Four years ago this coming September I was sitting and waiting for for The Surgeon who did the biopsy to come in. I remember being nervous, sweating like a pig and in a Daze. I was hoping for the best BUT Not really ready for the worst....BUT in a few minutes Placido Roquiz came in in a white coat and looked down at me and said Mr. Butler you have B Cell Lymphoma. The room started to spin and my sweating got worse and rings were forming on my shirt under my arms. I could feel my heart beating a mile a minute and just sat there. He didn't tell me anything about the type of cancer as that really wasn't his job and was telling me he was going to bring up my Case and Biopsy with the TUMOR BOARD.......HuH did I hear him say THE TUMOR BOARD ? I imagined this big room with a huge table where all these Docs sat around and talked about Tumors.....UGH OYE and NO WAYT JOSE.....I got up and started for the door and Doc grabbed me and told me to sit back down. He could see that I was ready for a Stroke and put his hand on my shoulder and said he would give me a referral for one of the 2 Oncologist in my town....I started to sweat even more now and drops were forming at the end of my nose......I remember saying NO Oncologist as I was going to take the biopsy and go home and study everything I could for the next week....I told him I had decided long ago that if I got cancer I wouldn't do chemo.....I got up and started for the door again and he went and shut the door and told me to sit back down. He said two words. RAW FOODS....too be continued....
SO I just stared at him as I was trying to calm down. The Tumor Board crap completely Freaked me out and didn't want anything to do with them even IF they could help. My help was to head to the nearest Bar and get Plastered BUT I was driving....I still had to go home and tell my lovely wife Suzanne about this and that Scenario was AWFUL. He looked at me and told me that he has many patients come back to him years later after Chemo and Radiation and Clinical Trials and the Cancer was back and they were running out of options and they would ask him if he knew anything else they could try. HE is the most Compassionate and Loving guy so I can see why people come back to him. NOW he is not a GP but he told me that IF I didn't go to see an Oncologist I'd have a hard time in this small town finding a regular doc to see me for anything. He then told me that he would see me as a Regular Patient under Special Circumstances....Said he was interested in my case and liked me....THAT really made me feel good.

He told me that there was a lot of studies that Raw Plant Foods are very Healing and that if I wasn't going to go the chemo route I should try and incorporate that type of diet. He told me to get a juicer and make carrot juice and mix other veggies with it.....He told me to LIVE MY LIFE and to PRAY a lot. HE was a LOVER of Jesus and after he told me all this he called in his Nurse and asked me if he could pray with and for me? What could I say NO? So the three of us held hands and he prayed to Jesus to heal me. I was shocked at this and had tears in my eyes and had the goose bumps and really didn't know what to make of it all. He didn't offer any false hope or anything but what he did was GIVE ME HOPE....I shook his hands and he gave me a hug and said again...LIVE YOUR LIFE and come back when I needed him Ever if it was just to talk. I slowly headed out the door to my car with the horrible thought that I had to tell Suzanne. I got in the car, switched on the ignition and headed on home to Tell Suzanne the bad news....MORE TO FOLLOW LATER KEEP POSTED...

1965.....My Mom...

It was 1965 and I was at the U of Miami in Coral Gables Florida. I originally went to Bridgeport U but flunked out in one Semester so I enrolled in Miami as a new student and started as a beginning Freshman. I played Basketball there until I got Mono and had to stop. It was the first time I wasn't playing basketball since I was five years old and to say I was lost was an understatement. My entire identity was wrapped up as a basketball player. I was a star in my small town of Merrick, Long Island and was a first stringer in my Sophmore Year....I didn't know till many years after my Mom died that she kept a scrap book with clippings from the newspapers of me in photos and articles and box scores. I LOVED my Mom but was amazed at this as she never told me. Maybe she was going to surprise me at a later date but she never had the chance.

I needed something new to do and found it in Music and Songwriting and Singing. I was in multiple bands in Miami and really got going. I played a bass guitar like Paul and really thought I was going to be the Next Beatles (Like so many others)....but it was not to be. When I went home at the end of that year I found out that my Mom had Breast Cancer and I was devastated. I remember that day like it was yesterday and it made a profound impact on my life....I went with her to Alabama to a cancer clinic run by a third cousin and she really didn't know any of them but went.....I went with her because my Dad either chickened out or lied about not being able to get away from work....Yeah Right....he owned the Printing Company.....So off we went and stayed at a small Hotel next to the Clinic. She went through a bunch of tests and scans and her Cousin's Wife came out and told me that SHE was full of cancer....I was 20 and really was horrified. That night in the Motel I remember asking my Mom if she was going to die and she asurred me that she was not. I believed everything my mom always told me but the tear in the corner of her eye told me that NO she was probably going to die. She had been having lots of bone pain etc after a Mastectomy and the Doctors kept telling her lies and that is was just bursitis. We packed up in the Morning and went back to the airport and went home both of us lost in our own thoughts......More to come after I eat.....

When we got home my Dad told my Mom that there was this great Teaching Cancer Hospital in Buffalo called Roswell Park Hospital. It supposedly had the most up do date drugs therapies and it was free. The problem was that it was about 400 miles from where we lived and couldn't understand why she had to go so far away. and BUT That is where she went and I only would only see her a few times before she died. My sister and I took a Train there for the last time and it was the last time I saw her. I remember that she was so out of it that she told me she was going up to the eighth floor to get the cure. As I was getting ready go go home the last time I saw her she told me "BARRY TAKE CARE OF YOUR SISTER AND YOUR DAD"....HUH...? I couldn't wrap my head around that as I was a young guy. The train ride home was LONG and my sister and I were lost in our own thoughts. When she was admitted about a month ago she was walking and talking and seemed fine and after whatever crap they gave her she turned into a vegetable.

Two weeks later I got a call from my Uncle Wally and he said that he had some bad news and that My Amazing and Wonderful Mom was gone.....I just sat there and then told him thanks. I put down the phone and went and told my sister and we cried our eyes out but in a selfish way I was glad my mom was out of pain and horror and so were we. She was the glue that held our family together and without her Me, Dad and Sister just didn't get along....We had a huge fight after the Funeral because I wouldn't go. I only wanted to remember her as she was and not lying in a coffin buried in the ground....I pictured her smiling and telling me how much she loved me and how special I was and THAT is how I remember her.....A month later my Dad and Sister drover me to the Airport and went to basic Training at Fort Jackson......More later

Last edited by Barry David Butler; 07/08/17 08:08 AM.