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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
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Hard Promise
(V) A hard promise is all that I’m asking of you— a hard promise, clear and true. You’re so heartless to leave me here hanging. Pull me in or, baby, cut me loose.
(C) So, won’t you let me know just what you’re waiting for. I don’t want an “I don’t know”; don’t want “I’m almost sure.” You can’t say you won’t go when you’ve got one hand on the door, and, darling, you ought to know that’s true. A hard promise is all that I want from you.
(V) A hard promise, you keep it forever. A hard promise never bends or breaks. You be honest, no matter whatever. Show me now that you’ve got what it takes.
(C) Because if you want my heart, you’ve got to tell me so— Is this a stop or start? Is this a “yes” or “no”? You hide too long in the dark and your true colors will show, and, darling, you ought to know that too. A hard promise is all that I want from you.
(B) A hard promise, it’s all that I’m waiting on. A hard promise, give it or I’ll be gone— because you’ve gotta know what you’ve been putting me through, I’ve been standing years in the snow, now only sunshine will do. You say we’re taking it slow, but, girl, it’s high time we flew.
(V) I promise I’ll love you forever. I promise I’ll always take your side. I’ll be honest come whatever, whenever. C’mon, girl, it’s time that you decide.
(c) DJ Lekich 2017
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
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some very good lines , maybe thin out the herd, shorter choruses?? Pick you best lines. My first reaction....could be wrong.
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 11/17/17 03:38 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Good story Deej. I think a little thinning out is probably needed but it's difficult until the music comes through. I think though that the bridge is too long Cheers Tdavus
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Dec 2016
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Thanks, Neil and Travis. I get it probably reads long and wordy--quite honestly, it's flaw of mine and a common critique that I need to take to heart in future efforts. I'm going to wait on trimming until the recording comes together (if ever). Just started playing with it this week, and maybe I'll post to the MP3 thread soon. It's actually not that long a tune--just a quarter over three minutes as it stands. Let's see if I can come up with something listenable.
Travis, I've probably mislabeled the bridge. I think technically the bridge is the first two lines--what follows thereafter is a variation of the chorus, though a slightly different chord progression. Maybe I should able it C2?
Thanks again to both of you.
Regards,
Deej
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