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#1129068 - 07/15/17 12:56 PM Apart  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 930
lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 930
south of the mason,dixon line
they say this section does not get enough attention...lol...I`l just keep posting and reading.

[these are just little clips in life, I try to pretty them up.]



Apart

A notion that had lifted
heart and piece of the soul,
the crime had no beginning
held on to and end.

A meaningless breeze it was,
rush past all good
buries itself in infractions
hurried on.

It had come to words
without sorrow,
the eager peace one seeks.
It had come to a sad thing
and left me apart..


Copyright Vincent


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1129608 - 08/06/17 07:30 PM Re: Apart [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 303
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 303
Lane,

The last verse is really strong; there are some beautiful lines throughout. I get lost in the first verse, though, and the second doesn't help illuminate. It kind of leave me wondering . . . which may be the point. At any rate, take my comment for what they are worth--enjoyed the read.

Regards,

Deej

#1129637 - 08/07/17 12:45 PM Re: Apart [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 930
lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 930
south of the mason,dixon line
thanks DJ for commenting, a person once told me to let the reader form the image, or make the decision


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1129648 - 08/07/17 02:48 PM Re: Apart [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,233
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,233
UK
Looks like poetry, Lane.
It could mean many things and I'm sure you know what they are.
Could also be the bones of a decent song.

A notion that had lifted
heart and mind and soul,
was a crime with no beginning
and no place left to go

Don't mind me, I just like playing with lyrics.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.
http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold
#1129654 - 08/07/17 04:00 PM Re: Apart [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 930
lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 930
south of the mason,dixon line
thanks Vic, for taking time to comment, sometimes Vic I get back to the past, I was trying to say when two people start something good, little chips" erode it,,, not paying attention, and it can turn meaningless..and have you apart"

if there is a line or two you Like Vic..feel welcome to use them, no big thing. thanks again Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"

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