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Joined: Jun 2011
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https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13636638A song composed by Canadian based Mimmo/vocal and myself The song was initially written for a female Travis Who's Going to Hold me When I cry? v 1 Started thinking how I'd feel if you should go how would I carry on, would my feelings show? Would I laugh again, how slow would time go by? And who's going to hold me when I cry? v 2 They say time heals wounds, but time moves so slow, one minute you'd be here, for eternity you'd go. Could I live without you, would I live a lie? And who's going to hold me when I cry? Bridge Can't believe how good you've made me feel have to pinch myself to make sure it's real Keep to myself these foolish fears all the uncertainty and silly tears. V3 Couldn't even go away to hide the pain wherever I'd go, couldn't bare to hear your name. Would I meet a new love, in some another guy? would he hold me like you did when I cried?
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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good performance...the song may work as a theatre piece
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Definitely not country! Yes we had it as a MOR or as you said Neil theatre. Thanks for your ears Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hi Travis and Mimmo. Pretty tune you have here.
Just a couple of suggs uol:
V1 says "IF you should go" indefinite. V2 conflicts with that and says "for eternity YOU'D go" definite.
Also not sure repeating "I cry" works. Maybe better to say "When I cry" or not repeat at all. Not sure if the "ohs" at the end work either. That could be just my personal preference though.
Overall though it works.
Vic
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Cheers Vic.personally I'm with you on the CRY. MIMMO thought it more dramatic i though the song would work with less drama. I rather like the ooohs lol The lyric can be altered it isn't exactly as posted anyway as it was aimed at a female vocalist in mind Thanks for your listen and help
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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really like the vocal in this Travis, good Music and lyric. just a note let you know I stopped and gave this a listen. Lane
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Thanks once again for your support Lane Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hey guys!
I really enjoyed this and as mentioned, a theatrical vibe song - it just feels like a scene solo in a musical--but I dig that, and it definitely has a vintage pop sound for me.
My only small nit with prosody is tiny......I think losing the contraction and saying ""who is" would help that lyric flow, though subtle, in the vs. end lines-- emphasizing the "who" but shorter than "who-oo's." Just my preference, not imperative by any means. I'm with Vic on the "cry" repeat, however, I think if when repeating it, you sing it down a step or so, it will sound more "resolving" and give you the drama in which you spoke of by keeping it.
Is that you singing Travis? Nice voice!
steady-eddie.
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Hi Ed Thanks once again for your help. I'm with you and Vic on the CRY line and intend to try to get another take. Not not my voice Ed. I'm not gifted enough to carry any tune John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hi Travis:
I'm doing my best to share my thoughts and Windows 10 keeps interfering. First, since it was written with a female vocalist in mind, I thought Mimmo did a great job with the vocal... but I'd love to hear a great female vocalist do this one for you. Theatrical genre... yeah... but could be much more depending on the arrangement. Enjoyed my listen and as always, your lyric is the backbone of this work. Thanks for sharing. ----Dave
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Thanks Dave for your comments and listen. Much appreciated Travis
Last edited by Travis david; 10/02/17 11:49 PM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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enjoyed this collab, Travis. "Works for me."
Douglas
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hi Travis, I like the singer and the lyric. The arrangement feels like a long intro until about the two minute mark, and I got a little restless for the drums and bass to kick in..I'd either go all the way theatre piece and create a really dynamic piano arrangement and go either just piano and vocal, or go full band with the drums and bass kicking in at the start of V2 at the latest. Just my humble two-cents. Also, Mimmo sings "live" like "leave" and it was making it hard to understand the meaning of the words without reading them. All in all really nice song and performance and write. Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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A theatre piece for sure. Mimmo has a lovely voice (though, as you say, this was originally written for a female vocalist). Nice change-up into the bridge. (I'm with the others regarding the repetition of 'I cry'.) A couple of lyrical suggestions below, just in case you were planning to make any changes for a female vocalist. Keep or sweep, of course. Donna Who's Going to Hold me When I cry? Title could be tighter. If you adjust line 4 in each verse, the title could simply be 'Who'd Be There to Hold Me'.v 1 Started thinking how I'd feel if you should go how would I carry on, would my feelings show? Would I laugh again, how slow would time go by? And who's going to hold me when I cry? The tense needs to change here, as it's not consistent with the preceding lines where you use the conditional (if…would), and the singer is describing a hypothetical situation. Use of the future tense in line 4 indicates that the person is definitely leaving, which is not the case. I suggest something like 'And who'd be there to hold me when I cry?'. v 2 They say time heals wounds, but time moves so slow, one minute you'd be here, for eternity you'd go. Could I live without you, would I live a lie? And who's going to hold me when I cry? Suggest same change as above. Tense needs to be the same as in the previous lines.Bridge Can't believe how good you've made me feel have to pinch myself to make sure it's real Keep to myself these foolish fears all the uncertainty and silly tears. V3 Couldn't even go away to hide the pain wherever I'd go, couldn't bear to hear your name. Would I meet a new love, with some another guy? would he hold me like you did when I cried? OK. The tense is half correct here. Suggest 'Would he hold me like you do when I cry'.
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Thanks Michael and Donna. The points raised will be addressed for another take. Donna the full title is all important I think. The shortened version I feel would make it just another song. I try and in fact have my dusty rusty brain powered up for unique hooks- often failing miserably Cheers and thank you both Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hi Guys....Was just listening to the mix we had on here, I guess John never posted the new version. https://soundcloud.com/domenic-mercurio/w-igoing-to-holdcals-guitarmar27Lyrics: John Vaughan Vocals: Dom Mercurio Guitars: Mark A. Shrider Flute: Daniel J. Moore Guitar :Cal DiFalco Gary Miller: Piano, Strings Flute and Tremolo Strings (From midi) Andy Gupta: Guitar,Bass, Drums and French Horn in the ending Rest of instruments and Mix Master done by Dom Mercurio Who is Going to Hold me When I cry? Started thinking how I'd feel if you should go how would I carry on, would my feelings show? Would I laugh again, how slow would time go by? And who is going to hold me when... I cry? They say that time will heal all wounds, but it moves so slow, one minute you are here, for eternity you'd go. Could I live without you, would I live a lie? And who is going to hold me when... I cry? Can't believe how good you've made me feel have to pinch my self to see... it is all real Keep to myself these foolish fears all the uncertainty and silly tears. Couldn't even go away to hide the pain wherever I would go, couldn't bare to hear your name. Will you find new love, in some other guy? Would he hold you like I did when... you cried? (c) John Vaughan/Travis David
Last edited by Mimmo; 09/02/18 01:22 PM.
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Travis
What a sophisticated arrangement you have here! Lots of skilled musicians brought to bear. I agree it feels like a song from a Broadway musical.
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Travis
What a sophisticated arrangement you have here! Lots of skilled musicians brought to bear. I agree it feels like a song from a Broadway musical. Thank you Mike for your comment. Mimmo
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Wow! This arrangement gives a whole new meaning to the word "lush." It holds nothing back. I love that. It has a real dramatic European feel to it - Italian? It also has a 1960s feeling (in a good way). I see a video that is all unbuttoned shirt, gold medallion and smoldering looks directly into the camera. Maybe on a rocky beach Some of the 1960s feel might come from the background hiss in my headphones that made me think I was listening to a vinyl record. Was that deliberate? Great vocal performance too! By the way, SoundCloud lets you change the tittle to just the song name. I noticed you had the whole file name there, which was too long to fit.
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Hi Gavin Thank you so much for listening to the song and for your comments. I don't think I was looking for the European sound for it, if that's what it is, probably just happened. When I read the lyrics a big orchestra came to mind and slowly it became what it is now. I did have help by some great musicians too.
I was born in Italy, but live in Canada, I've been here for a long time. I'm not sure about the hiss you hear, if there is, was not intentionally. I've listened to a few different files, I'm not sure I hear it.
Thanks for the tip about Sounclowd...I did edit the file...But it's still too long
Regards Mimmo
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