Who's Online Now
21 registered members (Barry David Butler, 9ne, beechnut79, couchgrouch, David Snyder, Harriet Ames, Colin Ward, Everett Adams, Calvin, CharlotteSullivan, 2 invisible), and 222 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
MidniteBob
MidniteBob
Raleigh, ya'll
Posts: 2,687
Joined: January 2008
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
No Turning Back
by beechnut79. 11/24/17 11:42 AM
We Need Real Farmers (Revised)
by beechnut79. 11/24/17 11:41 AM
I Was the Donut Lady
by beechnut79. 11/24/17 11:30 AM
When Blue Turns To Gray
by beechnut79. 11/24/17 11:24 AM
I Want More
by swestern. 11/24/17 11:09 AM
Oprah Called & Said She Loved My Song
by Barry David Butler. 11/24/17 11:08 AM
Living In Another Man's Clothes
by Neil Cotton. 11/24/17 11:06 AM
Another one gone
by Barry David Butler. 11/24/17 10:59 AM
Anyone fancy helping me and also JPF
by Roy Cooper. 11/23/17 10:09 PM
New Website...
by John Lawrence Schick. 11/23/17 06:57 PM
Broken
by Barry David Butler. 11/23/17 05:30 PM
This is for Love
by Michael Zaneski. 11/23/17 02:25 PM
Living a Song (That Someone Else Wrote)
by couchgrouch. 11/23/17 01:36 PM
Sometimes Not
by Michael Zaneski. 11/23/17 01:35 PM
Suite: Monster
by Michael Zaneski. 11/23/17 01:20 PM
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
by Barry David Butler. 11/23/17 10:56 AM
Shop Black Friday Men/Women Nike Shoes Online Sale
by Ricki E. Bellos. 11/23/17 09:41 AM
chaussures nike free outlet
by Neil Cotton. 11/23/17 08:59 AM
Webshop Für Sportschuhe Converse
by jameswing122. 11/23/17 02:20 AM
Father and Son
by Deej56. 11/23/17 12:04 AM
COWBOYS FAREWELL
by Deej56. 11/22/17 11:58 PM
Hard Promise
by Deej56. 11/22/17 11:53 PM
Love Goes
by Deej56. 11/22/17 11:46 PM
Dark Horse
by Deej56. 11/22/17 11:34 PM
I Remember Autumn
by Martin Lide. 11/22/17 08:32 PM
We Need Real Farmers
by Neil Cotton. 11/22/17 03:44 PM
Did she talk about me? Travis and Vic
by Travis david. 11/22/17 10:27 AM
Christmas Truck_It's Never Too Early
by David Snyder. 11/22/17 10:06 AM
Music Used in Youtube ep.
by Barry David Butler. 11/22/17 09:38 AM
Songwriting Coaches
by Marc Barnette. 11/21/17 05:45 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,191
Kevin Emmrich 10,531
Jean Bullock 10,330
Travis david 10,311
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,571
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,746
Mike Dunbar 8,574
glynda 8,560
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,823
Corey 7,357
couchgrouch 7,215
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,428
Joe Wrabek 6,400
Dave Rice 6,194
ben willis 6,070
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,718
Linda Sings 5,601
niteshift 5,323
Vicarn 5,241
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,605
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,344
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Cindy Miller 4,178
Tom Shea 4,173
Neil Cotton 4,139
nightengale 3,964
TamsNumber4 3,962
Roy Cooper 3,901
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,760
Dan Sullivan 3,710
MFB III 3,687
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
beechnut79 3,265
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
E Swartz 2,929
PopTodd 2,874
Harriet Ames 2,868
Nigel Quin 2,802
MidniteBob 2,687
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Nelson 2,404
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,241
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
Wendy D 2,151
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
Ray Thyer 1,929
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
maccharles 1,770
floyd jane 1,713
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Noel Downs 1,620
Iggy 1,593
Cal 1,574
Rick Heenan 1,561
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,451
RogerS 1,445
Ralph Blight 1,440
Chuck Crowe 1,435
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,427
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,406
Stan Simons 1,402
in2piano 1,399
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,300
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
GocartMoz 1,261
Janice & Bud 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
PeteG 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
Glen King 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
summeoyo 1,083
Gerry 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
joro 1,045
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
lane1777 931
Jak Kelly 912
IronKnee 894
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
90 dB 745
tbryson 737
Andy K 733
Andy Kemp 732
Jackie444 720
ant 710
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
9ne 607
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
Pat Hardy 580
qbaum 570
nitepiano 565
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
Irwin 526
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
Moosesong 508
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
R&M 444
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 398
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
Cecilee 376
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Alek 352
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Deej56 311
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1132333 - 11/10/17 03:31 PM I Want More  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 143
swestern Online content
Serious Contributor
swestern  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 143
South Lyon, Michigan

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13654420

A Contemporary Christian song about feeling somewhat abandoned and having lost the closeness we once had with Jesus when we first came to believe. But now, are we really living the life He desires for us or just punching in and out on Sundays? Time for some reflection on how it used to be and why.
Skip

“I Want More”
10/30/17

Can you take me fishing as a summer storm brews?
Or light a fire that I could visit with you?
What more to desire seated with Christ, by a charcoal fire?
Mmm, I want more…

Can you place Your finger in the sands, take away my blame?
Look in my heart, redefine my name?
What’s different now, Am I hidden from Your sight?
Mmm, Jesus, I want more…..

LIFT
And He said…

CHORUS:
I want you the way you used to be
When you lived in My love, searching, pondering
You are beloved, come bind yourself to me
Your body, your soul, all your humanity

I’m here praying in the shade of this fig tree,
Won’t you open up the heavens, send angels for me
Deliver me from this …silence - I want more…
mmm - yeah I want more

May Your dewfall make Yourself known to me
Kiss my heart, heal this leprosy
Touch my eyes, touch my ears, mend my brokenness
Jesus, I want more….

LIFT
And He said…

REPEAT CHORUS:


BRIDGE:
The truth about me is Father
The truth about my love is Mother
Walk through your desert as I thirst for you - mmm

REPEAT CHORUS:

TAG:
I thirst for you, Child won’t you thirst for me

#1132334 - 11/10/17 04:01 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 607
9ne Online content
Top 500 Poster
9ne  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 607
N.E. of Toronto
Liked the music and your singing. The chorus lyric was focused and understandable. The verse lyrics were not. Your preamble was more succinct and should have been the basis for your lyric, as it says what your intentions were.
Best of luck!
-Mike

#1132495 - 11/16/17 12:52 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 143
swestern Online content
Serious Contributor
swestern  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 143
South Lyon, Michigan
Mike,
Thank you for your time and thoughtful comments.
The verses grew out of references to specific biblical stories where people came to believe and became closer to Jesus. The singer is desiring to have these types of experiences again and the chorus is meant to remind the singer what kind of sacrifice is necessary.
Thanks again,
Skip

#1132498 - 11/16/17 03:43 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,045
Michael LeBlanc Offline
Top 10 Poster
Michael LeBlanc  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,045
Louisiana
i really enjoyed this song.A nice lyric with some really cool music. Mike

#1132500 - 11/16/17 05:34 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 36
David Snyder Online content
Casual Observer
David Snyder  Online Content
Casual Observer

Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 36
North Carolina

I liked this song and the production. The lyrics took risks and were not contrived.

This obviously did not follow a by the book approach to verse chorus structure since the chorus is rather long and not "repetitive."

But I actually liked the stream of consciousness style of experimentation here. I thought it was cool--and, well, spiritual.

smile

Good job.


David Snyder, Composer, Author
Singer-Songwriter, Producer
NC Chapter Coordinator, NSAI
www.davidsnydermusic.com
#1132508 - 11/17/17 01:34 AM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 311
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 311
Swestern,

Love this melody, the vocal and overall execution--the rhythm, the sound, the beat. I tend to be a bit more poetic in my approach to writing lyrics, so I'm more than fine with your verses, and enjoyed sitting back and letting the mood wash over me. It's my personal view, but I don't think a lyric needs to be literal if it sets the mood and pulls you in. Your song, in my opinion, pulls me the listener in, and well.

Listen, IMHO, this could easily hit the radio--no different than what I've heard from O.A.R. or other bands with similar focus. I'm pretty sure this isn't the first thing I've heard from you on this board that I really liked. You're very talented and I enjoyed my listen. Looking forward to hearing more.

All the best,

Deej

#1132550 - 11/17/17 05:18 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 143
swestern Online content
Serious Contributor
swestern  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 143
South Lyon, Michigan
Michael, David, Deej,
Lots of great feedback, thank you for your time and effort.
This was a group effort as all my work is, the lyrics were mine but the music and production was by Jay at Bottlerockit Prod.
Thanks again to all of you,
Skip

#1132554 - 11/17/17 07:59 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 351
TC Perkins Online content
Top 500 Poster
TC Perkins  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2015
Posts: 351
Virginia
Solid Christian song without resorting to being preachy. I liked it.

The vocals are good, and the music bed is well performed/programmed.

The production is decent if not stellar. I thought the instruments were a bit muddy and could use a bit of EQ. The shaker volume could be more dynamic as the song progresses. The lead vocals are way too upfront, and the harmonies could be a bit louder in relation (although bringing the lead vocals back might resolve that issue nicely).

Overall, it sounds good!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
#1132645 - 11/20/17 08:57 AM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,929
E Swartz Offline
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,929
Ohio
Skip,

What a sweet song here........I liked just about everything about this song--sounded pretty well balanced from my headphones, and yeah the vocals (for me) were dominant and out front where I think they should be with this song. This IMO is certainly a fine enough production for a demo. I like the lyrics being a little clever and having to listen a few times to get the complete drift. I must confess, I'm not sure however what the bridge is implying exactly.

Liked the claps for percussion but especially liked the vocalist--great vocal tone for sure, and very current sounding! Nice write!

steady-eddie

#1132761 - 2 hours ago Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 143
swestern Online content
Serious Contributor
swestern  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 143
South Lyon, Michigan
Thank you TC, for giving this a listen and commenting.
I like the vocals up front because these old ears of mine sometimes have a hard time differentiating words if the vocals are receded, and of course as a lyricist, I value those a little more.
Thanks again,
Skip

#1132765 - 2 hours ago Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 143
swestern Online content
Serious Contributor
swestern  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 143
South Lyon, Michigan
steady-eddie,
Actually I had a couple different thoughts when considering the bridge. One being, "The truth about me is Father" referring to the Old Testament law and "The truth about my love is Mother" meaning the New Testament love so the third line stating "Walk through your desert' again referring to how God allowed his people to wander and feel abandoned for their ultimate good in the OT and the last portion, "as I thirst for you" recalling some of Christ's final words in the NT about the depth of love He has for us. This idea sets up the final line where God wants us to thirst for Him as much as He thirsts for us.

Another thought I had was that a loving Father doesn't necessarily give his child everything they may "want" and a loving Mother will always want what's best for her children so God, having both a Father's nature and a Mother's love, is allowing the singer to walk through the desert until he recalls the thirst he once had for being close to God.

Thanks again for your thoughts,
Skip


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
jameswing122, asaltakavar, chilipily, mason_mcmahon, Lingbeek
20970 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics117,193
Posts1,103,237
Members20,971
Average Posts Daily36
Most Online1,506
Mar 16th, 2017
Just Plain Quotes
"That's just my opinion, I could be right" -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0