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#1129098 - 07/17/17 03:22 AM Alone Again (no music)  
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Kolstad Offline
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Kolstad  Offline
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Denmark
Somewhat dark song I wrote about 4 years ago, but never posted anywhere. Wonder how it comes across to you?

Edit: got plenty feedback, so the song is not available for more listens. Thanks.

Alone Again
©2013 Magne Kolstad

Alone again
Just to find Iím still the same
So much happened, nothing changed
Alone again

Alone again
The deep dark void pulls me in
On this old stage, Iím naked and
Alone again

For what itís worth, Iíll see it through
After all, itís nothing new

Alone again
I guess thatís how itís always been
The one bad dream that never ends
Alone again


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#1129099 - 07/17/17 08:58 AM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Dave Rice Online content
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Wow... Dark... Despondent... and so-o-o worth another listen. The brilliance of the diamond covered in all this darkness manages to shine through to the listener and burn it's way right into our souls. Moving and memorable, my friend. It's ready for the "big stage." Thanks for sharing. ----Dave

#1129102 - 07/17/17 09:17 AM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
Joined: May 2017
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Gavin Sinclair Offline
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Gavin Sinclair  Offline
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I liked the spare production - really suited to the lyric.

"Carry through" is not really idiomatic English. It's kind of a hybrid between "carry on" and "make it through." You might want to change it to "make it through.."

Also, the words "bad thing" in the line "The one bad thing that never ends" seem a bit weak to me. I don't know what it might be replaced with. It depends on what you are trying to say. Maybe something like....
"This dark night that never ends"

or maybe turn it into a question...
"Will this darkness never end?"

Just some suggestions, for what they are worth.

Last edited by Gavin Sinclair; 07/17/17 09:17 AM.
#1129124 - 07/17/17 10:24 PM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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California
Hi Magne,

Amazing work, this. Mysterious and sad, and very welcoming to the JJ Cale like left chan guitar that fills in the empty spaces.

This could easily work on a cable TV series..any scene with a character having a lonely moment..just kill the ambient sound and let this roll..perfect..the Vangelis-y stuff is subtly done, and combined with the JJ Cale-like guitar, you've create something truly unique sounding here..

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 07/17/17 10:25 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1129127 - 07/18/17 03:37 AM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Calvin Online content
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Hello Magne,


WOW, this is so nicely done, I'm totally impressed with it all.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1129146 - 07/18/17 07:57 PM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Mackie H. Offline
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NASHVILLE, TN
Magne--

Roy Orbison had a song--Only the Lonely--I don't know why, but I always thought it was because his kids died in a fire!

Your song set a mood of pure lonely with the music--but never really says why! Maybe just a bit more. Perhaps "I'll go on raching for you til the end"

I write a lot of sadness out of me too!

Mackie

#1129161 - 07/19/17 08:26 AM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Online content
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Short and dark, Magne, saying a lot with very few words. Well done.

Ricki

#1129311 - 07/25/17 11:22 PM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Kolstad,

This is solid from start to finish. Love the first verse, but everything that follows is equally stellar. Like the mood, the vocals, the guitar riffs in the background. Short, sweet, and sad. Cool, cool track.

All the best,

Deej

#1129491 - 08/02/17 04:09 PM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Kolstad Offline
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Thanks everyone, I'll see if I can take it over the top with a little more work. I find the last 5% up to a hundred is much harder than the first 95.


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#1129575 - 08/05/17 10:44 AM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Travis david Online content
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Great atmosphere created here Kolstad.
Solid throughout
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1129580 - 08/05/17 11:43 AM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Paul H. Gaines Offline
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Paul H. Gaines  Offline
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Sanger California
What a disturbing brilliant piece of moody music very edgy Pulled me right in...

Cheers
Paul


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1016904

Complacency is failure's mentor.
Book of Paulverbs
#1129584 - 08/05/17 04:16 PM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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ant Offline
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California
Good job. I love the overall production, it really sets a mood. If I had to suggest anything it'd be to look at "deep dark void", "this old stage" and "one bad dream". They all seem a bit overused and are opportunities to replace with something unique and visual. I thought of NIN's "Hurt" while listening to this. Most of the lyrics are straightforward, some even cliche (e.g., "sweetest friend") but a few phrases - "empire of dirt", "crown of sh*t" and "upon my liar's chair" - make it visual and memorable.

..ant


Stream my album "Out On The Road" at Spotify, Soundcloud and Apple Music.
#1129595 - 08/06/17 07:13 AM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Kolstad Offline
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Thanks guys, appreciate it.


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#1129598 - 08/06/17 12:01 PM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Vicarn Online content
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Hi Kolstad.

I would echo Mackie. If it's not the first time it probably needs a line in somewhere that tells us why he's "alone again".

e.g " History plays out the same old part". I did it again. Broke someone's heart.

The rest flows nicely.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.
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#1129599 - 08/06/17 12:03 PM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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lane1777 Offline
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south of the mason,dixon line
everyone likes this Magne and I can`t seem to get to it, I`d like to listen, like the lyric, simple and to the point. Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1129600 - 08/06/17 03:47 PM Re: Alone Again [Re: Kolstad]  
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Kolstad Offline
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Sorry to lead you on Vic and Lane, I took the song down again, but have noted it in the title of the post now. Thanks for commenting anyway.


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