. I think your rhymes need work. (again again you, you you) A good start that some work will likely improve. Good luck! -Mike
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 200
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 200 |
Thank you Mr. Mike for your taking the time to review my song lyric and for giving me your feedback. I really appreciate it. Please know that I take all feedback into consideration. Thanks again sir for taking time to review my lyric and for your feedback. God bless, Happy New Year. Dennis,
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Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 359
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 359 |
I like the chorus. I would not keep using Holiday Inn over and over as it will bore the listener to hear that over and over, but mix it up with another line that rhymes.
Good title too.
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 200
Serious Contributor
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 200 |
Hello Mr. Ronnie Dean, First, I would like to say thank you sir for taking time to review my song lyric and for giving your feedback. I'm currently working on revising some of the lines in this song lyric. Thanks again sir for commenting. Happy New Year Dennis,
Last edited by Dennis Wright; 01/16/18 07:44 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,580 Likes: 13
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,580 Likes: 13 |
Brian Austin Whitney Founder Just Plain Folks jpfolkspro@gmail.com Skype: Brian Austin Whitney Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney "It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..." -Brian Austin Whitney "Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
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Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 134
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 134 |
I love the story-line so many women live trapped in these relationships struggling to hold on to a dream that has long gone. great theme.
Just a writer of words
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