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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4
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As some know I am recovering from a second heart attack. Last night, in a dream, I found myself at a Way Station looking for....well being surprised by who I met. [It was my Uncle Jimmy Cantley whom I have not thought of in years] and waking feeling so very relaxed so much for a brief moment I thought that maybe I had passed on. The feeling lasted and this lyric came out of it. I would have preferred the actual ending of the lyric. https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/player.cfm?type=single&songid=13627354&q=hi&newref=1Way Station [09/08/2017 [V] stopped at a way station on my way to heavens door. there were so many people I'd never seen before. [C] we stood at the way station together yet still on our own. waiting there at the way station for a loved one to take us home. [V] there were moms, dads and there were children all standing, waiting to see. who'd be coming to greet us everyone excited like me. [C] we stood at the way station together yet still on our own. waiting there at the way station for a loved one to take us home. [B] one by one came our dearest to embrace and to lead the way. their smiles lit up the heavens but no one was to meet me this day. [V] woke up to sounds of voices, to tears of joy and relief. my heart had stopped beating, but my time gone had only been brief. [V] but before I returned to the living my heart filled up with joy. heard my mother and my father saying they can wait for their little boy. Copyright 2017
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280 Likes: 3
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I like story songs Doug, very well written, just one little nit I have ...not much change between the verse and the chorus, but its a keeper. Lane
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
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Joined: Dec 2016
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Doug,
I really liked this tune--so well done. I understand Lane's comment above, but I'm not as bothered by the differentiation musically between the verse and chorus. Yes, it's a subtle difference musically, but the "we stood at the way station"/ "waiting at the way station" refrain in the first and third lines of the chorus, to me at least, helps set the chorus apart distinctively. Simply put, IMHO, it works just fine as is.
If I had one suggestion for you to consider it's this: I might rethink the last verse, and rather end on a third chorus (or maybe a modified chorus to capture elements of what you are expressing in the last verse). But that's just me and how I'm hearing it--without a return to the chorus it seems a less complete finale to me. As I am with many things, I'm likely wrong about that--but offering it up for what it's worth.
Loved my listen!
Regards
Deej
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
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Hi Doug. Welcome back sorry to hear about your poor health of late. Truly hope you have better luck in the coming months and years. A nice pleasant intro and a good vocal, you're in fine voice and handle this song well. A good singable tune to remember. Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
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What a beautiful song Douglas. Love the overall sentiment, very touching, especially loved the bridge.
The only problem for me was the words “our dearest”. It lead me to think that he too had someone there to meet him, which of course is proven not to be the case in the last line.
You might try……
one by one came the dearest to embrace and to lead the way. their smiles lit up the heavens but no one was to meet me this day.
Or maybe
one by one came the dearly departed to embrace and to lead the way. their smiles lit up the heavens but no one was to meet me this day.
The difference being that now as the listener, I’m making the assumption that your loved ones are included in the ones coming to embrace and lead the way but you never actually say that.
Creative twist and a very warm and heartfelt song.
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
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Joined: May 2017
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Lovely song. I have to agree with Lane. It could benefit a lot from a variation between verse and chorus. Not difficult to do. Just start the chorus on a different chord. You kind of get way with the lack of variation because the lyric and story are so strong and hold our interest, but, in my opinion, it could be even better with a bit more musical interest.
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,242
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A very heartfelt and touching song - thanks enjoyed it very much- thanks for sharing it with me...Pete
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Joined: Jan 2009
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thank you all for your comments and suggestions. Always appreciated.
Douglas
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