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#1131535 - 10/20/17 10:43 AM LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 153
Donna Dutchess Offline
Serious Contributor
Donna Dutchess  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 153
WNY, USA
Hi Everyone. I would love some critiques on this song. This is my first co-writer experience. I have some regrets, and learned some hard earned lessons, but I would def like to co-write again. Let me know what you think.

https://soundcloud.com/donna-rose-dutchess/life-is-beautiful

https://www.reverbnation.com/donnadutchesssongwriter/song/28703387-life-is-beautifuldemo-co-written

Last edited by Donna Dutchess; 10/20/17 10:51 AM.

https://donnadutchessmusic.com/
http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/donnadutchesssongwriter
https://www.youtube.com/user/dutchessdnn
#1131543 - 10/20/17 03:41 PM Re: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 876
Martin Lide Online content
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Martin Lide  Online Content
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 876
Houston, Texas
It's very pretty.

The melody is trad and well worn. I don't know if that's good or bad or neither.
I had to listen very close to discern the lyrics in a few places. I don't know if that's my old ears or the recording.

All in all, I thought it was lovely and talented.

Martin

#1131555 - 10/21/17 05:16 AM Re: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 508
Moosesong Offline
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Moosesong  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 508
Vacaville, CA, USA
I liked it. The theme of a hope chest is wonderful. I had trouble hearing some of the lryics in a few places but I got most and they were great. the tune and singing were very good.


David Hunkins
Music page
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=707030

There is only one "best", the best you can.
#1131571 - 10/21/17 10:37 AM Re: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,194
Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,194
Texas
Hi Donna and Zach:

Enjoyed your co-write and the entire "vibe" of the song. Little treasures for our "Little Treasures" is always a great idea. As I listened I noticed some gospel undertones in this traditional country sounding song and I thought, "What a neat addition." Our friend Martin has pretty good ears and I believe he may be offering some good suggestions for you two. Best of luck with it and I hope those "hard earned co-writing lessons" won't keep you from continuing to grind away at song-writing... whether going it alone or via the co-writing path. In the end, all that matters is a good song... and you are so capable.

All the best, ----Dave

#1131575 - 10/21/17 04:00 PM Re: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,926
E Swartz Offline
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E Swartz  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,926
Ohio
Donna,

Not much to dislike here! I think the song has a wonderful theme and I think the ladies will really especially feel the sentiment. Great Modern Country sound, well performed--sweet vocal tone, great EQ and crispness that I particularly like, and certainly well produced--congrats!

steady-eddie

#1131610 - 10/23/17 09:09 AM Re: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,273
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,273
Wisconsin
Donna, this is a really well done demo, a lot to enjoy in the listening. I would have liked to be able to read along but think I got most of the words.

The problem I have with the song overall is in connecting the hook/title with the rest of the lyrics. I don't see how someone's old shoes, wedding dress and baby's christening gown illustrate how "life" is beautiful? It's a great thing to have these family heirlooms to pass down through generations, like the family photo album or even the old family bible, and I get how important these things would be to a person and their family, but I don't get how they illustrate that "life" is beautiful? It sounds like the singer has led a charmed and beautiful life that she wants to share with the next generation but how this translates to the much broader context of "life" being beautiful is what I'm not seeing. It's just not tying together for me.

Ricki

#1131614 - 10/23/17 12:22 PM Re: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,133
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,133
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
I too would like to see the lyrics...the music is nice but not new...personally I don't care about being "new"


http://www.myspace.com/neilcotton http://upickedcotton.tripod.com/neil
#1131627 - 10/23/17 04:21 PM Re: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 153
Donna Dutchess Offline
Serious Contributor
Donna Dutchess  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 153
WNY, USA
The lyrics are always on my Reverbnation songs. But here they are anyway.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
DONNA DUTCHESS AND ZACHARY HENARD
V1
I ASKED HER, MOMMA? WHAT'S IN THAT OLD CHEST?
BABY JUST SOME THINGS I'VE SAVED, I'M BEEN SO VERY BLESSED.
PRECIOUS TREASURES /AND SOME VERY OLD SHOES
EACH ONE HAS A STORY THAT I WILL SHARE WITH YOU.

V2
SHE SAID, I REMEMBER THE DAY THAT I GOT THIS PAIR
I WAS OUT SHOPPING FOR SOMETHING NEW TO WEAR
I WAS SO EXCITED / WANTED TO LOOK JUST RIGHT
GOING ON MY FIRST DATE WITH YOUR FATHER THAT NIGHT

CHORUS
THIS OLD CHEST HOLDS WHAT IS DEAR TO ME
NOT DIAMONDS OR GOLD, OR JEWELRY
SPECIAL THINGS I KEEP/ TO REMIND ME
OF FIRST DATES, WEDDINGS AND /NEW BORN BABIES
OH BABY , WHAT I WANT YOU TO SEE
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

V3
STILL WHITE AS A DOVE SINCE THE DAY WE WED
SATIN HIGH HEELS, A DRESS, AND A LONG VAIL ON MY HEAD
SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY, I WAS ONLY NINETEEN
IT WAS A PICTURE PERFECT DAY HE WAS THE MAN OF MY DREAMS

V4
TINY BABY SHOES, WITH LITTLE WHITE BELLS
I CAN STILL REMEMBER YOUR SWEET BABY SMELL
THE CHRISTENING GOWN STILL WRAPPED UP SAFE
I CARESS IT AS THE MEMORIES WASH DOWN MY FACE

CHORUS

I ASKED HER, MOMMA? WHATS IN THAT OLD CHEST?


https://donnadutchessmusic.com/
http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/donnadutchesssongwriter
https://www.youtube.com/user/dutchessdnn
#1131628 - 10/23/17 04:23 PM Re: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 153
Donna Dutchess Offline
Serious Contributor
Donna Dutchess  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 153
WNY, USA
Ricky, maybe its a "womens" thing.....or maybe I should have been clearer in the lyrics somewhere and said "no matter what life brings you and no matter how tough it gets, remember, life is still beautiful"???


https://donnadutchessmusic.com/
http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/donnadutchesssongwriter
https://www.youtube.com/user/dutchessdnn
#1131643 - 10/24/17 09:03 AM Re: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,273
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,273
Wisconsin
I don't know that that's the answer, Donna. The lyrics don't indicate anywhere that their life has been tough nor why these articles in the chest show that life is beautiful. Just that their life has been beautiful and she has mementos to share with her daughter. Maybe her daughter will continue the tradition? There's nothing wrong with any of it but I'm having trouble tying it together with the very generalized hook. I don't think it's a man or woman thing either, maybe just a Ricki thing. That would be me there, on the left. smile

#1132501 - 11/16/17 05:51 PM Re: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 31
David Snyder Online content
Casual Observer
David Snyder  Online Content
Casual Observer

Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 31
North Carolina
Ok, this was cool. I was listening to this with ears wide open and the phrase I liked the most was hope chest, so I thought the song could be re-tooled and called Hope Chest, or My Hope Chest.

The central thought here is "you never know what you'll find in my hope chest."

So I thought the chorus could be simpler, and saying something like "you hold on to the good and you forget the rest, never know what you'll find in my hope chest...." or something like that. Or, "I've kept what matters in my hope chest."

The melody is good.

The sounds in the arrangement are good but everything comes in all at once and stays that way. You might want to start out with just acoustic, add stuff in gradually, have the full band in at V2, and drop everything but acoustic out for last chorus.

A good rule of thumb in country writing is to have an image in the title and chorus that sticks to your brain like glue. I think "hope chest" does that, so I would use that like crazy as the hook and chorus if it were me. A hookline made in heaven.

Just a few thoughts. I like your style!!!

smile


David Snyder, Composer, Author
Singer-Songwriter, Producer
NC Chapter Coordinator, NSAI
www.davidsnydermusic.com

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