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#1133204 - 12/03/17 03:21 AM Smudges Of Love  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 3,965
nightengale Offline
Top 100 Poster
nightengale  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 3,965
Eugene, Or USA
Been a while!

Smudges Of Love

(c) 2017 Geneva Griffin

I woke up this mornin' grazin' on your lips,
Lost.. in a few moments that were utter bliss,
Gazed in the windows of your soul and began to tear,
As we shared our dreams, lived our lives,
You faded back into the sweet bye-n-bye..

Smudges of love you've left on me..
Impresions that will never be wiped clean,
Those little marks etched inside my heart and will be..
buried with me.....
Smudges of love imprinted deep..

Fine'ly made my way from bed showered and shaved,
For an interview that would mean a sweet pay raise,
It had been so hard tryin' to go this life alone,
Til you just whispered those words, you got this one,
Renewed faith in a man that was on the bum..

Smudges of love you've left on me..
Impressions that will never be wiped clean,
Those little marks etched inside my heart and will be..
buried with me.....
Smudges of love imprinted deep..

I'll never forget those kisses and echoing..
You always knew how to feel out the best in me....

Smudges of love you've left on me..
Impressions that will never be wiped clean,
Those little mark etched inside my heart and will be..
buried with me.....
Smudges of love imprinted deep..

#1133455 - 12/07/17 05:41 PM Re: Smudges Of Love [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,514
Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,514
Baltimore, MD
Yea, it's been awhile for me too. Glad to see you're still at it.

Something about the word "smudges"......

Well, I love the sentiment here, Geneva, both heartfelt and touching.
You're really showing this guy’s pain.

Those little marks etched inside my heart and will be..
buried with me.....
Smudges of love imprinted deep..

We must be kindred spirits because I just posted a song, with remarkably similar sentiment.
Great Minds, eh? smile

Swing by and let me know what you think.
It’s called "In My Dreams"

Hope you're having a wonderful holiday season


"A Simple Man...... making simple music" ~Nelson
#1133486 - 12/08/17 01:02 AM Re: Smudges Of Love [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 490
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 490
Hi, Geneva,

I like most everything about this. I agree, though, with Nelson that maybe "smudges" may not be the best term, as for me it has a negative connotation--e.g., dirty imprint. And the intent here seems sweeter than a "smudge". I don't have a ready suggestion for an alternative, but will give it some thought and chime back in if something strike me. Also, in the first line, I paused on "grazin'"; which struck me as more aggressive than passionate. But, really, aside from those two things--which may just be me and you should therefore take with a grain of salt and feel free to ignore--this is a strong effort with a lot of potential.



#1134875 - 01/11/18 11:32 PM Re: Smudges Of Love [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,797
Kristi McKeever Offline
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Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,797
Hi Geneva,

This has some really sweet sentiments in it! I can get an interesting visual with your hook. Only one line confused me a little. The second line in the bridge: “You always knew how to feel out the best in me”. I get the idea of it though. The lyric has a fast rhythm to it...and some great details. This line is especially vivid: “Those little marks etched inside my heart”. Good writing!


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist

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