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#1130126 - 08/24/17 10:32 AM SHOE WITH A STONE(first rewrite)  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,237
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,237
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
.

Like A Shoe With A Stone Inside (Vaughn & Cotton)

Playing the field one goal in sight
Chasing the ladies
Losing track of time

Done so many things that I ain't proud of
with the only reason, being just because

Like a shoe with a stone inside
My guilt tells me how I lived a lie
Seen enough of the city sights
All that I want to see tonight
Are the lights of home . And you

As an aside to running around
Are boozing and betting
No one trusts me now

Done so many things again and again
When I count my fingers, can't count a friend

Like a shoe with a stone inside
My guilt tells me how I lived a lie
Seen enough of the city sights
All that I want to see tonight
Are the lights of home . And you

Through the haze where I was trapped
I heard those calls you made each day
I ought to have made a few taps
And say I'm coming home OK?

Like a shoe with a stone inside
My guilt tells me how I lived a lie
Seen enough of the city sights
All that I want to see tonight
Are the lights of home . And you


------''-------------

Shoe with a stone

Playing the field scaling the heights
losing track of time
Daytime merging to night

Done so many things that I ain't proud of
with the only reason, just because

Feels like a shoe with a stone inside
Reminding me how I lived a lie
Seen enough of the city sites feeling alone
All that I want to see now is the lights of home

Yes there were ladies by the score
and I had no pride
kept an open back door

Done so many things again and again
when I counted my fingers,couldnt count a friend


Feels like a shoe with a stone inside
Reminding me of how I used to live a lie
Seen enough of the city sights that I combed
All that I want to see now is the lights of home


And through the haze that often lingered
I heard the same song. Didn't know the singer
Got all the letters I should have replied too
but it only took one to say,I'm coming home to you

Chorus


---------------------------'--'''
Played the field scaled the hights
lost track of time
Missed daytime merging to night

Done so many things that I ain't proud of
with the only answer just because

Feels like a shoe with a stone in
Reminding me of how I used to live
Seen enough of the city sights that I combed
All that I want to see now is the lights of home

There were ladies by the score
I weren't proud
But made them know mines a swinging door

Done so many things again and again
when I counted my fingers,could count a friend


Feels like a shoe with a stone in
Reminding me of how I used to live
Seen enough of the city sights that I combed
All that I want to see now is the lights of home


And through the haze that often lingered
I heard the same song. Didn't know the singer
Got all the letters I should have replied too
but it only took one to say,I'm coming g home to you


Feels like a shoe with a stone in
Reminding me of how I used to live
Seen enough of the city sights that I combed
All that I want to see now is the lights of home


Last edited by Travis david; 09/11/17 10:09 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1130316 - 09/01/17 11:38 AM Re: SHOE WITH A STONE(first rewrite) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,078
Neil Cotton Online content
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Neil Cotton  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,078
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
This has some potential Travis.


http://www.myspace.com/neilcotton http://upickedcotton.tripod.com/neil
#1130318 - 09/01/17 12:08 PM Re: SHOE WITH A STONE(first rewrite) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,078
Neil Cotton Online content
Top 100 Poster
Neil Cotton  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,078
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Just putting this out...not that it is better, just different.

Like A Shoe With A Stone Inside (Vaughn & Cotton)

Playing the field one goal in sight
Chasing the ladies
Losing track of time

Done so many things that I ain't proud of
with the only reason, being just because

Like a shoe with a stone inside
My guilt tells me how I lived a lie
Seen enough of the city sights
All that I want to see tonight
Are the lights of home . And you

As an aside to running around
Are boozing and betting
No one trusts me now

Done so many things again and again
When I count my fingers, can't count a friend

Like a shoe with a stone inside
My guilt tells me how I lived a lie
Seen enough of the city sights
All that I want to see tonight
Are the lights of home . And you

Through the haze where I was trapped
I heard those calls you made each day
I ought to have made a few taps
And say I'm coming home OK?

Like a shoe with a stone inside
My guilt tells me how I lived a lie
Seen enough of the city sights
All that I want to see tonight
Are the lights of home . And you

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 09/01/17 08:50 PM.

http://www.myspace.com/neilcotton http://upickedcotton.tripod.com/neil
#1130319 - 09/01/17 12:08 PM Re: SHOE WITH A STONE(first rewrite) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,078
Neil Cotton Online content
Top 100 Poster
Neil Cotton  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,078
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
see above!

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 09/01/17 03:11 PM.

http://www.myspace.com/neilcotton http://upickedcotton.tripod.com/neil
#1130571 - 09/11/17 10:08 AM Re: SHOE WITH A STONE(first rewrite) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,237
Travis david Online content
Top 20 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 20 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,237
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Thanks Neil
Like your take


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1130685 - 09/15/17 01:51 AM Re: SHOE WITH A STONE(first rewrite) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 278
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 278
Travis,

You have a knack for coming up with some great song tiles and refrains--this one is no exception. There's so much potential here with what you have in mind, and you've already made some good changes in the rewrites. Looking forward to how the final turns out.

Regards,

Deej

#1130696 - 09/15/17 07:36 AM Re: SHOE WITH A STONE(first rewrite) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,237
Travis david Online content
Top 20 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 20 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,237
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Cheers Deej.
Appreciate your read and comoments
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

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