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#1131206 - 10/04/17 05:01 PM Soft whispers of melody  
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 20
DaniLee914 Offline
Casual Observer
DaniLee914  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 20
michigan, usa
Oh my, its only been 5yrs since I last posted a lyric song, lol but here goes a second time that still feels like another first time ha! Don't be too harsh, please lol


Soft whispers of melody
Written by Dani Lee


Intro

it's hard to hear you everyday
but even harder since you went away
these poets on my radio ..
Songs they think, they're singing
they just replay the pain,
I won't let it to my heart so instead I pray.

V1

your words in every lyric
like a songbird cutting to my heart
and to my spirit
My songbird I still feel the same
No worries cause i'll take the blame..



Chorus

Lord let this man be happy
lord let him do what's right
let his heart stay hopeful
filled everyday with light.
but while I have your ear,
Lord comfort all my fear,

please don't take him from my life
he's my hope, my love, but I'm not his wife.
its selfish, but you see
his smile makes me happy
I need to know that he's ok
so I'll turn on my music, and pray
listen to fates love story parody
on soft whispers of melody


V2
I know your doing what is right
I know you'll see it threw with all your might
I know that your a good man,
That i come with a price you won't pay
I wouldn't love you if you were another way

C

V3

so I'll focus on the memories
try not to drink you away
I have to make a sad song happy
you've let me know, your gonna stay.
I'll see you
in my dreams tonight,
hear you in my home and car all day

C

Outro

even when you feel like you can't trust me.
just know still, i know you have to stay
And for you, yea you
each day I pray.


{ City raised country girl }
#1131447 - 10/15/17 02:24 AM Re: Soft whispers of melody [Re: DaniLee914]  
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 599
Pat Hardy Offline
Top 500 Poster
Pat Hardy  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 599


Very nice, DaniLee, heartfelt, thanks for sharing.

#1131451 - 10/15/17 09:13 AM Re: Soft whispers of melody [Re: DaniLee914]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,124
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,124
Texas
Hi DaniLee:

Welcome home... JPF is so glad you're back. I have a few suggestions for you to consider... or ignore. First, you will get lots more "viewers" for this lyric over at one of the three lyric forums. No magic to the selection process... all of them work so just choose the one that suits your fancy.

Now for some serious opinions. Since I began as a lyricist I hope you know my "crits" are intended to provide assistance without any negativity intended. From a singers point of view... the lyric is a bit long. Always keep in mind the old "Radio Play" target objective of keeping a song at three minutes more or less. Only the Big Name Stars can get away with "long songs"... those more than five minutes in duration.

After reading your work... I wondered if you have a genre in mind? Sometimes in lyric writing... it pays to be specific genre wise... but there are lyrics that lend themselves to just about any genre... and work well.

I like your song idea and believe you've made a great start. Best of luck with this one. ----Dave

#1131650 - 10/24/17 12:45 PM Re: Soft whispers of melody [Re: DaniLee914]  
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 20
DaniLee914 Offline
Casual Observer
DaniLee914  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 20
michigan, usa
Thank you Dave! I didn't see the forum earlier! The things we do in a rush! Lol ok I will post there, and take this down ...egg on my face eh? Thank you for comments, thinking country, yes not sure if i would like to shorten or what..appriciate it!


{ City raised country girl }

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