JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Leave It All Behind

Hello folks.
Yes, it's been awhile but I hope this post finds everyone in good health and spirits.

Having still not put a band together, to breathe life into my songs,
I continue, regrettably, banging on instruments and screaming into microphones.


In this one...... A rolling stone finally finds a reason to settle down....... ?

"Leave It All Behind"

Mister Nelson--

You don't need a band to promote a good thing-- I don't believe your songs would be any better with a band--you pulled me in again with just you and a fine story!

A very soulful song, my friend! Keep up the good work.

Mackie

Hello Mister Nelson.

Mackie beat me to the punch..........
You don't need a band when you're MISTER NELSON !
Very nicely done.

Calvin


GOOD GIRLS AND BAD BOYS..... http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Nelson...I'm really loving this..great job sir.....glyn

Very atmospheric. You really know how to paint a picture and your voice has a haunting lonely quality to it. I really liked this.

Do you think it is maybe a little long? The lyric and your voice are what make this song so good, rather than the melody. Not that there's anything wrong with the melody. Just that 6 minutes and 23 seconds is a long time. Also, I got a bit lost in the story at the "Lazy... Hazy... Summer day." part. Is that a flashback to an episode that made him the way he is?

I disagree with the others here. You do a really good job performing it, but It's a great song and I'd love to hear it sung by your band, if you ever get one together.

Hi Nelson... (Mister if you prefer... but I am much older... LOL!)

I really enjoyed your song. Took a moment yesterday to scan the lyric... and it left me wondering if my question would be answered after listening to it today? A bit long? Yes... but you had a story to tell... and you told it. Your vocals are really good and I believe the song can stand on it's own... as delivered with the plain, straightforward backing you provided. (This does not mean I would not like to hear a band or full-blown orchestra perform it.)

Thanks, as always, for sharing your talents with us. Bravo!

----Dave

I love it when a plan comes together.
Thank you much Brother Mackie

Well, Sir… … U R 2 Kind

Hey Glyn…
Glad you liked it.
Appreciate the spin…

Well thank you Sir.
I do appreciate your appreciation of my humble performance…… of my humble creation. 
As for melody, I’ve never really set down and written a melody for one of my songs. Though, I am starting to look into that aspect of songwriting.
I never consider length when editing a song.

Why he has become a rolling stone isn’t actual revealed in the song.
Verse one show’s an example of it and in verse two he finally meets someone for whom he is willing to change his ways, only to find that she apparently has the bug as well, i.e. she is singing the 2nd chorus.

HI Nelson,

Good to hear from you!

Really great song compositionally speaking and honest heartfelt vocal performance.

The song length only becomes a problem cuz the arrangement is kind of static (has no "build") or flat and so I imagine some attention spans may wander.

Mike

Good one Mr.Nelson. Been meaning to comment on this one for a day or so.
Travis

Nelson,

I loved the concept and as always, dig your special heartfelt unique vocal style which is "just you." I think this is a great demo in the sense that "yes" with little imagination, a sophisticated "orchestral" production could do a lot to give the song the "music build" as Mike Z suggested and would enhance this song which I agree--which in turn would keep the lay listener riveted given the song length. I have one I'm working on with about the same length--in which I'm addressing that very thing. I like the idea of having a unique long song on an album.

But my friend, you are such a talent, and I can always listen from beginning to end with your songs! My favorite thing about these lyrics are the "corollary" in which you so aptly develop here--really cool!

steady-eddie

I copy that...... Mike.
Usually when someone mentions the length of one of my songs my mind immediately goes to, arrangement and performance.

This is the second go round for this piece.
Feeling good about the direction.
I'll let it marinate a bit before taking another stab at it.

As always appreciate your time and insight.

Thank you much Travis

Yeah, it took quite a while to get the idea fleshed out, lyrically and I guess the music deserves just as much attention.

I'm sure yours will turn out wonderfully because like Mike Z, your attention to detail and creativity both musically and vocally lends itself to forward leaning dynamic pieces.

As always appreciate your time and insight.

Oops, Thought I responded to you Dave...... my apologies Sir.

Thank you for stopping by.
I will be working on a fuller musical arrangement.
Well... as full as my imagination and skills allow, eh?

Nelson,

You are right that I do pay attention to detail, and sometimes I'm guilty of "over-producing/over-tweaking." I'm striving to be a little more natural like you! We all are different artists and sometimes prefer "different" production/recording approaches. Keep being the natural "you," especially vocally, but hey, experimenting with the music and arrangements is part of the fun! So when (someone/me/anyone) offers their ideas--they're only just ideas for a different/optional perceived sound. What is key about "sugs/crits," IMO, is when someone offers you a opinion, that they should elaborate as to "why".......and even then, you will always make the final call for your "own" reasons as an artist--and you do that well.........and maybe this is why you are often referred as "Mr. Nelson."

Beat regards!

steady-eddie

Well I'm not sure ‘bout that but I came up with the name “MisterNelson”, for my imaginary band. It’s the least cool name I could think of.


I’ve always been detail oriented when it comes to writing lyrics and the placement of the words to the music. I think you guys call it prosody… (Not sure) but I always give myself a pass on the music. You know the ole… “I’m not really a musician”. As silly as it may sound, my biggest concern to date, is that my songs don’t all sound alike.
Now I guess it’s time to raise the bar and dig a little deeper, eh?

Good to hear from you
Keep push'n

Nelson

It's been a while since I had a Mr Nelson song to listen to, and I always enjoy them.

This one though...I'm on the fence. I get the story and I like the overall concept but it's just not believable. I can buy into the first verse and pre-chorus but the chorus itself is too long. It could be a whole other verse on its own, as an explanation for why he can't settle down. If you did that, then you could make the pre-chorus the chorus.

What I don't buy is V2. She thanks her luck stars for him but when he proposes, she gives him the same explanation (pre-chorus and chorus) he gave in V1? It doesn't feel real to me, at least not as written. I get that you want to turn the tables on him but it feels forced this way. That chorus is just too long and specific for it to work in these two different scenarios.

I think the lyric would be stronger and more believable if you just focus on him and his inability to settle down. It would solve two issues; the too long for prime time, not that it really matters cause it's as long as you need it to be to tell your story, but it would make it shorter. Also, because there is so little variance between verse and chorus music, making the chorus another verse fixes that too.

Just my 2 cents worth. It's good to hear you again.

Ricki

My friend,

I wrote you a note for your birthday on FB, I hope it was a good one, please know I was thinking of you and missing you. I have been missing your art and when I saw that you posted, I was so happy to see you and hear your voice. Love the sound of that ice in the glass, you always put your heart in your songs and they need to be heard, band or no band....

Tammy

Ricki, I’ve been over your post quite a few times just to wrap my head around your take on the song and your suggestions.
I really appreciate you breaking your thoughts down for me.

As for the twist in the plot, I want it to be a shock, like it came out of nowhere.
I’m sure I could write around it, explaining some things and ease the blow a bit but I want the listener to be just as blindsided as the guy.

As for the length well, I'm letting the suggestions I'm getting marinate a bit.

Thank You much...... UR 2cents r welcomed any day.

Why don’t U get down off that fence and just ride with me darling.

My Friend, in the end, I'm riding with you all the way!

I haven't been on FB for a bit but thank you so much for the birthday wish and for stopping by and checking out the song.

For Tammy---"Speechless"

Even in the presents of the brilliant mid day sun...... You leave me speechless

When I see your love and attentiveness with your children...... You leave me speechless

When I hear the growth in your writing and the warmth of your performances...... You leave me speechless

And to hear you speak about my humble art and how it affects you, encourages me and leaves me speechless ~Nelson

HOT DIGGITY