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#1133371 - 12/05/17 08:14 PM In My Dreams  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,570
Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Posts: 2,570
Baltimore, MD
Sorta loosing my creative mojo lately but here's one I've been tinkering with for awhile.

He's lost his wife and trying to get on with his life.
Not a religious guy but as the pain and loneliness is getting the best of him, he begins to sense something...

Another one for my...... Imaginary Baand_Maan!! smile

In My Dreams


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133375 - 12/05/17 09:04 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,695
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Posts: 4,695
California
Hi Nelson,

This is seriously beautiful!

The composition matches the lyric so well. Going to the major in the hopeful chorus feels totally right. This is as impactful to me as the best Peter Gabriel songs that do that, like "Don't Give Up" and "In Your Eyes" and you have a similarly textured voice and can carry a song like this well with a minimal arrangment.

Your lead vocal performance is very straightforward and moving, The phrasing is stellar. I love how you delay the word "side" in the chorus. I like how you punch out key words in your verse harmonies.

The two classical guitars panned hard left and right are sweetly sad (maybe two very similar guitar parts double tracked in the verses? great sound!), and the bowed stringed intrument is suitably brooding as well.

This is my favorite from you. Great work. smile

Check the master audio file at 1:15..there's a strange popping sound down the middle at 1:15 the doesn't seem to belong to your voice or instruments..it might be an MP3 issue..

Mike


Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 12/05/17 09:54 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1133377 - 12/05/17 09:19 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,618
Calvin Online content
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Calvin  Online Content
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello Mister Nelson,


Thanks, your beautiful vocals are a nice early Christmas present to JPF.
You always make such a pleasant recording.
I'm super jealous.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1133381 - 12/05/17 09:44 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 481
TC Perkins Offline
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TC Perkins  Offline
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Virginia
Wow, really nice write, and solid vocal performance. Nice clean production, too.

I really liked this faith based tune. So poignant and not preachy in the least. Your vocals were outstanding.

If you ever decide to spice this up with a little kick, it would be absolutely amazing. A touch of gospel, old school R&B, wish a dash of rock (I can hear it in my head!) - it would be so powerful.

In any case, I really liked this.

Peace,
TC

PS: Mike is right about the 'pop' at 1:15; it almost sounds like someone is clicking their tongue.

Last edited by TC Perkins; 12/05/17 09:46 PM.

If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
#1133393 - 12/06/17 05:30 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,837
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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UK
Hey Nelson.
I just love everything about this.
Beautiful choice of instruments, very fine lyrics, phasing and that layed back, haunting vocal.
The harmonies all add to the experience.

Had to have a second listen.

One for the album.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2
#1133395 - 12/06/17 09:17 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,841
Dave Rice Online content
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Dave Rice  Online Content
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Texas
Hi Nelson:

Creativity goes from sepiatone to technicolor when it is laid down by that pen of yours. Thanks for making my day with this one. You have a multi-faceted talent that makes JPF a brighter, more human place... and I enjoy and appreciate your work. All my best, ----Dave

#1133396 - 12/06/17 09:30 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,079
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Wonderfully haunting Nelson! Brilliant all round so well done
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1133415 - 12/06/17 01:27 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,570
Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,570
Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski
Hi Nelson,

This is seriously beautiful!

The composition matches the lyric so well. Going to the major in the hopeful chorus feels totally right. This is as impactful to me as the best Peter Gabriel songs that do that, like "Don't Give Up" and "In Your Eyes" and you have a similarly textured voice and can carry a song like this well with a minimal arrangment.

Your lead vocal performance is very straightforward and moving, The phrasing is stellar. I love how you delay the word "side" in the chorus. I like how you punch out key words in your verse harmonies.

The two classical guitars panned hard left and right are sweetly sad (maybe two very similar guitar parts double tracked in the verses? great sound!), and the bowed stringed intrument is suitably brooding as well.

This is my favorite from you. Great work. smile

Check the master audio file at 1:15..there's a strange popping sound down the middle at 1:15 the doesn't seem to belong to your voice or instruments..it might be an MP3 issue..

Mike


Mike.
It is gratifying when folks pick up on the small things, like phrasing, which I feel is so important, especially with minimal arrangements, where every little thing is responsible for so much.

Yea, the guitar is double but instead of copying it I played it twice so there would be some minor differences. In the bridge the variations are a bit more pronounced.

Oh yea, I Clipped the click at 1:15, Thx


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133416 - 12/06/17 01:29 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Calvin
Hello Mister Nelson,


Thanks, your beautiful vocals are a nice early Christmas present to JPF.
You always make such a pleasant recording.
I'm super jealous.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin
The thought of someone considering my humble creations a gift…… is indeed a gift to me.

U R 2 Kind my friend


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133417 - 12/06/17 01:32 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: TC Perkins]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,570
Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by TC Perkins
Wow, really nice write, and solid vocal performance. Nice clean production, too.

I really liked this faith based tune. So poignant and not preachy in the least. Your vocals were outstanding.

If you ever decide to spice this up with a little kick, it would be absolutely amazing. A touch of gospel, old school R&B, wish a dash of rock (I can hear it in my head!) - it would be so powerful.

In any case, I really liked this.

Peace,
TC

PS: Mike is right about the 'pop' at 1:15; it almost sounds like someone is clicking their tongue.

Thx for swing by TC
Glad you enjoyed it.

I Clipped that click at 1:15, it was on the vocal track. Thx


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133420 - 12/06/17 02:12 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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E Swartz Offline
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E Swartz  Offline
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Ohio
Nelson,

You-d-man! Just love your unique sound that is exclusively you! Well done all around as already mentioned above.

steady-eddie

#1133423 - 12/06/17 03:02 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,779
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Wisconsin
Oh my...you just keep raising the bar and leave the rest of us scrambling to catch up! smile Well done, Nelson. I love it!

Ricki

#1133445 - 12/07/17 01:24 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Vicarn
Hey Nelson.
I just love everything about this.
Beautiful choice of instruments, very fine lyrics, phasing and that layed back, haunting vocal.
The harmonies all add to the experience.

Had to have a second listen.

One for the album.

Vic

Hey Vic
Always appreciate your pro’s ear.
A second listen, eh? Well, there you go. smile
Thx for swinging by.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133447 - 12/07/17 01:41 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Dave Rice]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,570
Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Dave Rice
Hi Nelson:

Creativity goes from sepiatone to technicolor when it is laid down by that pen of yours. Thanks for making my day with this one. You have a multi-faceted talent that makes JPF a brighter, more human place... and I enjoy and appreciate your work. All my best, ----Dave


It was my pleasure Dave and to you the same for your kind words. I call such expressions, FEATHERS in my cap, to be called upon when I’m not feeling as good about my work.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133448 - 12/07/17 01:43 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Travis david
Wonderfully haunting Nelson! Brilliant all round so well done
Travis

Thank you
I appreciate you stopping in, Travis


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133484 - 12/08/17 12:55 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Dec 2016
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Deej56 Online content
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Deej56  Online Content
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Nelson,

This is fantastic! Hauntingly beautiful from start to finish. Love the accentuating, intermittent harmonies throughout—very, very cool. The lyrics are solid, solid. If this is you losing your mojo, then I can’t wait to hear what you’ve got when you find it again. :-)

One maybe constructive comment (that you should as always feel free to thoroughly ignore): the first line of the second verse seems a little crowded to me; the “eventually” adds a couple of extra syllables that, for me, throws off the smoothness and rhythm of the line. So maybe consider tweaking to delete a syllable or two. It’s a small nit really—I mean, it works fine as is—but vocally it sound a little crunched to me.

Amazing, amazing tune. Loved it!

Best regards,

Deej

#1133534 - 12/08/17 10:01 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,032
TamsNumber4 Offline
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TamsNumber4  Offline
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New Hampshire
Love it, so emotional and original, it is you and I want that cd some day friend...........stop trying to hard and just get back to your music...hugs

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




#1133564 - 12/09/17 12:46 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by E Swartz
Nelson,

You-d-man! Just love your unique sound that is exclusively you! Well done all around as already mentioned above.

steady-eddie

Yo – Yo - Yo- I B D Man…A?

As always Eddie, appreciate you stopping by.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133565 - 12/09/17 12:51 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Ricki E. Bellos
Oh my...you just keep raising the bar and leave the rest of us scrambling to catch up! smile Well done, Nelson. I love it!

Ricki

Thx Ricki and speaking of raising the bar.
You and mike are becoming quite the dynamic duo.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133566 - 12/09/17 01:16 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,228
PeteG Offline
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PeteG  Offline
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Portland, Oregon
Your song is very heart felt - it's kind of like tearing a bandage off an old wound - and looking at the damage and the healing and still holding out hope and resolve for recovery. Well sung and produced. best Wishes --Pete

#1133639 - 12/11/17 02:23 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Deej56
Nelson,

This is fantastic! Hauntingly beautiful from start to finish. Love the accentuating, intermittent harmonies throughout—very, very cool. The lyrics are solid, solid. If this is you losing your mojo, then I can’t wait to hear what you’ve got when you find it again. :-)

One maybe constructive comment (that you should as always feel free to thoroughly ignore): the first line of the second verse seems a little crowded to me; the “eventually” adds a couple of extra syllables that, for me, throws off the smoothness and rhythm of the line. So maybe consider tweaking to delete a syllable or two. It’s a small nit really—I mean, it works fine as is—but vocally it sound a little crunched to me.

Amazing, amazing tune. Loved it!

Best regards,

Deej

Hey Deej
I hear you on the syllable count in "eventually", but was totally intentional and meant to be a bit off beat.
Sorta like a stutter step in a dance.

I actually recorded the finger picking first and as I was writing the lyrics I found it interesting how the notes and the syllables "eventually bringing down these" dropped in a sort of syncopation and stretching "waaalls of pain" brought it back on track. Just love that stuff and tickled pink that it caught your attention.
Whether as a like or not so much, for me its the catch that counts. smile good ear

I enjoy reading your insights here @ JPF.

I appreciate your time and your supportive words, here in particular.




"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133679 - 12/13/17 01:45 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,262
Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Michael LeBlanc  Offline
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Louisiana
What a beautiful dark song.Fantastic lyrics and the music fits perfectly.Enjoyed the listen,Mr. Nelson. Mike

#1133681 - 12/13/17 06:26 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Feb 2007
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Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline


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Crozet, VA
Wonderful song and delivery. Classic Nelson! The arrangement is mighty fine, too. One of my favorite writers and performers comes through again.


"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The 'hard' is what makes it great."
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @ FAWM 2018)
#1133769 - 12/17/17 11:17 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Jul 2004
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Jan Petter Offline
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Jan Petter  Offline
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HAUGESUND,NORWAY
I really enjoyed the listen, Nelson .
Keep up the good work !
All the best
Jan


"You have to react to what's around you in the moment, whatever the music is.
Just think of it as some place you have to enter and you need to find the key."

#1133812 - 12/18/17 11:36 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by TamsNumber4
Love it, so emotional and original, it is you and I want that cd some day friend...........stop trying to hard and just get back to your music...hugs

Tammy

Thx Tammy
It's always great to get a nod from you .


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133910 - 12/22/17 11:47 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
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Maroon_Corey Offline
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A very sentimental, dramatic song that could bring much solace to those with recently departed. I can see this getting shared on social media with many repeat listens from those who need some help expressing their emotions during a difficult time.

The harmonic variety on the chorus and bridge adds a lot of interest and contrast. I liked the choice of using strings in places. There is also some nice rhythmic variety in the melody on lines like "soul seems to shiver" and "eventually bringing down these walls".

I think that the "be" of "be strong" would be better placed on a weak beat. Otherwise, the words you have on the strong beats sound natural throughout the song. Shortly after, the note choice of singing a G flat on "don't know" over your F chord seems a little out of character for the song.

I also think that the very first line could use some more variety in the melody so that "I’m sitting here surrounded" and "by loving friends and family" have more contrast in same way you did so well on subsequent lines. The rise in the melody notes on "I’ll be your light" was particularly nice.

Thanks for sharing!

#1133978 - 12/24/17 04:21 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: PeteG]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by PeteG
Your song is very heart felt - it's kind of like tearing a bandage off an old wound - and looking at the damage and the healing and still holding out hope and resolve for recovery. Well sung and produced. best Wishes --Pete

Happy Holidays to you Pete.
Appreciate you stopping in for a listen and thrilled that you liked it.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133979 - 12/24/17 04:26 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Originally Posted by Michael LeBlanc
What a beautiful dark song.Fantastic lyrics and the music fits perfectly.Enjoyed the listen,Mr. Nelson. Mike

Bonne journée Monsieur LeBlanc
It's always a pleasure to have you come through.
Hope you're having a wonderful Holiday Season


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133980 - 12/24/17 04:34 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Originally Posted by Kevin Emmrich
Wonderful song and delivery. Classic Nelson! The arrangement is mighty fine, too. One of my favorite writers and performers comes through again.

Hey Kevin
Good to hear from you and so glad you liked the song.
U R 2 Kind

Hope you're having a wonderful Holiday Season.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1133989 - 12/25/17 12:09 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Sep 2009
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Mackie H. Offline
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Mackie H.  Offline
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NASHVILLE, TN
Mister Nelson--

A beautiful ballad that pulled me in--with my eyes closed, I could see the timeless story unfold, with sadness of Parlor Music echoing!

It is CLASSIC NELSON!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Mackie

#1134016 - 12/26/17 06:32 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
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David Snyder Offline
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David Snyder  Offline
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North Carolina
Hey Nelson, I don't know how I missed this earlier, but I agree with all that has been said.

This is seriously beautiful!!

Merry Christmas.


David Snyder, Composer, Author
Singer-Songwriter, Producer
Regional Chapter Coordinator, NSAI
www.davidsnydermusic.com
www.reverbnation.com/davidpsnyder
#1134209 - 12/31/17 05:14 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,797
Kristi McKeever Offline
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Kristi McKeever  Offline
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Joined: May 2007
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USA
Hi Nelson,

Wow, such a poignant story....the hope, the despair, the disbelief and the belief! So gently rendered and performed. It really tugs at the heart. I love the flowing melody and harmonies as they highlight specific sentiments. It's a very moving song, delivered with great emotion.

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1134227 - 12/31/17 10:34 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Jan Petter]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Jan Petter
I really enjoyed the listen, Nelson .
Keep up the good work !
All the best
Jan

Thank you very much for stopping by for a listen, Jan.

Happy New Year, 2 U


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1134229 - 12/31/17 11:22 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Originally Posted by Maroon_Corey
A very sentimental, dramatic song that could bring much solace to those with recently departed. I can see this getting shared on social media with many repeat listens from those who need some help expressing their emotions during a difficult time.

The harmonic variety on the chorus and bridge adds a lot of interest and contrast. I liked the choice of using strings in places. There is also some nice rhythmic variety in the melody on lines like "soul seems to shiver" and "eventually bringing down these walls".

I think that the "be" of "be strong" would be better placed on a weak beat. Otherwise, the words you have on the strong beats sound natural throughout the song. Shortly after, the note choice of singing a G flat on "don't know" over your F chord seems a little out of character for the song.

I also think that the very first line could use some more variety in the melody so that "I’m sitting here surrounded" and "by loving friends and family" have more contrast in same way you did so well on subsequent lines. The rise in the melody notes on "I’ll be your light" was particularly nice.

Thanks for sharing!

Thank you very much for sharing your insight.
I'm not really a musician so it's always thrilling / educational to hear folks in the know break down what I've done in a piece, in ways I could never.

Thx again and Happy New Year


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1134231 - 12/31/17 11:26 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Mackie H.]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Originally Posted by Mackie H.
Mister Nelson--

A beautiful ballad that pulled me in--with my eyes closed, I could see the timeless story unfold, with sadness of Parlor Music echoing!

It is CLASSIC NELSON!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Mackie

Thank You Brother Mackie... hope all is fine
As always Sir.........................U R 2 kind

Happy New Year


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1134293 - 01/02/18 12:40 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Oct 2017
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Maroon_Corey Offline
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Richmond, VA
Originally Posted by Nelson

Thank you very much for sharing your insight.
I'm not really a musician so it's always thrilling / educational to hear folks in the know break down what I've done in a piece, in ways I could never.

Thx again and Happy New Year




You're very welcome, Nelson. And make no mistake, you are "really a musician"! wink If you would ever like a recorded voice memo to demonstrate anything I mentioned above, I'm happy to do so. I imagine you get the gist of most of it, though smile

Happy New Year to you too and keep up the good work!
[Linked Image]

#1134333 - 01/03/18 02:51 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 152
Cheyenne Offline
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Cheyenne  Offline
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Florida U.S.A.
I think you are on the right track here

I would suggest you look at some of the musical phrases

And see if you can improve on them ,

More attention applied to The Natural Stress Of Strong and Weak Beats is

something that could improve this song even more

I am still polishing songs I wrote Five or Six years ago, rewriting is the

name of the game, as the competition grows higher everyday

Last edited by Cheyenne; 01/03/18 02:52 AM.

One of the most important principles of songwriting is to remember that a good song is a partnership of many different components, all working together to produce a satisfying musical experience.

In that respect, song components are either enhancing or compromising their combined effects.
#1134511 - 01/05/18 09:52 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: David Snyder]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Originally Posted by David Snyder
Hey Nelson, I don't know how I missed this earlier, but I agree with all that has been said.

This is seriously beautiful!!

Merry Christmas.


Not a problem David.

In the ragging sea of talent that is JPF, it's quite easy to miss a ripple. smile

Thanks a bunch for swing by.

Hope you had a wonderful Holiday Season


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1134512 - 01/05/18 09:54 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Kristi McKeever]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Originally Posted by Kristi McKeever
Hi Nelson,

Wow, such a poignant story....the hope, the despair, the disbelief and the belief! So gently rendered and performed. It really tugs at the heart. I love the flowing melody and harmonies as they highlight specific sentiments. It's a very moving song, delivered with great emotion.

Kristi

Kristi
Thank you so much for stopping by and for you kind words.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1134514 - 01/05/18 10:00 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Maroon_Corey]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Posts: 2,570
Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Maroon_Corey
Originally Posted by Nelson

Thank you very much for sharing your insight.
I'm not really a musician so it's always thrilling / educational to hear folks in the know break down what I've done in a piece, in ways I could never.

Thx again and Happy New Year




You're very welcome, Nelson. And make no mistake, you are "really a musician"! wink If you would ever like a recorded voice memo to demonstrate anything I mentioned above, I'm happy to do so. I imagine you get the gist of most of it, though smile

Happy New Year to you too and keep up the good work!
[Linked Image]


THX again
I'll keep that in mind.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1134643 - 01/07/18 03:56 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,015
Scott Campbell Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,015
Lakeland, FL, USA
Beautiful ...... and heartbreaking.

Man, that bridge really nails it - more specifically, the dichotomy between the idea of the bridge and the idea of the chorus. Felt that all my life. smile

Nice one, Nelson - great job on the internal rhymes smile

Scott

#1135169 - 01/18/18 12:23 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Cheyenne]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Posts: 2,570
Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Cheyenne
I think you are on the right track here

I would suggest you look at some of the musical phrases

And see if you can improve on them ,

More attention applied to The Natural Stress Of Strong and Weak Beats is

something that could improve this song even more

I am still polishing songs I wrote Five or Six years ago, rewriting is the

name of the game, as the competition grows higher everyday


I'll have to look into that. 'stresses and beats"
As for musical phasing... that a bit above my pay grade... I'm just swinging fingers at rhythms that linger

I don't know if I'ld call what I do polishing but I'm in a perpetual state of rewrite.

Success to me is when a song says what I want it to say but after a few years what I want it to say changes then so must the song.
and sometimes what I wrote earlier sucks and now I hear it ...... ergo -- cha...cha...cha...changes.

Appreciate your input Cheyenne


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1135413 - 01/23/18 01:02 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,387
GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Posts: 1,387
Florida
Hey Nelson,

Long time. Haven't had much creative time myself lately, but figured I would check out JPF and saw you had a song posted. It was the first I went to because I knew it would be amazing. I wasn't disappointed. It is so good. Literally gave me chills. The vocals were just beautiful and like so many of your songs... so smooth. Your tunes always bring out such emotion. Really loved it. Congrats!

Dave

#1135688 - 01/27/18 12:29 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Scott Campbell]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,570
Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Scott Campbell
Beautiful ...... and heartbreaking.

Man, that bridge really nails it - more specifically, the dichotomy between the idea of the bridge and the idea of the chorus. Felt that all my life. smile

Nice one, Nelson - great job on the internal rhymes smile

Scott

Hey Scott, it's always a pleasure to have you stop in... and not be disappointed.
I'm always excited for a thumbs up from the Professor.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1135690 - 01/27/18 12:36 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,570
Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by GocartMoz
Hey Nelson,

Long time. Haven't had much creative time myself lately, but figured I would check out JPF and saw you had a song posted. It was the first I went to because I knew it would be amazing. I wasn't disappointed. It is so good. Literally gave me chills. The vocals were just beautiful and like so many of your songs... so smooth. Your tunes always bring out such emotion. Really loved it. Congrats!

Dave


As always Dave, I appreciate your time and your support.
You're one of the folks I never want to disappoint.

U R 2 Kind


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1135763 - 01/29/18 01:35 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,184
Wendy D Offline
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Wendy D  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,184
Atlanta, GA USA
Mr. Nelson,

I think this is a beautiful song. I was hearing some female block harmonies on the chorus. I think something like that effect could make it stand out. But the song is all there where you have it now. And it already stands-out.


http://www.reverbnation.com/wendydumond

https://soundcloud.com/#mamby-p

http://www.reverbnation.com/donsechelski

Link for Blackfoot Daisy band


You think I'm just another jive folk singer but I'm a master in the art of criminology..Tom Russell
#1135994 - 01/31/18 04:07 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 482
Paul Churchfield Offline
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Paul Churchfield  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 482
Nashville, TN
That was beautiful Mr Nelson!
Such a sad and soulful performance and I really like your voice!!
I liked the simple instrumentation, keeping the focus on the lyrics.
Very nice!!!!!

Thanks for sharing,
Paul

#1136144 - 02/02/18 08:09 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,570
Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Posts: 2,570
Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Wendy D
Mr. Nelson,

I think this is a beautiful song. I was hearing some female block harmonies on the chorus. I think something like that effect could make it stand out. But the song is all there where you have it now. And it already stands-out.


Yeah, I hear U on the harmonies.
Appreciate U stopping in


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1136704 - 02/10/18 01:58 PM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Paul Churchfield]  
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Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Posts: 2,570
Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Paul Churchfield
That was beautiful Mr Nelson!
Such a sad and soulful performance and I really like your voice!!
I liked the simple instrumentation, keeping the focus on the lyrics.
Very nice!!!!!

Thanks for sharing,
Paul

Glad you liked it.
Thanks a bunch for your time.


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1136863 - 02/12/18 02:21 AM Re: In My Dreams [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 732
ant Offline
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ant  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 732
California
This is beautifully written and arranged. The vocal performance is fantastic. I love the way you go up in register on the second chorus - that's a very nice touch. The line "chasing footsteps in the sand" was a pretty cool reference (I think) to the Footprints In The Sand poem - great way to reinforce the line before.

..ant


Stream my album "Out On The Road" at Spotify, Soundcloud and Apple Music.
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