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#1134253 - 01/01/18 11:51 AM But Won’t Go Past  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
But Won’t Go Past (Neil Cotton)

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13674048

Ching ching click click
Song store owners sing
Slam slam, clink clink
Debtor prison bars ring.
Was a day long ago
Folks got jail for what they owe.

I'll Take it to the Limit
But won’t go past
Gover’ment might bring
Debtor Prison back
I'll Take it to the Limit
But won’t go past

Creditors and Bankers
Love it when I spend
Gladly increase
My debt at month end.
They can buy bigger gifts
Show them off to their rich friends

I'll Take it to the Limit
But won’t go past
Gover’ment might bring
Debtor Prison back
I'll Take it to the Limit
But won’t go past

Ching ching click click
Song store owners sing
Slam slam, clink clink
Debtor prison bars ring.
Was a day long ago
Folks got jail for what they owe.

I'll Take it to the Limit
But won’t go past
Gover’ment might bring
Debtor Prison back
I'll Take it to the Limit
But won’t go past

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 01/01/18 11:53 AM.
#1134269 - 01/01/18 06:15 PM Re: But Won’t Go Past [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,079
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,079
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hope those times don't return or I'll be a prison inmate!
Great theme
Travjs


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1134275 - 01/01/18 07:50 PM Re: But Won’t Go Past [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Travis,
I have no idea where these ideas come from, LOL
Stay safe in 2018

#1134655 - 01/07/18 06:44 PM Re: But Won’t Go Past [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,156
E Swartz Offline
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E Swartz  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,156
Ohio
Hi Neil,

I like your music vibe here and "very" cool lyrics--and your point is well taken!

You always have an interesting toned vocal, and we all have our vocal styles/tendencies etc, I'd like to see you take more liberty on your timing with your vocals in general to not be so "perfect" on hitting the beats with each word--yes verbs nouns need to hit with their accents.......but I would bet on stage you do sing "looser?" Maybe not "square off" certain lines so much to allow the vocals to breath or flow better giving you a more of a: 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 instead of 1, 2, 3, 4 so perfect.

On the chorus---why not sing: "I'll take-it, (rest) to the limit" instead of: "I'll take (rest) it to the limit" -- More how one would say that phrase normally--think of "takeit" as one word -JMO.

This is a really good write Neil, you've also made great strides with the BIAB.

steady-eddie

#1134673 - 01/08/18 12:23 AM Re: But Won’t Go Past [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by E Swartz
Hi Neil,

I like your music vibe here and "very" cool lyrics--and your point is well taken!

You always have an interesting toned vocal, and we all have our vocal styles/tendencies etc, I'd like to see you take more liberty on your timing with your vocals in general to not be so "perfect" on hitting the beats with each word--yes verbs nouns need to hit with their accents.......but I would bet on stage you do sing "looser?" Maybe not "square off" certain lines so much to allow the vocals to breath or flow better giving you a more of a: 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 instead of 1, 2, 3, 4 so perfect.

On the chorus---why not sing: "I'll take-it, (rest) to the limit" instead of: "I'll take (rest) it to the limit" -- More how one would say that phrase normally--think of "takeit" as one word -JMO.

This is a really good write Neil, you've also made great strides with the BIAB.

steady-eddie


Eddie, your comments always give me food for thought.
Yes I have noticed I am trying to be perfect and not as loose as i should be...I credit that to the song being so new....needs more passes
The phrasing of Take it...I am trying to accent the "it", as the topic is spending....also I thought it brought out the inner rhyme with limit
Definitely helpful suggestions.

#1134692 - 01/08/18 11:13 AM Re: But Won’t Go Past [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 481
TC Perkins Offline
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TC Perkins  Offline
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 481
Virginia
I really liked the concept for this tune.

The music bed sounds good. The sound of the vocals need a bit of work - they sound a bit indistinct and muddy. The words are one of the best things about this song so you really want everyone to hear them clearly without a lead sheet.

I liked it!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
#1134748 - 01/09/18 11:14 AM Re: But Won’t Go Past [Re: TC Perkins]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,393
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by TC Perkins
I really liked the concept for this tune.

The music bed sounds good. The sound of the vocals need a bit of work - they sound a bit indistinct and muddy. The words are one of the best things about this song so you really want everyone to hear them clearly without a lead sheet.

I liked it!

Peace,
TC

Good point...I haven't gotten around to getting a few more runs in on the vocals.
Thanks


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