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#1128825 - 07/04/17 01:18 PM RAISE A GLASS. (REWRITE)  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,234
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,234
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Raise a glass
V
Don't leave flowers on my grave
snatches of my life on paper that'll fade
say those things to me when i'm still aulive
we've shared so many things-hey don't be shy
C
Lets raise a glass to us today
two old friends who often strayed
But a bond sealed with memories
Old friend you mean a lot to me.
If i should go and you should stay
raise a glass to us that day
V
Last went to church years ago
preachers eulogise on someone they dont know
Rather friends call on me shows they care
wish i could spread this notion everywhere

Chorus

B
Don't leave it, don't you wait
cause one day it could be too late
Take the time tell those special ones
how you feel about them
Cause one day, sadly they'll be gone
Chorus
------------------
RAISE A GlASS
V
Don't  leave flowers on my grave
snatches of my life on paper that'll  fade
Just say those things when i'm still alive
how much you care, go on make me cry
C
  Lets raise a glass to us today
   two old friends who often strayed
    But a bond sealed with memories
     Old friend you mean a lot to me.
     If i should go and you should stay
    raise a glass to us that day
V
     Last went to church years ago
      preachers eulogise on someone they dont know
       Rather  friends call on me  shows they  care
     wish i could spread this notion everywhere

      Chorus
 
     B
          Don't leave it, don't you wait
           cause one day it could be too late
           Take the time tell those special ones
            how you feel about them
             Cause one day, they could be gone
Chorus

Last edited by Travis david; 10/09/17 03:34 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1128867 - 07/05/17 01:12 PM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 6,822
Ray E. Strode Online content
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Ray E. Strode  Online Content
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Brunswick, Ga. USA
Humm Travis,
You need to Google THE WHIFFENPOOF SONG by Rudy Vallee, Bing Crosby and other's.

Last edited by Ray E. Strode; 07/05/17 01:17 PM.

Ray E. Strode
#1129022 - 07/13/17 05:04 AM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,234
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
The fact that you 're aware of it Ray is good enough for me
Travis

Last edited by Travis david; 07/13/17 05:04 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1129023 - 07/13/17 08:35 AM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,572
Barry David Butler Online content
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Barry David Butler  Online Content
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Sebring, Florida USA
Love it Travis.
I'm going to post in on my Facebook Page...Barry...

#1129031 - 07/13/17 12:24 PM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,234
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Thanks Barry thats great
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1129053 - 07/15/17 01:15 AM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 271
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Posts: 271
Travis,

I really like the first verse and chorus of this song. Actually I like what follows as well. But as I read the first verse and chorus, I anticipated this would be a tune about two longtime friends, sometimes at odds. The last two verses aren't as specific to that story and therefore seem disconnected to the chorus. I say this only because this song has tremendous potential, and perhaps reshape the second and third verse to be more specific on the two friends. One suggestion on the chorus lyrics: perhaps "sometimes" rather than "often" in the second line (but depends on your story). Keep working this--it will be a fine tune.

Hope the feedback helps!

Best regards,

Deej

#1129078 - 07/16/17 12:33 AM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 971
Wesley Ryan Offline
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Wesley Ryan  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 971
Wichita Falls, Texas U.S.A.
Hey Travis,

It has been awhile. I hope you are well. Glad to see you are still writing. Best wishes!

Wes

#1129193 - 07/21/17 04:32 AM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,234
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Wesley
Good to see you back again
Thanks for stopping by
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1129194 - 07/21/17 04:34 AM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
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Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Posts: 10,234
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Deej
Thanks for your help and comments which are always appreciated.
Yes it needs a rewrite or two and your points are valid
Cheers
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1131261 - 10/06/17 12:53 PM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,234
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
This is a rewrite


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1131263 - 10/06/17 01:34 PM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 972
David Gill Offline
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David Gill  Offline
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Posts: 972
Buffalo, NY
Hey Travis,

I really like where this goes. Well written and straight to the point. Good on ya, sir!

Peace,

Dave


"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
#1131306 - 10/08/17 02:16 PM Re: RAISE A GLASS [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,234
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Cheers Dave.
Travis

Last edited by Travis david; 10/08/17 02:17 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1131366 - 10/11/17 09:45 AM Re: RAISE A GLASS. (REWRITE) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 588
9ne Online content
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9ne  Online Content
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 588
N.E. of Toronto
Nice sentiment!
Suggestion?

Don't leave flowers on my grave
snatches of my life on paper that'll fade
Just say those things while i'm still alive
how much you care, the reason why

Best of luck!
-Mike

#1131384 - 10/12/17 05:48 AM Re: RAISE A GLASS. (REWRITE) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,234
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Yes I like that Mike and will change it later.
Meanwhile I've a new one
Thanks
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

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