10 members (Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill),
4,088
guests, and
270
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Good morning JPFers all over the place! I've been re-visiting old songs lately, discarding some, re-doing others. This one though is almost like new, just last year. I sent my guitar/vocal to Mike Z and he waved his wand, said a few magic words and...well, have a listen. I hesitate to say it's a done deal and I won't change it no matter what, because I'm not opposed to tweaking things if I think it's valid. I really do want to hear what you folks FEEL when you listen to the song. If you feel nothing, I need to hear that too. As always, I'm not looking for commercial radio airplay, just trying to tell interesting stories that some people may want to listen to. So, bring it on and thanks for listening. Ricki https://soundcloud.com/rickib/outside-clevelandOUTSIDE CLEVELAND I left some things outside Cleveland Heart and soul, now I’ve trouble feeling I dream in shades of grey Hear all those words unsaid And there they are again Where I left them Waiting outside Cleveland I know I’ll be OK I’ll forget to remember him everyday For now, it’s no use But when the tether on my heart cuts loose It’ll be like nothing happened Just outside Cleveland I left those things just outside Cleveland I’d like them back cause now I need them I’m stronger for their loss There’re lighter days ahead I’ve opened up to hope The spell’s weakened Fading outside Cleveland I know I’ll be OK I’ll forget to remember him everyday For now, it’s no use But when the tether on my heart cuts loose You’ll see, it’ll be like nothing happened Over there, somewhere, just outside Cleveland Outside Cleveland Outside Cleveland Outside Cleveland ©Ricki E. Bellos (BMI)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909 |
The vibe and lyric work.
the last line of each verse could be simplified to Outside of Cleveland
Also the first line of v1 and v3 should be the same to make the melody more consistent...JMHO
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Hi Ricki.
I really like the vibe of this song. What a cool title too, just one of those words (Cleveland) that phonetically sounds cool with music and verse.
I just have one thought "for me/my reaction." Because there are a lot of Cleveland's in the song, I'd like to see you re-visit 3rd verse, 1st line. I'd like to "not" hear Cleveland again at the end of the line--just let the 1st verse have that double emphasis and ending tag. You might start that line out saying similarly, "Those things I left _________________" You would also avoid using so many "I" at sentence beginnings by changing that one line--whatever you say there could add to story or drama, and we'll know it has to do with outside those days back in Cleveland. Use or lose.
Loved this guys, nice write, nice production concept Michael Z. Enjoyed this!
steady-eddie
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Hypnotic......... In a Steely Dan... Muscle Shoals..... Carly Simon type a way.
Wonderful work guys
Ricki are U recording to a metronome because everything Mike's adding is always right in the pocket, timing wise.
You 2 are like a finely tuned piece of machinery.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Neil. I could simplify those lines but felt it was worth adding the "waiting" and "fading" in order to show some story movement, from V1, being stuck thinking about the past, and then V2, trying to move on. I started out with the title, the opening and closing lines of the verses plus the closing of the choruses all the some but it felt boring and emotionless to me. Since I'm not concerned about commercial value, I thought I'd change it up where I could and since I'm the one singing, I don't really mind that it's a little inconsistent. Thanks for your thoughts, and for taking time to listen.
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Well, that's something to think about, Eddie. I didn't want all those "outside Cleveland" phrases to be the same but it never occurred to me to leave one out...hmmmmm... Thanks for listening and glad you liked it and Mike's vision. I swear, he can read minds! Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks, Calvin, I had a lot of help.
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks, Mr. Nelson. I don't think I've ever heard Steely Dan, Muscle Shoals and Carly Simon mentioned in the same sentence, let alone in reference to me! Most definitely a click track. I have the natural timing of a slug so there would be no practical way for anyone, myself included, to add any more tracks to my guitar or vocal track without it. I mistakenly thought a click track would throw off my sense of timing when, in reality, I didn't have any and it forced me to Be in time. I swear by it. Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513 |
Nice blend of styles on this ballad.
The performance, and arrangement are solid. The mix is good but not great.
Mixwise: 1. The vocals are overpowering the song; they need to come down a bit. They sound "big" - they don't need to be overly loud. 2. I love the reverb you used, Mike, but it needs to be a bit more subtle. 3. The overall mix is a bit wishy-washy. The song has a tendency to get lost in the "room." More automation to bring out some of the quiet elements from time to time to make the mix more dynamic would be great as well.
It sounds good now. With a bit more clarity, and punch in the mix it will sound great.
Peace, TC
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 |
Ricki,
This is a beautiful tune. I don't have a fine enough ear to comment on production--but it sure sounds fine to me as is. I'm mixed regarding Neil's comment about dropping the "waiting", "just" and "fading" before "outside Cleveland." A part of me wants to drop it from a structural perspective--to keep it uniformly just "outside Cleveland" gives it some symmetry. But then I like the extra syllables on a few of the lines. So, go with what feels good. Or better yet, go with what sounds good. And this is sounding pretty awesome to me. Great job!
All the best,
Deej
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498 Likes: 1
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498 Likes: 1 |
How it makes me FEEL?... It felt dreamy and there was a longing throughout the song. The opening line made me want to listen more, to see what you had left outside Cleveland. I like it Ricki! Nice job!!! -Paul
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18 |
Thanks Neil, Eddie, Nelson, Calvin, TC, Paul, and Deej.. This was a fun project in that once I composited the pedal steel together, I had a clear vision of what I wanted for this beautifully sad song of Ricki's. The only other thing I had to do was stay mindful to NOT use a series of Bob Seger notes on the lead guitar on the tag lines. TC, would you mind, in the future, if you are going to make so many nits, adding somewhere in comments to ME (in some shape or form) that you are just expressing your opinion, please? It's not a big deal, but I'd appreciate it--because to a great extent these things are subjective and you ask a hundred people and they will have varying opinions..okay? Thanks.. As to the vocal volume, for the first few notes I feel Ricki's vocals are too loud as well, only once the song's rolling I like them where they are. And in retrospect, like how they "announce themselves" so brashely. BTW, I use lots of automated faders on everything. I have to keep in mind two things in regards this. The one thing folks say consistently about your songs is that your vocals could be LOUDER, so maybe we just have a difference of opinion about where vocals generally should sit in a mix. That, and Ricki generally likes her vocals clearly above the music, and on this particular song, I really liked them there, towering above and "outside" it, as it were.. Once I got the pedal steel composited, I realized that this was beginning to sound like something off The Cowboy Junkie's "Trinity Sessions" album, and I made that the template for this song. I said as much to Ricki. That album polarized critics, btw. Some, including a few folks here, site it as a great recording. Others think there's far too much of a big reverb on everything and bleed through between instruments. Well, it was recorded "live" in a big church...so it goes, lol.. The extra reverb and slight washiness was indeed intentional on this particular song. But because it was intentional doesn't mean you should have different feelings about it; I respect that you don't like the mix. But it works for me. Symbollically, it's like Ricki's voice is the " I " of "I left..outside Cleveland" and the music is Cleveland, and it's all a little bit of a blur when the view is outside, from a distance, looking in..so the mix, to me, kind of organically symbolizes the mood and meaning of the lyric. I mean..there are always lots of subjective reasons, in hindsite, why we like (or dislike) how something works, when inititally this is not the case--we just like it or we don't. My feelings are that everything I produce surprised me a little, cuz I have learned to "go with" whatever project I am working on and let me take it where it wants to go. Do I always take them to safe places where there will be unanymous praise? Of course not. That is the devil that kills creativity: worrying about pleasing everyone. The only person I was aiming to please here, other (and more) than myself, was Ricki, and again, she knows that I am always open to changing anything, any time, and happily so. And I do make judgemental errors, but I listened to this mix a few dozen times and liked it this way, and yes, I can become earblind and not hear problems in mixes, so I appreciate your opinion. Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 01/15/18 09:38 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
I think Mike addressed your production comments, TC. I pretty much leave that side of it in his very capable hands. I trust his judgment and he's never steered me wrong. But thanks for tuning in and sharing your thoughts.
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks Deej, going with what feels and sounds good usually works for me. Glad you liked it.
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks for stopping by, Paul. Glad this made you feel something. That's what it's all about, right? Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks again, Mike for doing what you do.
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513 |
Thanks Neil, Eddie, Nelson, Calvin, TC, Paul, and Deej.. This was a fun project in that once I composited the pedal steel together, I had a clear vision of what I wanted for this beautifully sad song of Ricki's. The only other thing I had to do was stay mindful to NOT use a series of Bob Seger notes on the lead guitar on the tag lines. TC, would you mind, in the future, if you are going to make so many nits, adding somewhere in comments to ME (in some shape or form) that you are just expressing your opinion, please? It's not a big deal, but I'd appreciate it--because to a great extent these things are subjective and you ask a hundred people and they will have varying opinions..okay? Thanks.. As to the vocal volume, for the first few notes I feel Ricki's vocals are too loud as well, only once the song's rolling I like them where they are. And in retrospect, like how they "announce themselves" so brashely. BTW, I use lots of automated faders on everything. I have to keep in mind two things in regards this. The one thing folks say consistently about your songs is that your vocals could be LOUDER, so maybe we just have a difference of opinion about where vocals generally should sit in a mix. That, and Ricki generally likes her vocals clearly above the music, and on this particular song, I really liked them there, towering above and "outside" it, as it were.. Once I got the pedal steel composited, I realized that this was beginning to sound like something off The Cowboy Junkie's "Trinity Sessions" album, and I made that the template for this song. I said as much to Ricki. That album polarized critics, btw. Some, including a few folks here, site it as a great recording. Others think there's far too much of a big reverb on everything and bleed through between instruments. Well, it was recorded "live" in a big church...so it goes, lol.. The extra reverb and slight washiness was indeed intentional on this particular song. But because it was intentional doesn't mean you should have different feelings about it; I respect that you don't like the mix. But it works for me. Symbollically, it's like Ricki's voice is the " I " of "I left..outside Cleveland" and the music is Cleveland, and it's all a little bit of a blur when the view is outside, from a distance, looking in..so the mix, to me, kind of organically symbolizes the mood and meaning of the lyric. I mean..there are always lots of subjective reasons, in hindsite, why we like (or dislike) how something works, when inititally this is not the case--we just like it or we don't. My feelings are that everything I produce surprised me a little, cuz I have learned to "go with" whatever project I am working on and let me take it where it wants to go. Do I always take them to safe places where there will be unanymous praise? Of course not. That is the devil that kills creativity: worrying about pleasing everyone. The only person I was aiming to please here, other (and more) than myself, was Ricki, and again, she knows that I am always open to changing anything, any time, and happily so. And I do make judgemental errors, but I listened to this mix a few dozen times and liked it this way, and yes, I can become earblind and not hear problems in mixes, so I appreciate your opinion. Mike I said I liked the song and it sounded good. All of your mixes are good, I just didn't feel like this was as good as the last couple I have commented on. Of course, this is my opinion; that goes without saying. This IS the MP3 Feedback Page so I am going to give an honest critique to anyone who posts here. You are free to consider what I say or throw it out, that is up to you. You always do a good job but the scale slides, my friend, and I am going to give it to you straight. I want the same from you when you listen to my tunes - don't hold back. I know everyone wants my vocals louder, lol, and I do listen but I am going to stick to my guns just like I would expect you as an artist and producer to do. A difference of opinion? You betcha. That being said, I still want the feedback, and it does influence me when I go to mix. If someone takes the time to go into detail on how I can improve a song or a mix, that is gold, and exactly why I post stuff in this section. Sometimes I will make changes, and other times I will hold fast. One thing I never do is get mad. I have gotten some really good advice posting stuff, and have made changes based on comments people have made. In fact, I specifically have made changes based on comments from you and Ricki. Is this good? Hell yeah, it's good. I just think it could be great. If I didn't think you had the chops to improve it beyond where it is, I wouldn't bother with pointing out what I hear. It is in no way an indictment of your skills which are top notch! If Ricki is 100% happy, that is great and THE most important thing but that is not going to stop me from doing an actual critique :-p Peace, TC
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18 |
Hi TC, I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I "got mad" cuz I wasn't mad at all! I rarely get angry when it comes to artistic decisions and opinions. Life is too short! I do try to listen to what my colleagues have to say and have made many changes to songs based on those thoughts, but I'm not perfect and I can certainly be stubborn. But I do think I owe you an apology because I was so interested in explaining why I made my production decisions that I made you think I wasn't receptive to your ideas at all. Far to the contrary, I respect you and your opinion, TC, and I listen carefully to eveything you say. One might even say I mull what you say over and over in my mind, cuz I really do value your opinion. If I'm gonna give you a bunch of reasons why I did what I did, that shouldn't stop me from making sure you know that of course I hear what you are saying and value it, and so I apologize for giving you the wrong impression by just saying that "I appeciate your opinion" and "I respect that you don't like the mix" but went no further. As to "You always do a good job but the scale slides, my friend, and I am going to give it to you straight. I want the same from you when you listen to my tunes - don't hold back." well thanks, but I will need to figure out why that gives me a sense of impending doom, LOL.. For one, I feel awful cuz I can't critique you back in the same "in depth" way cuz I am listening for pleasure, lately, when I come here, and so really couldn't return the favor, though I know you'd like that--so I am sorry for that, too. But critique away, and don't worry cuz I will either agree with you, or disagree and then give you ten boring reasons why I did what I did--sticking to my guns, as it were..and I'll try to remember that to you "just my opinion" goes without saying and that you mean that even though you don't say it, though I admit it was good (for me) to hear you say it. Are we good? I hope so! Sincerly, Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 01/16/18 02:15 AM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,126 Likes: 29
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,126 Likes: 29 |
Pretty Song folks.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 3,259
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 3,259 |
I'm not sure what happened here with TC and Mike.....I used to sing and record others songs and sometimes take a lyric, find a melody and record it. BUT it was sometimes a real pain. I agree Mike that I mostly share my songs here for fun. I critique others very much unless they ask my opinion. I'm not really looking for critiques on my songs because it is so subjective. I do what I do because that is what I do. I never go back and re record as I just move on to the next song. SO quit fighting ...lol
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks Martin, for listening and letting us know you liked it.
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks for joining in, Barry, although you never said what you thought about the song. Songwriting for me is an ongoing learning experience and I'm always open to helpful comments that may help me become a better writer. That's why I post songs. To share what I've done and to get better at it. But maybe that's just me. Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18 |
I'm not sure what happened here with TC and Mike.....I used to sing and record others songs and sometimes take a lyric, find a melody and record it. BUT it was sometimes a real pain. I agree Mike that I mostly share my songs here for fun. I critique others very much unless they ask my opinion. I'm not really looking for critiques on my songs because it is so subjective. I do what I do because that is what I do. I never go back and re record as I just move on to the next song. SO quit fighting ...lol Hi Barry, I really appreciate your concern for me and TC and have a feeling we will work things out, if we haven't already, but I wanted to make sure you understand that I personally am happy to have critical thought directed my way, for the same reasons TC and Ricki have already mentioned. It's free advice from knowledgeable, helpful, like-minded people, and I want to continue to learn and grow at my craft and as an artist, and there's no way to do that with a closed mind. Though I believe we should all be our own toughest critics, it's important to be able to hear what our colleages have to say, and to at least be able to entertain POVs other than our own. It keeps us grounded, I think. I think you were referring to what I said to TC, that I am not able to critique him or my colleages very deeply right now, at the present time, and when I have been listening to JPFers' work lately it's been with no sharp critical ear, but just for enjoyment. This is hopefully only temporary. It has to do with how much free time I have and stress levels and things like that. Sometimes we just need a break, you know? Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 01/16/18 11:35 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi Ricki. I like the non regimented lyric. The song sort of floats along nicely and we can imagine more than it actually says.
Arrangement wise it's a fine job by Mike. The only nit I have is that there seems to be some sort of artefact in the music which may be some sort of delay effect on the drums. Not sure. To me it's distracting.
All in all it's a good song.
Vic
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Top 30 Poster
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831 |
Hi Ricki:
I always enjoy the honesty of your vocal and "Outside Cleveland" really shines for me. Once again, Mike's magic works well... but then, I don't believe I heard "OC" before he stirred the stew. LOL!
No nits from me... nothing but solid enjoyment. I've been to Cleveland, B-T-W... on my way to Ravanna back in the day of the Military Industrial Complex. Great place in the summer... not so much in the winter.
Thanks for sharing. I wonder what Janis Joplin would have done with this? Probably nothing as good as Ricki and Mike. ----Dave
Last edited by Dave Rice; 01/17/18 08:57 PM. Reason: correct mistake
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1 |
I felt something when I listened to this song because a woman I know just lost her husband outside Cleveland.
As for suggestions, I understand you don't want to change anything and I haven't read the other comments, but for what it's worth.....
The second line of V2 needs a trim. "I won't remember him every day"?
But in my head, the last line of each verse needs to resolve to the 1 chord. The tension set up never gets resolved and leaves me hanging. I might even suggest adding another line to each verse, repeating the hook and resolving to the root chord at the end.
I know this requires a major revision and I won't be offended if you don't want to mess with it!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18 |
Thanks Vic, Colin, and Dave..
I appreciate your kind words, folks. I love this song and told Ricki it sounded to me like a "rainy day hit."
Vic, I used two different drum kits--one panned left, another right. Left had some gated snares and the like, and the right channel cymbals were lending some high frequency sustains to the mix. Maybe it's the lefty gates or the righty cymbals, or combination thereof you're hearing. Cymbal decay can be rather artifactual..that can't be a word..but artificial is wrong too..we'll stick with artifactual, lol..but I can't hear anything like what you're describing.
Thanks again,
Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 01/18/18 06:00 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks for tuning in, Vic and letting me know you liked the song.
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks for listening and for your thoughts, Colin. Sorry to hear about your friend's loss. What are the odds? The line you refer to is actually in the chorus, where I alternate from a short line to long to short to long. It was on purpose, in an effort to introduce a little texture and variety, trying to keep from boring myself. Also, there was just something about the phrase "forget to remember" that has been with me for a long time and I was finally able to utilize it in this song. That's not likely to change. Unresolved tension...kinda goes along with the song, and it does get resolved in the end, right? It's not so much that it would be a major revision to change as that I don't hear it as a bad thing. It took a lot of effort to stumble upon that chord progression totally by accident! Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1 |
Really digging this... Cool melody and chord progression - challenging. In that it can be listened to a number of times and still sound fresh. Yet the melody of the title line is still playing in my head. And the vibe, as Nelson said, is hypnotic. Personally, I liked the vocal out front. And the reverb helped give it the hypnotic feel. Scott
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,235
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,235 |
"The desert's quiet and Cleveland's cold, so the story ends were told.." Ok - I know I'm kind of nutty but how cool would it be if you tweaked this just a bit and added a subtle nod to Pancho and Lefty somehow?
It's very pretty as is. And I liked the dreamy vibe. Just had this idea..
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Dave and glad you enjoyed it. I never thought about it...what would Janis do...maybe after a couple bottles of Southern Comfort I'd know... Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Hypnotic, eh Scott? You are getting very, very sleepy...you will be hearing this melody in your head over...and over...and over... Glad you could dig what we did here. Thanks for listening. Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Wendy, that could be the start of your next song! Thanks for stopping by and getting tangled up in our dreamy vibe. Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280 Likes: 3
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280 Likes: 3 |
Ricki and MikeZ always good music, always like stopping and giving your songs a spin Ricki. Lane
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280 Likes: 3
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280 Likes: 3 |
Ricki and MikeZ always good music, always like stopping and giving your songs a spin Ricki. Lane
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks for stopping by, Lane and glad you liked it. X2! Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18 |
Thanks Lane, Scott, and Wendy.. I appreciate your kind words. Wendy..your comment made me smile, cuz I was fashioning the sound of this song after "The Cowboy Junkies" who's favorite writer is Townes.. Thanks again, all.. Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/02/18 03:15 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 720 Likes: 2
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 720 Likes: 2 |
I felt the emotion when I listen. I enjoy the listen
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2 |
Hi Ricki,
You asked what we feel when listening to the song. I get a mix of emotion really...lol....gentle reflection, a bit of sadness, regret, but this person’s strength is present as well. I think it’s a relatable and universal theme. Here it’s personalized to “outside Cleveland” which makes it a “real” story. Lovely flowing production by Mike. Very pretty vocal and song.
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985 |
Ricki/Mike...
This has a very "personal" feel to it (as so many or your songs do). Like listening to Janis Ian (I think).
A song that really "makes you think"... a good thing.
fj
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
So glad you felt something, Irwin and that you enjoyed the feeling.
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks Kristi, mixed emotions make up a lot of what happens in our heads everyday so, I'm glad I could touch that in you.
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Good to have you posting again, Floyd and thanks for listening. Mentioning Janis gave me goosebumps...At 17 was the story of my teenage life. Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 798
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 798 |
Good song. I love the way you end "Cleveland" on an upnote. Very surprising the first time I heard it and then it feels totally natural afterwards - nice! I must say, I did wonder about "what" exactly was left outside Cleveland - was it "words unsaid"? and why would she want them back now? - but that's not too important. I wouldn't' want it as blatant as "I left my heart in SF".
..ant
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Thanks for tuning in, Ant. Your question is answered in the second line...heart and soul. Why she wants them back I think is self-explanatory or maybe it wasn't as blatant as I thought...? Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 798
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 798 |
Doh! That's so obvious now, not sure why it didn't connect for me.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 187
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 187 |
I got the feelings of nostalgia and melancholy, but the latter is more remembered than current. And in parts, hopeful.
I like the slow pace, gives it a dreamy feeling. The more crowded lines like: I’ll forget to remember him everyday; and especially But when the tether on my heart cuts loose broke that feeling for me somewhat and seemed out of sync with the rest of the song.
Love the melody, and the instrumententation suit the song beautifully.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481 Likes: 1
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481 Likes: 1 |
Ricki/Mike
Obviously I'm a late comer to this one. I like the way it goes back and forth between at first her trying to convince herself that she will get over the guy and things will be alright--then says things like I'd like them back cause now I need them. Great lyrics and the melody matches perfectly. Vocals are great as well. Keep up the greta work, Roger
Roger Sosnowski The happiest people in life are those involved in music
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|