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Joined: Jan 2005
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kickin' around with this one. https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13632598Come On Home Another lonely night in this dirty old city Just another face in the crowd The bright lights only get me dizzy And the heartbeat of this city pounds too loud Screams and shouts up and down the sidewalk Sirens and horns they blast the night Peace and quiet is the only dream that i stalk And to see one star would surely be a delight Back in my mind i hear them say That city's gonna eat you up alive They may be right but i'm here to stay Though their plea echos deep down inside Come on home,back where you belong,come on home,i hear them say Come on home,back where you belong,come on home,don't fade away Another hustle in the midnight shadows Doing what it takes to make ends meet Reaping bad habits in these concrete furrows Missing the cool dirt beneath my feet At nineteen you think that you know it all No one can tell you any difference You only learn by surviving every fall And losing time and love at your expense repeat chorus
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Joined: Jun 2010
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Sounding good Mike. Always love that fish outta water... thinking of home sentiment.
Maybe a few more lines about home. I like the cool dirt beneath my feet line.
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Liked the lyric and music, but it didn't have enough difference in the melody for me. Good luck with this! -Mike
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Joined: Jun 2011
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An old theme Mike but you have managed to create the right feel in this one. Good one Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: May 2006
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Good one Mike but I am left wondering why does he stay in the city if it is lonely, loud, etc. There must be a force that makes him stay.
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say there 9ne,thanks for the visit and i have to agree with you.Mike
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thank ya Travis,an old theme sits well with an old man. Mike
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hey Colin,yes there must be something n his hard head to make himself stay,maybe at that age where he thinks he knows what he wants but it aint working and he's not giving in though it is getting to him.And i did ask myself this same question a few times when i got through writing it,oh well,movin' on as usual.I appreciate ya! Mike
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Pretty cool Mike.
I was wondering if "maybe" the first two lines of the last two verses might be reversed? My thought was that it may give the last verse a more summarizing effect with the futility. Not sure, but just thought it might be worth consideration. Nice work Mike!
steady-eddie.
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Joined: Jan 2009
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"At nineteen you think that you know it all No one can tell you any difference You only learn by surviving every fall And losing time and love at your expense"
love the overall feel of this one Michael from the vocals, the lyrics, and the production. My only "nit" is the bridge it sounds forced. How about?
"At nineteen you think that you know it all No one can tell you any different You only learn by surviving every fall And losing time and love to ignorance."
Just a thought.
Douglas
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I know you don't re-write after you post a song but...if you did, there is a lot of trimming you could do to make it sing smoother. I think with this kind of lyrical theme, the more stark the language, the more powerful, almost like the city has sucked the energy and soul out of him and it's an effort just to think about it. Just my 2 cents.
Ricki
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You don't re-write? If that's true, wouldn't it be better to say you're not accepting suggestions? Not being antagonistic Mike, just curious...
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hey 9ne,i used to rewrite but i know these songs are just for my personal use and they'll be just stuck in a box.HOWEVER,the songs i collaborate on,that's a different matter.I will rework those and try to improve to help the song the best i can for me and the cowriter,as i appreciate any one that has interest in my lyrics to do so.I'm just saying i rarely rewrite my lyrics on the ones that do just for myself.If that makes sense.And i do like getting suggestions as that helps me improve in my writing [sometimes].Sometimes i use the suggestions in the next lyric or at least be aware of it.I hope you understand what i'm saying here and don't think i don't like suggestions,there's always room for improvement.Maybe i'm lazy or i just like to write and move on to the next. Mike
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Crap Michael I missed this song..ok I don`t know if you started this in a minor, but thats appealing to me, Ricki says it could be trimmed a bit, I agree with that. I like the song. Mike...like you... sometimes I write little 2min songs and they go in a folder for my kids, and I say they might want to drag them out someday and have at them. They all play. and then sometimes I bang back into them..anyway you go its a keeper.. Lane
Last edited by lane1777; 09/24/17 08:40 PM.
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Hi Mike,
Great lyric and vocal phrasing, and I really dig the vibe of the overall sound..
Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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