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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 87
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 87 |
I recorded this is one take on Thursday morning. Would love feedback. Watch It Fade. http://valdavis.com/Watch-It-Fade-Rough.mp3Watch it Fade (Anteros Eyes) Copyright © 2017 Val Davis He laid her down as to love her In a gnomes bed in the new spring woods Under a canopy dressed in sunlight She brought him into her and it was good And their love grew like the wildflowers In an open space under the moon But what has a start also must end So it lasted from june to june (Chorus) Anteros' eyes would not gaze on them Cupid's arrows didn't find their stay. Though this love is big like the old grand canyon Slowly in times' river ....watch it fade. She wrapped herself in the family woven And held on tightly to those tattered ends She swore the comfort would not unravel And together the fabric they would mend In angers eyes she found her strength To build a wall that would not fail Eyes set forward onto the high ground She set her self free and onto sail. (Chorus) Anteros' eyes would not gaze on them Cupid's arrows didn't find their stay . Though this love is big like the old grand canyon Slowly in times' river ....watch it fade. (Bridge) Dust has settled on home forgotten The barren place where life was made Sometimes with eyes closed she does remember Those lovely times by his side will not fade. (Chorus) Anteros' eyes would not gaze on them Cupid's arrows didn't find their stay. Though this love is big like the old grand canyon Slowly in times' river ....watch it fade.
Last edited by Val Davis; 09/25/17 07:51 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325 |
Hey Val,i really like your playing and singing here.The song puts me in a good place but i would have liked the lyrics posted as it moved along kind of quick. Mike
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 87
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 87 |
Mike, I did post them in the lyric forum. Let me know your thoughts.
thanks
Val
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1 |
Hello Val, Nice to meet you & WELCOME to JPF ! You've got a good / clean sounding song here, although I think having a different musical treatment during the chorus would make it even better. Calvin GOOD GIRLS AND BAD BOYS..... http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/cands/0/calvinstewart
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
This is awesome, Val. A beautiful, poetic story of lost love and your playing is wonderful. Only a couple of things...the sections (verse, chorus, bridge) are so tight, one after the other, that it might be nice if there was a little breathing room between them. And also, musically, a little more diversity wouldn't hurt, especially at the bridge. Just some thoughts. I enjoyed my listen.
Ricki
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4 |
Hello, Val. Love, really love the imagery you created. Your vocals and guitar accompaniment is smack on. No "nit" from sunny, humid and hot Montreal. Thank you very much for sharing this gem of a song. Douglas
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18 |
Hi Val, Great picking and a distict memorable vocal sound and delivery. The lyric invites further listening, as your style is layered and rather poetic, in an almost Bardic style, and it's quite good. This is the work of a seasoned singer-songwriter. Excellent writing and performance.. Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 |
Val,
Love the guitar work—the opening pulls the ear. The vocal is inviting and gives the tune substance—but, to me, the guitar really carries this; nice picking. I like the stripped sound here—so wouldn’t add much more to it. All in all, really done.
Kindest regards,
Deej
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1 |
I like it! Reminds me of a sound from the seventies - maybe Yes..... Nice picking. I was a bit skeptical of the June Moon rhyme but it worked.
Good job.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,891 Likes: 6
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,891 Likes: 6 |
Hi Val
I really enjoyed this, lovely song and well performed.
Good work
Nigel
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831 |
Welcome to JPF, Val:
Zaneski said things pretty well for me. Simple well played guitar and your vocal was darn near perfect. It has a Peter, Paul and Mary feel with a modern folk vibe to my crusty old ears. Enjoyed the story told by this excellent song. Send more soon! All the best, ----Dave
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