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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/04/24 12:47 PM
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 87
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 87 |
Would love thoughts and feedback
Watch it Fade (Anteros Eyes)
Copyright © 2017 Val Davis
He laid her down as to love her
In a gnomes bed in the new spring woods
Under a canopy dressed in sunlight
She brought him into her and it was good
And their love grew like the wildflowers
In an open space under the moon
But what has a start also must end
So it lasted from june to june
(Chorus)
Anteros' eyes would not gaze on them
Cupid's arrows didn't find their stay.
Though this love is big like the old grand canyon
Slowly in times' river ....watch it fade.
She wrapped herself in the family woven
And held on tightly to those tattered ends
She swore the comfort would not unravel
And together the fabric they would mend
In angers eyes she found her strength
To build a wall that would not fail
Eyes set forward onto the high ground
She set her self free and onto sail.
(Chorus)
Anteros' eyes would not gaze on them
Cupid's arrows didn't find their stay .
Though this love is big like the old grand canyon
Slowly in times' river ....watch it fade.
(Refrain)
Dust has settled on home forgotten
The barren place where life was made
Sometimes with eyes closed she does remember
Those lovely times by his side will not fade.
(Chorus)
Anteros' eyes would not gaze on them
Cupid's arrows didn't find their stay.
Though this love is big like the old grand canyon
Slowly in times' river ....watch it fade.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
A good story Val well wriiten.Poetic. As a suggestin I'd drop the moon/ June rhyme. It's overdone and I'm sure you can come up with a better alternative Regards Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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