Who's Online Now
8 members (VNORTH2, Sunset Poet, bennash, Gary E. Andrews, Everett Adams, couchgrouch, Fdemetrio, Perry Neal Crawford), 4,124 guests, and 285 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Backhand Blue
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/29/24 07:48 AM
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
#1134325 01/02/18 09:55 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Was uploading a few tunes to band camp today and listened to this one after having almost forgotten about it. I was pleasantly surprised, I don't remember being too gawd awfully pleased the day I finished it. Thought I'd throw it to the wolves again. smile

https://maccharles.bandcamp.com/track/little-karmann-ghia

Last edited by maccharles; 01/02/18 09:55 PM.
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 78
M
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
M
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 78
Loving the Beatlesque vibe with the dominant 7 chords being played on offbeats interspersed with your riff. The idea the lyrics paint take me back to my youth - awesome little story. The bridge and guitar solo definitely felt right.

The main concern I have with the song is that the musical device used on the chorus doesn't work for me. I understand what you are trying to do with the E Major 7 to start it - it certainly provides a contrast. However, it's much too stark and odd of a change to provide a sense of "wow, look at her, here she is" in the context of a Pop-Rock-Retro-sounding tune like this, at least for my taste. Charlie Parker was known in his solos to go between the two, but it always started in a Major 7/9 setting, later working in the dominant 7 for a bluesy feel.

My suggestion would be to continue the chorus in the vain of what really gives this song its musical character - the juicy dominant chords! Try simply beginning it on an E7 and changing the melody notes to suit. If you want more of a contrast, try perhaps starting it on a C7 chord, moving to D7 for "little Karmann Ghia" and then resolving to the E7 for "she's rolling away". Or, just do something other than going to a Major 7.

I think that the melody gives an artist enough of a starting point to play with it and add some more rhythmic variety, rather then beginning every line of each verse on the downbeat of the measure or the pickup to it. The middle of the phrases in the verses could be played with as well, elongating and shortening some notes.

The lyrics also need some attention. There are some instances of passive voice and weak phrases that could be livened up, e.g.:

  • "listening for that funky thing she drives" => "listen up for that funky thing she drives"
  • "the dog can hear it too" => "dogs start barking too"
  • "now you think you see her everywhere" => ?

There are also some words that could be dropped for a less is more approach:

  • "She" in "she rolls on by..."
  • "You" in "you wonder where she goes"

When I envision this song, I imagine it during the daytime - mid morning or sunset at the latest. I can excuse the tiki torch image because it's just such a cool lyric. However, having painted an "I Love You" sign seems a little desperate. Maybe the sign could just say "Hi!" "Hello", and/ or have a smiley face, peace sign, or something more believable.

I could see a Beatles tribute band picking this up as an original tune for recording! Bands like that are always asked for records by their fans, but it feels odd to them to re-record the originals in exactly the same style. Sha-Na-Na did it with a single album in all their years, I think, along with a few one-off singles.

Thanks for sharing!

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Top 30 Poster
Offline
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Hi Mac:

"Throw it to the Wolves again!"... made me chuckle as I read your introductory post. Karmann-Ghia is a delight. It sure brings back some great memories for me. I have no "nits"... simply because it resonates with so many human emotions in such a great way. The melody is perfect and the backing band gets my toes moving even when I do my best to resist. Then there is your vocal... and it brings the song right there to the top of my chart. Is the lyric perfect? Is the song perfect?... maybe so... maybe not... but if "Brian's Rule" is applied... (Does it move you?)... game, set, match. Even the "outro" is delicious!

Loved it, Mac... (can ya' tell?)... and I wish you the best with it. Happy 2018! ----Dave

Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513
Cool song that reminds me a bit of Badfinger (remember those guys?). I think Joey is still out doing his thing, touring and whatnot.

Overall, the song is good, and the production is good. I liked the hook and the ending was nice.

I have no real nits - the song works as is. A bluesy version would be something to consider if you ever wanted to revisit the song again down the road.

Well done!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264
Likes: 4
T
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
T
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264
Likes: 4
You did right Mac this is to good to discard.
Liked it a lot
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Corey, that's a lot to digest, there are a lot of tweaks needed no doubt and I agree on most, but the chorus still sounds right to me.

Thanks for the spin.

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 78
M
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
M
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 78
Very welcome, Mac! Apologies if it was an information overload, and I'm glad that you found some common ground in the comments.

If the chorus sounds right to you, I certainly respect your staying true to your ears. I'd just recommend you experiment with the alternate chords mentioned, if for nothing but exploring the concept.

Keep the music coming!

Maroon

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035
Likes: 2
9ne Offline
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035
Likes: 2
Very cool Mac! I thought starting with the second verse may be better as it's all right there with that cool imagery. For some reason, I really thought that the second line was crying out to rhyme with the first. (and so on)
JUST as an example, (certainly don't want to do any toe stepping) regarding what I mean :

Peace sign painted on a beat up door,
Always drivin' with a foot to the floor
Paisley headband in her hair
Spreadin' flower power everywhere

Liked how you did the chorus-good stuff!

All the best
-Mike



Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Travis,no chance of discarding it....just had almost forgotten about it being part of the 105 songs I did for song a week.

Thanks for spinning it.

Last edited by maccharles; 01/05/18 11:04 AM.
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Tc, bluesy....hmmmm.

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831
Likes: 2
I got a carefree vibe for this fun story that took me out of the horrible wind and snowstorm that is currently happening outside my window! I like the detail about the dog in the car, though I did wonder how you know he can hear the “rattle and hum” too. lol It’s a great visual, that could be more of a visual if we could "see" what he's doing. There’s lots of other images that really define the girl and her playful spirit and it’s captured quite nicely. Very enjoyable song.

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
I remember this from a long time ago. Still sounds great. Thanks for sharing it again, Mac.

Ricki

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Mac,

Cool song and really nice production. It's a little bit as if Gerry Rafferty recomposed bit's John Lennon's "I Feel Fine" and "Ticket to Ride" into a completely new context and groove and the end result is rather original and both old and new sounding simultaneously.

I lose the thread of the chord progression on the second line ("she's rollin' away") of each chorus--aka the chord feels a little nebulous there. Now if I pay attention to the vocal "oohs" I know its a minor six chord, but the rest of the band is playing so melodically that I'm thinking if the bass was simply thumping out the minor six chord root note I'd feel I had my bearings better right there. Tiny nit. But I appreciate the daring, baroque pop approach of the music there.

Loved it, great work, Mac!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Dave, thanks for the review sir!

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Mike, the lyrics are where I hear tweaks needed also, I always copy and log comments for the future, to go over them when I go to rewrite or rerecord later.

Thanks for the spin.

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Kristi, the dog is actually on the porch with the main character smile

Glad it was a carefree vibe, that's what I wanted.

Thanks for the good word!

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385
Likes: 1
D
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
D
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385
Likes: 1
Hey, Mac,

Glad you rediscovered it and shared. Catchy chorus--fun listen.

Regards,

Deej

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831
Likes: 2
Originally Posted by maccharles
Kristi, the dog is actually on the porch with the main character smile

Glad it was a carefree vibe, that's what I wanted.

Thanks for the good word!


Oh, yes he is, isn't he? grin Well, there you go!


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Mac,

Yeah, now Mackie's back in town! (b-darin)

Good to see you back around Mac--miss you and your music. I loved this!

steady-eddie

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082
Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082
Likes: 1
She never looks - but she keeps driving the route. So I hope he keeps trying!

Seriously, this is fabulous. smile

Scott

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Ricki, thanks for the spin this second time 'round.

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Michael, old and new simultaneously.....good description, thanks for the review.

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Deej, thanks for good review.

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 10
Eddie!!.....same back at yazz!

I'm helping demo other artists right now but planning on returning to another three years of song a week afterward.


Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,718
Posts1,160,951
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5