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#1130040 - 08/19/17 08:29 PM Life Wish novella  
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couchgrouch Online content
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Hi folks…I’m a little stymied about what to say but here it is. My novella is now available on Amazon Kindle for 2.99. It’s called “Life Wish” and I think I can recommend it with pride. Over the past few years I’ve been steadily running low on steam as far as enthusiasm for lyrics and poetry. I feel I’ve approached it from every angle conceivable and now it’s time to move on.

I got the idea for Life Wish several years ago and originally planned on writing it as a screenplay. I abandoned that and wrote it as a novella. I’m very proud of it, especially since I’m even less drawn to changing my ways at fifty-two than I was when I first hit the internet in Feb. 1999.

I’m fairly certain people will be entertained by it, or I wouldn’t have published it on Kindle. Below is a link or you can just do a search for “Life Wish, Robert George “, on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074Y87FP...1-1&keywords=Life+Wish+Robert+George




Here is an excerpt to give readers a sample of its flavor. There is a post on Musesmuse from 2014 in which someone mentioned they preferred my style of writing from when I first came on the internet to the style I developed later on. Anyone else who feels that way should enjoy the book. I hope they, and anyone else who buys it does.


I’m grateful to all those who’ve read my stuff for nearly twenty years now, especially those who turned my lyrics in to wonderful songs. At any age, there’s always time for one more life wish.

Robert George 8-19-2017



Claire walked to her prowler car, stood and looked around. The Camry. The VW bus. A calico cat staring through the glass door of the office. What could it hurt? Van Zandt’s off for two weeks starting tomorrow. She walked over to the VW and looked at the doors in front of it. She put her ear to a few. Then she walked up the cement stairs. They were stained with fossilized gum, bird [naughty word removed], dried soda spills, a few shards of glass and cigarette butts. She put her ear to a few more doors, feeling like an Apache brave with his ear to some railroad tracks. Bingo…205. TV…Skinemax from the sound of it.
She knocked firmly three times. She heard footsteps and a balding man in his mid-30s answered the door. No chain. Light brown hair that hadn’t been washed in weeks was imprisoned in a pony tail tied with a big rubber band. He wore a wrinkled white t-shirt with a decal on the front. It resembled that famous blurry picture of “Big Foot” strolling through the trees. He had a mole that looked like a melted Hershey’s Kiss on the left side of his upper lip. He spoke with a squeaky, rodent-like voice.

“You’re early…aaand you’re dressed like a cop. Dammit, you’re supposed to be dressed in plain clothes, with a trench coat. Plus, you’re supposed to be a redhead. [naughty word removed]. Never mind…you’ll do.” He looked out the door, right and left. “Well…get in here.”
Claire hesitated a moment. Just go with it. This guy seems harmless. And stupid. She walked in and looked around. A 40 of Schlitz and a bong with a naked girl on the side graced the night stand. Next to it was a baggie with a teaspoon full of white powder. A pack of beer nuts lay on the bed. The TV was blessed with a topless girl sudsing up a Bullit Charger with a big, purple sponge. In the bottom right hand corner of the screen was a PSA that read, “You are watching Wild Things 4 on Cinemax Ultra. Her mind wandered for a second…”You know, the first one wasn’t bad…Kevin Bacon’s bacon was…”

His hands snaked around her waist from behind. “What do you say we get down to business, Agent Scully? I’ve got an alien ready to burst out of my pants…”
She instantly wedged her hands between his arms and her waist and forced them out, breaking his light grip. She whirled and whipped her baton in one fluid motion, hitting him square across the midriff. He stumbled back, doubled over while holding both hands to his gut. His face was pointed down at the [naughty word removed]-brown carpet. He moaned, let out a hybrid of a burp and a hiccup, then he puked. Foamy gold liquid
and beer nut splinters. He gasped for breath, his chest jerking up and down. He burped again and out dropped more splinters. Claire watched him without compassion, gripping the night stick like she was preventing it from whacking him in the head.

He straightened up slowly. “Bitch, whadjyoudothatfor?”
That stick really wanted to go upside his jaw. “If you wanted to get paid up front, you coulda just said so. I usually pay after.”
“I’m a cop, you fucking moron. A real cop.”
“A cop? What’re you doin’ here?” He hustled to the window and looked out the curtain. All quiet. He wiped a cobweb on his pants and said, “You alone? What is this?”
“I just wanted to ask you a few questions about the other night, dipshit.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.” He caught his breath for a second. She looked around a little more. An iPad on his bed was open to a webpage that said, “Talk of the Town” in tawdry red letters at the top. She looked at his feet. His toenails were more jagged than the glass on the outside stairs. She noticed a wet spot around his zipper. He saw where her eyes were looking and clasped his hands over his zipper. “I-uh-spilled my beer when you knocked.”
“Pull yourself together, for Chrissake.” The stain had spread down his pants. He walked over by the bed and stepped in the sick. He wiped his heel on the carpet.
“I told that guy the other night that I didn’t see nothin’”
“Nothing?”
“No. Wait, what…you think I did it??”
“I kinda doubt it, Doc Holliday.”
He was almost dispirited. “Then what?”
“Just a follow up. That’s all. Walk me through it. What’d you see?”
“I told you…I didn’t see a thing.”
“Fine…what happened.”
“I was working on my iPad and I…”
“What time was this?”
“Like I already told the other guy, sometime around seven.”
“Ok, what then?”
“I heard a loud bang that sounded like a backfire, maybe louder. I looked out the window and went back to doin’ what I was doin’.”
“That’s it? You didn’t see a car driving off?”
“NO!”
“How long did it take you to get to the window?”
“A few seconds.”
Bu-u-u-rrrpp…
“We’re you shitfaced?”
He looked at his feet, then at the TV. She was drying off the hood. She…
Claire waved the night stick in his face.
“We’re you shitfaced?”
“Yeah. So what? I…didn’t…see…nothin’.”
He saw Claire looking at the bong and baggie. “Are you gonna bust me?”
“Do you have any priors?”
“No.”
“You’ve never been arrested?”
“No, I said.”
“Keep it that way, Brainiac. You wouldn’t survive a week in jail. What’re you even doing in town?”
Silence.
“Well?”
“I’m on disability.”
“Oh---Kay…”
“I—travel around and…report stuff.”
“Stuff? To who?”
He wiggled his right leg a little. His foot was wet.
“Look…just forget it. Good-bye….for now.”
She opened the door and saw a dyed red head in a trench coat walking up the stairs. She looked puzzled when she saw Claire. Claire shook her head, smirked and said as she passed her,
“I hope you’re gettin’ top dollar for this one, Honey.”

#1130044 - 08/20/17 08:14 AM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Sounds interesting Robert. Good luck with it! Now I know your real name isn't Couch Grouch. laugh

Best, John smile

#1130051 - 08/20/17 02:32 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Hell of a lot better than "See Spot Run" (Never liked "Puff") Rob; and that remains a favourite!
I ordered it because anything I can do to help get you out of that refrigerator box and into some proper digs; I'm for!

All the luck in the world Robert!
-Mike

P.S.
Sorry Rob, I only got the first line read and I couldn't stop laughing, I'll have to come back later when the "flashback" wears off....

#1130052 - 08/20/17 04:25 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: 9ne]  
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Thanks guys. smile

Mike, when my wife first read it, she had two main reactions...she was horrified and laughing. Other reactions, too, but those were her first gut responses.

I hope you like it in its entirety. I think you will...I wouldn't have put it on Kindle if I thought it was a yawn. smile

#1130053 - 08/20/17 04:58 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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BTW, my bro started making a Kindle Book a couple weeks ago. Hasn't figured everything out yet. Can you give us your method in making a Kindle Book of your novella (pitfalls to overcome)? I'll probably download your Kindle this week. Always like a good mystery.

Best, John smile

#1130054 - 08/20/17 05:18 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: John Lawrence Schick]  
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John, you write the book. Go to Amazon and sign up for Kindle Direct Publishing. Then click on "bookshelf". It walks you through. My book does not have a cover but I'll bet anyone with grade school computer skills could put one on there. Other than that, it's like uploading a song to Soundclick. Real simple.

If you have any trouble, just call Amazon. They are extremely helpful.

#1130055 - 08/20/17 05:47 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Originally Posted by couchgrouch
John, you write the book. Go to Amazon and sign up for Kindle Direct Publishing. Then click on "bookshelf". It walks you through. My book does not have a cover but I'll bet anyone with grade school computer skills could put one on there. Other than that, it's like uploading a song to Soundclick. Real simple.

If you have any trouble, just call Amazon. They are extremely helpful.


Easy for you to say. laugh

John smile

#1130056 - 08/20/17 06:44 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: John Lawrence Schick]  
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Really, John...if I can upload a book there, anyone can. Takes ten minutes.

#1130057 - 08/20/17 07:09 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Do you work from Microsoft Word? Do your page numbers line up correctly after uploading? Or do you use a pdf file?

John smile

#1130058 - 08/20/17 09:22 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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I think I work from Word. I don't know what a PDF file is which should tell you the level of skill needed to do it. smile

#1130064 - 08/21/17 10:30 AM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Originally Posted by couchgrouch
I think I work from Word. I don't know what a PDF file is which should tell you the level of skill needed to do it. smile


A pdf file is kind of a snap-shot of your Word file.Just used for display (can't edit it). I was told it doesn't work well for Kindle Books, but is fine for paperbacks.

Hope you sell a lot of books Robert!

John smile

#1130065 - 08/21/17 10:52 AM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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I hope I sell five!

#1130068 - 08/21/17 12:41 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Well I bought one so you only need 4 more to be on the same page as Patterson, King, and Koontz!

#1130070 - 08/21/17 02:03 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Well, my next one is about a spider eating serial killer on the run from zoo animals run amuck in a city sealed under an invisible dome. I'll be in the $$$ as soon as it's finished!!

#1130080 - 08/22/17 02:05 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Just purchased your novella Robert. Hear the register going ching ching? I'll get around to reading it sometime this year.

Best, John wink

#1130081 - 08/22/17 02:12 PM Re: Life Wish novella [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Yes, YES, I do!! It sounds like the beginning of Pink Floyd's Money!

I'm going to put my earnings toward the Criterion Blu-rays of Asphalt Jungle and One-Eyed Jacks. My wife will be out of town for a week or so and it's gonna be old movies, beer and classic rock. smile


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