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#1128698 - 06/26/17 10:06 AM Burgundy and Blue  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,313
beechnut79 Offline
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beechnut79  Offline
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Villa Park IL
This is my latest demo. Inspired when one of the librarians at my local library pulled in lot with her burgundy colored van and me with my blue Kia at the same time. This is what I got out of those two colors.


http://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/player.cfm?type=single&songid=13591642&q=hi&newref=1


The rain is falling from a sullen sky
As I turn to thoughts of you
Issues of self-worth also arise
In burgundy and blue
Burgundy and blue

I sit here alone with my glass of wine
Although It might not be wise
Over the last four weeks Iíve been undone
By burgundy and blue
Burgundy and blue

Watching a movie is a way to escape
For a couple of hours tonight
A surge of vitality is yet to be found
In burgundy and blue
Burgundy and blue

Attempting a difficult crossword puzzle
May serve to chase you from my mind
Breaking out of old habits doesnít come easy
Round burgundy and blue
Burgundy and blue

Focusing on tasks that require solutions
Canít shake your memory
Support from others may be close at hand
With burgundy and blue
Burgundy and blue

#1128699 - 06/26/17 10:11 AM Re: Burgundy and Blue [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Feb 2005
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Dave Rice Online content
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Hi Brian:

I sure enjoyed my listen. Great Country Song with a "Hook for a title." I'm assuming this is a demo but it works well and your words are meaningful and straightforward.

Best of luck with it. ----Dave

#1128711 - 06/27/17 11:00 AM Re: Burgundy and Blue [Re: beechnut79]  
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NicholasSpoonerRodie Offline
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NicholasSpoonerRodie  Offline
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Awesome work ! Love the progression, and your voice is incredible. Great song and a strong demo for sure smile

#1128725 - 06/27/17 06:22 PM Re: Burgundy and Blue [Re: beechnut79]  
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beechnut79 Offline
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Villa Park IL
Thanks for the insight but it is a demo and, thankfully, not my own voice on the recording. Have often said that if I ever made a record with me singing I bet my own mother wouldn't have bought a copy. Peace.

#1128728 - 06/27/17 06:50 PM Re: Burgundy and Blue [Re: beechnut79]  
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Gavin Sinclair Offline
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Gavin Sinclair  Offline
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
I enjoyed listening. It has a nice vibe. I'll admit I didn't understand it completely. Where does the burgundy and blue come in? Is that Burgundy wine your character is drinking and it's making him feel blue? Or is it something to do with the way the lady he is missing would dress?

The singer seemed to have to rush the line "Over the last four weeks Iíve been undone." You could cut that to "These last four weeks Iíve been undone."

Same thing with "Attempting a difficult crossword puzzle." That could be cut to "A difficult crossword puzzle" to make it easier to sing.

#1128811 - 07/03/17 10:06 AM Re: Burgundy and Blue [Re: beechnut79]  
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beechnut79 Offline
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Your assumption is correct, but the more I thought about it, and too bad I didn't think of it before I had it demoed, this one probably would work better with a female singer. What do you think?

#1128816 - 07/03/17 02:11 PM Re: Burgundy and Blue [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,445
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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UK
Nice song. Some of the lines are a bit of a mouthful and sound rushed but that can be fixed.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.
http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold
#1132017 - 11/03/17 11:33 PM Re: Burgundy and Blue [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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E Swartz Offline
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E Swartz  Offline
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Ohio
Brian,

This was great, I really enjoyed this song, especially musically.

I was in the mood to check out a few songs that were down the list on their way to oblivion! I stopped on this one just because I liked it!

I enjoyed this performance and melody, but some of the lyrics to me didn't seem as natural and a bit disconcerting with lyrical flow. For me, I think the opening line is a little too "poetic-flowery" to open the song--great for a 300 page novel story setting however! I think it's good to use "rain" to set the mood, but think you can do that easily and more effectively with a more realistic everyday phrase. Example of a great opening line to set mood: "It was rain'n hard in Frisco," -- H Chapin. With a line like that, you are immediately there!

The 2nd line really is more of a topic sentence in the sense of what the song's theme will really be. I also think your 3rd line should modify that 2nd line better, rather than introducing a 2nd different thought so quickly--let each verse focus more on more related and connecting thoughts. A few other lines are likewise maybe too articulate for this song's vibe and pace--such as "focusing on tasks and solutions," kind of sounds too serious or like an organization manual title? I have always felt ballad lyrics are best when they are more simplistic. This may be what Vic was feeling as well. It sounds like I'm giving you a rough time, don't mean to, and a couple of line tweaks is really all I'm advocating, but my thoughts are also not necessarily correct, but just an opinion--use or lose!

Anyway, I really like the Burgandy & Blue contrasting expression. -- Great phrase both metaphorically and phonetically as it paces nicely. Your vocalist sounds great as well, definitely this song has potential.
Nice write for sure! Good luck with it Brian.

steady-eddie

#1132078 - 11/04/17 09:14 PM Re: Burgundy and Blue [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Nov 2007
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PeteG Offline
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PeteG  Offline
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Portland, Oregon
I enjoyed listening - good song - I think if you just put "my" before "Burgundy and blues" it would clear up the meaning and make it more conversational jmo --- Pete

#1132194 - 11/07/17 07:49 AM Re: Burgundy and Blue [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Aug 2010
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Paul Churchfield Offline
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Paul Churchfield  Offline
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Nashville, TN
Brian, I really like it. Gotta love a color song. Reminds me of the color song exercises from Songwriter Idea Book. I never wrote one. But not for lack of trying. Great job!

#1132204 - 11/07/17 05:37 PM Re: Burgundy and Blue [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 32
RainyDayMan Offline
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RainyDayMan  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 32
Great melody. You hooked me in with that straight away. I really like the "burgundy and blue" phrase, and although it isn't directly explained in the lyric I think you hint at it in the second verse. I liked "The rain is falling from a sullen sky" - I didn't have a problem with that at all.

"Issues of self-worth" sounds self-indulgent to me. I think you could reword that around "Doubts" and make it accessible to a wider audience.

A couple of lines feel a bit awkward:
"Attempting a difficult crossword puzzle"
"Focusing on tasks that require solutions"
Those are written in passive voice. I'd try for something more conversational.

I feel like I'm writing mainly negative comments, but I really like this song. It has a great feel to it and is well worth investing time on.


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