Who's Online Now
10 members (Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill), 4,088 guests, and 270 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
She’s missing but she ain’t missing him
by ckiphen - 03/23/24 08:44 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Make my dreams come true
by ckiphen - 03/22/24 10:51 AM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
#1130888 09/22/17 11:46 AM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
OP Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
kickin' around with this one.

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13632598

Come On Home

Another lonely night in this dirty old city
Just another face in the crowd
The bright lights only get me dizzy
And the heartbeat of this city pounds too loud

Screams and shouts up and down the sidewalk
Sirens and horns they blast the night
Peace and quiet is the only dream that i stalk
And to see one star would surely be a delight

Back in my mind i hear them say
That city's gonna eat you up alive
They may be right but i'm here to stay
Though their plea echos deep down inside
Come on home,back where you belong,come on home,i hear them say
Come on home,back where you belong,come on home,don't fade away

Another hustle in the midnight shadows
Doing what it takes to make ends meet
Reaping bad habits in these concrete furrows
Missing the cool dirt beneath my feet

At nineteen you think that you know it all
No one can tell you any difference
You only learn by surviving every fall
And losing time and love at your expense

repeat chorus

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Sounding good Mike.
Always love that fish outta water... thinking of home sentiment.

Maybe a few more lines about home. I like the cool dirt beneath my feet line.

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035
Likes: 2
9ne Offline
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035
Likes: 2
Liked the lyric and music, but it didn't have enough difference in the melody for me.
Good luck with this!
-Mike



Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264
Likes: 4
T
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
T
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264
Likes: 4
An old theme Mike but you have managed to create the right feel in this one.
Good one
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911
Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
Offline
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911
Likes: 1
Good one Mike but I am left wondering why does he stay in the city if it is lonely, loud, etc. There must be a force that makes him stay.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
OP Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
thanx Mr. Nelson! Mike

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
OP Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
say there 9ne,thanks for the visit and i have to agree with you.Mike

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
OP Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
thank ya Travis,an old theme sits well with an old man. Mike

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
OP Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
hey Colin,yes there must be something n his hard head to make himself stay,maybe at that age where he thinks he knows what he wants but it aint working and he's not giving in though it is getting to him.And i did ask myself this same question a few times when i got through writing it,oh well,movin' on as usual.I appreciate ya! Mike

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Pretty cool Mike.

I was wondering if "maybe" the first two lines of the last two verses might be reversed? My thought was that it may give the last verse a more summarizing effect with the futility. Not sure, but just thought it might be worth consideration. Nice work Mike!

steady-eddie.

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325
Likes: 4
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325
Likes: 4
"At nineteen you think that you know it all
No one can tell you any difference
You only learn by surviving every fall
And losing time and love at your expense"

love the overall feel of this one Michael from the vocals, the lyrics, and the production. My only "nit" is the bridge it sounds forced. How about?

"At nineteen you think that you know it all
No one can tell you any different
You only learn by surviving every fall
And losing time and love to ignorance."

Just a thought.

Douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
I know you don't re-write after you post a song but...if you did, there is a lot of trimming you could do to make it sing smoother. I think with this kind of lyrical theme, the more stark the language, the more powerful, almost like the city has sucked the energy and soul out of him and it's an effort just to think about it. Just my 2 cents.

Ricki

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035
Likes: 2
9ne Offline
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035
Likes: 2
You don't re-write? If that's true, wouldn't it be better to say you're not accepting suggestions? Not being antagonistic Mike, just curious...



Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
OP Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
hey 9ne,i used to rewrite but i know these songs are just for my personal use and they'll be just stuck in a box.HOWEVER,the songs i collaborate on,that's a different matter.I will rework those and try to improve to help the song the best i can for me and the cowriter,as i appreciate any one that has interest in my lyrics to do so.I'm just saying i rarely rewrite my lyrics on the ones that do just for myself.If that makes sense.And i do like getting suggestions as that helps me improve in my writing [sometimes].Sometimes i use the suggestions in the next lyric or at least be aware of it.I hope you understand what i'm saying here and don't think i don't like suggestions,there's always room for improvement.Maybe i'm lazy or i just like to write and move on to the next. Mike

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280
Likes: 3
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280
Likes: 3
Crap Michael I missed this song..ok I don`t know if you started this in a minor, but thats appealing to me, Ricki says it could be trimmed a bit, I agree with that. I like the song. Mike...like you... sometimes I write little 2min songs and they go in a folder for my kids, and I say they might want to drag them out someday and have at them. They all play. and then sometimes I bang back into them..anyway you go its a keeper.. Lane

Last edited by lane1777; 09/24/17 08:40 PM.


"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction,
one might save you from the other...Vincent
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Mike,

Great lyric and vocal phrasing, and I really dig the vibe of the overall sound..

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)

Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5