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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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Joined: Apr 2008
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the shortest story I have..
from [things I see in the dead of night]
a [true tale]
While driving by a local burial site late in the day, the sun was hiding behind the trees. I happened to notice a lady at a grave. She was down on bended knees, she bent her head foward and tears fell freely. Sobbing with all her heart, she leaned against the stone.
Stopping, I wanted to make sure she was alright. Turning for one brief moment, I looked back and the lady was gone... I walked around to the front of the resting place, the grave was unattended, and had been there quite some time. And I read;
Leslie Ann Perry, and her baby Sarah Ann.
Both died at birth; "One within a few short minutes "and "One by choice"
Such sadness I turned to walk away. With the sun filtering through the trees playing with the autumn colors, I happened to notice the gleam of tears on the stone.....
Copyright © Vincent
Last edited by lane1777; 08/07/17 01:54 PM.
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Lane,
There's a nice spiritual feel to what you've started here. The concept resonates. I don't know if there's enough here to be a story--but there's more than enough here to be a moving poem. That's the way I'd go with it, IMHO. Move from narrative to verse and see where it takes you. I'm betting somewhere special.
Regards,
Deej
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In a few words, I think this says a lot and evokes a strong emotional response with a vivid visual of the graves.
"Both died at birth; "One with a few short minutes "and "One by choice""
That line seemed particularly succinct and compelling. Might change "with" to "within."
Martin
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thank you DJ , for the tip, I`ll get this in a little different form and see what happens, thay are just little things that happen in life, and sometimes they effect me enough to write down.
thank you Martin, for stopping in and taking time to comment,, I`m on the change right now.. Lane
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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